@roamfarandwide
There is a recognised school of thought within behaviour management that suggests any attention, including negative attention, can feel preferable to no attention at all. This is not a criticism of children’s behaviour, but an acknowledgement of how negative interaction patterns can become reinforced over time.
In schools, behaviour support is usually structured, consistent and incremental, with a strong focus on positive reinforcement.
The process typically follows a clear cycle:
1.Identify one specific behaviour to change
This is agreed collaboratively with parents or carers and should be clear, realistic and achievable.
2.Give a clear instruction
For example:
“When you come into the house, you put your shoes on the shoe rack.” ( or whatever annoys you and is an achievable change
3.Model the expectation
The adult demonstrates the behaviour so the expectation is explicit and understood.
4.Reinforce immediately with specific praise
Praise is directly linked to the behaviour:
“Well done for putting your shoes on the shoe rack.” (Whatever you want to address and us achievable)
5.Use consistent positive reinforcement
Longer term reinforcement, such as a sticker chart or agreed reward, may be used to strengthen motivation and consistency.
6.Minimise/ignore attention on low level unwanted behaviour
Unless behaviour is unsafe or presents a safeguarding concern, minor negative behaviours are not given attention.
7.Repeat and build on success
Once the behaviour becomes established, a new target behaviour is introduced and the cycle begins again.
It shouldn’t take long to turn the negativity around and support your DS’s self esteem.
The aim is to shift the child’s experience of attention away from negativity and towards success, recognition and positive engagement.
Good for the child and good for you.