I’m destroying my perfect life

[Worriedmummy1244]

I’ve got the most amazing life, we’ve had our difficulties but overall I’m extremely lucky and I have an amazing husband and 2 beautiful kids 2 and 6.

Every month 4-5 days before my period I get so so angry, I feel horrific, tired, angry, irritable and very depressed

i really struggle with the kids, I don’t tolerate my husband at all. Yesterday I was trying to do some chores and the kids were arguing, my husband was in the garden and I flew into a rage with him. I can shout and cry and it’s like something overtakes my body and I can’t fix it. I am not this person at any other time. I never shout.

I don’t know what to do, it feels like it’s getting worse and my husband is getting really frustrated as it feels like he has to put up with a lot every month. I don’t know how to fix it, sometimes in these days I feel they’d be better off without me.

I feel like a huge failure, how can I stop doing this?

Aww love, it might be that pre menstrual tension syndrome. You can get help with it I believe.

My mum had that, I remember her going to a specialist for treatment when I was younger.

Please try not to beat yourself up. You recognise it's an issue and it's a big step. I'd probably not cope with all arguing around me either so that definitely won't help.

Maybe see your gp and ask them if it could be that potentially?

It sounds like you may have PMDD, Google it. Thankfully I’m now menopausal, but I was a slave to my hormones since my first period. Go and see your GP, 10 years ago most were completely in the dark about the condition, hopefully if it’s better these days. Facebook had quite a good support group, join and read about current medications.

I had never heard of PMDD that sounds like exactly what it is

Sounds like PMDD I was just diagnosed it’s awful.

Let your husband know that you think you’ve figured out what is going on and get yourself to the gp. Be kind with yourself.

My mum had something like this when I was growing up and it really affected my childhood / life. I’d hope there are better treatments out there now than in the 1980’s and certainly more recognition of this kind of thing. Please get medical help.

This episode might help: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/66-pmdd-and-mental-health-whats-really-going-on/id1459614845?i=1000767696132

I have pmdd sounds very similar. I’m on sertraline. Best thing I have ever done. Please do see your GP about it. Mention that you think this is what it is. They are quite supportive.

It’s hard on your husband right now, what helped mine was him knowing I was taking steps to fix the problem.

Definitely see your GP (and if he/she doesn't know what to do, find a different one). Don't be hard on yourself but do get some help.

Your GP should be your next stop. There have been various names over the years and I’m not sure which one is currently in fashion, but this kind of intense mood swing linked to your cycle is something they can help with.

Yeah PMDD, it's not just feeling a bit bad before your period, it fundamentally changes your reality for that time and the physical symptoms can be very pronounced. The exhaustion I feel at that time is insane and every month I am convinced everything in my life is absolute trash. It's not your fault OP but get yourself some help as others have said and make sure to show your husband an explanation of it because it might help him to understand. Try to take some extra time for yourself on those days, even half an hour.

I used to suffer the same. I’m post menopause now and it’s wonderful. One thing that helped with these symptoms though was when I was on a ketogenic\low carb diet- I had none of these symptoms. Give it a go for a month and see if it helps.

Pmdd

Yes, as everyone else has said - please book in with your GP and ask about PMDD. If your surgery has one witb a special interest in women’s health issues, try to see that one. You can obviously ask the receptionist but you can also work it out by looking at the qualifications of each GP on the website - my GP has an extra qualification in this area. I can’t remember the name of the qualification but it is obvious when you see it.

Lean on your husband too. People feel the most love when they're asked for help. Admitting you need medical help and his help will go a long way to making the two of you stronger as a unit getting through this medical difficulty. There's hope!

This is difficult for you OP. But it's worse for your DH and your kids.

This will end your marriage if you don't get a grip on it. Doesn't matter the why, there's only so much people can take. You don't want your kids growing up with the memory of you being like this.

You need to see your GP ASAP.

This is not fair on them being a female doesn't not justify this see your gp asap

You can go to your GP and ask for a referral but I honestly think that, if it's as bad as you say, you need to pay for a private lady gynecologist specialized in this sort of thing. You need a really long consultation.

You’re not a failure at all. It really sounds like hormones or PMDD could be affecting you, especially since it happens before your period every month. Please speak to a doctor because you deserve support, and try not to be too hard on yourself — the fact you care this much shows how much you love your family.

I've just come along to say please consult your GP. There are treatments available, it might take a while for them to work out what sort of treatment suits you you won't find out unless you try. If you can try to track exactly when it starts and what happens so you can show the regular pattern of the symptoms.

I had PMDD and menopause is the biggest relief! I used herbal medicine to cope with some of the flare ups. Everyone is different you might want to use mainstream medicine too.

Following this thread as I could have written it myself! My husband and I never argue… except the week before my period, like clockwork. I figured it out when I was pregnant and it was PERFECT. No arguments, no mood swings. I loved being pregnant!!

this is really interesting @TinkyBella I’ve been dabbling in keto/low carb. My problem is that I binge during this time. I find it really hard to stick to any diet in the days prior to my period. It feels physically impossible. Im just a monster who shouts, screams, cries and eats!

I was exactly the same, I felt awful for most of the month and so angry, paranoid and upset all the time. My doctor prescribed me a small dosage of Prozac and it was the best thing for me, it just made me feel normal again. If any consolation after years of awful PMT my menopause was a breeze!

Good advice about seeing your gp above. In between time,for PMT a good multi vitamin with lots of Bs, high strength star flower oil, keeping blood sugars level so no missing meals, natural food,cutting down sugar and caffeine, keeping hydrated, yoga and good sleep helped.

I’ve often thought I have pmdd. However I also think there is truth to my rages. Like I suppress my anger, distress and disappointment most of them but then once a month it gets released. Am I missing something here?