I’m destroying my perfect life

[Worriedmummy1244]

I’ve got the most amazing life, we’ve had our difficulties but overall I’m extremely lucky and I have an amazing husband and 2 beautiful kids 2 and 6.

Every month 4-5 days before my period I get so so angry, I feel horrific, tired, angry, irritable and very depressed

i really struggle with the kids, I don’t tolerate my husband at all. Yesterday I was trying to do some chores and the kids were arguing, my husband was in the garden and I flew into a rage with him. I can shout and cry and it’s like something overtakes my body and I can’t fix it. I am not this person at any other time. I never shout.

I don’t know what to do, it feels like it’s getting worse and my husband is getting really frustrated as it feels like he has to put up with a lot every month. I don’t know how to fix it, sometimes in these days I feel they’d be better off without me.

I feel like a huge failure, how can I stop doing this?

Just wanted to add another supplement recommendation that has worked for me - saffron (use the strands as a tea). Hope you find something that works.

It’s not your fault, it’s a medical condition, PMDD.
I’d first try a supplement called Agnus Castus. Vogel does Agnus Castus drops, they are good! Follow the instructions on the package. You should be able to get it on Amazon. Starflower oil capsules or Evening Primrose oil capsules could help as well.
Tell your husband about PMDD, send him some links to it. I hope you get well soon!! Xoxox

I second this - i took a massive dose of starflower capsules and they helped. Around 1000mg per day in my 30s - obvs check as this may no longer be the done thing - but inwas recommended by my therapist and they helped.

While you're awaiting a gp appointment do try some calming apps and physical activity too. Endorphins help.

You've a whole life of hormonal challenges ahead and yes gp may prescribe anti ds but self care can help too www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd/self-care-for-pmdd/

I can remember it was like a light going on when I said to a friend "I only lose it with my kid once a month" . Sadly in those days there was very little help, I never even bothered seeing a GP but hung on by a thread knowing that as soon as i started to bleed the despair, rage, exhaustion, raging hunger, weird dreams, painful breasts, and the grey cast that seemed to cover my world would go. Thankfully there is or should be more understanding of the condition now so I do hope you can access some help and treatment.

my period came back after 18m PP. I was awful the 10 days before period, including high anxiety and suicidal ideation. I was googling sertraline 3 days before my period came as I thought I was nuts and my life was f-d (it’s not btw). Period came and everything changed.

I also had PMDD symptoms before my baby was born ( I have DS7 and DS1)

this month I’ve tried micro dosing mushrooms instead of doctors because I don’t want a life of anti depressants for severe hormonal mood swings.

Wow I can’t believe how many are in the same boat, the suggestions and comments have all been extremely helpful. I’m so grateful

I had this. The gp prescribed me Cerazette to stop ovulation.

I thought this too. I’ve noticed it a lot lately - somethings in the news then I see posts on MN about it.

i also see clusters of posts on MN about similar things/issues, eg the other day there were e separate posts around teaching kids to call 999.

Makes me wonder how many posts are genuine and how many have an agenda.

If for 5 days of every month you are in a state of rage (and presumably there’s a couple of days post 5 days of rage where your husband and children are a little withdrawn / shell shocked?), then I truly don’t think anyone would think you have a “perfect life” @Worriedmummy1244

I've only heard about PMDD this morning, thanks to today's article on the BBC website https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx21kypwpzno

I was exactly the same back in the day (had gynae problems and had both ovaries removed 2 years apart) It used to be like a red must came over me. I used to watch what I ate and drank so no sugar spikes. If not on Keto diet google the Glucose Goddess she has good advice about keeping sugar spikes under control so no red mist. I also seem to remember taking Vitamin B6 but it was a long time ago and advise changes. Good luck in getting it under control OP 💐

Thanks for your original post, could have written something identical. Reading all the responses has encouraged me to contact the GP next week

"Currently in fashion" - what an insensitive thing to say. People who suffer with anything - isnt fashionable. Its pure suffering. Use better language & do better.

Women involved in advocating for better health care are up against it all the time.
We don’t need shitty language from other women.
PMDD isn’t a bit of irritability just as endometriosis isn’t period pain.

I think you must be suffering from it right now 😂 She's talking about the name not the condition.

I read an article this week where they have decided to rename PCOS. It's been in the mainstream news.

I’m sorry. I did not mean to cause offense.

I had postpartum anxiety which was the phrase at the time, but I know there are different terms in use today. That is what I meant.

I know there is a term to describe a woman experiencing extreme mental distress leading up to menstruation.

doctors just changed pCOs to pmos. It doesn’t change the condition.

if we use the wrong term people get upset. I was trying to be respectful and clearly failed.

i apologize.

@Worriedmummy1244

i am sorry if my attempt at precise language was in fact so imprecise that it derailed things.

There is help available and you should reach out for assistance. There is no shame in asking for it. I have been there like many women.

I have this, I had a full hysterectomy and both ovaries removed aged 34 due to this condition. Like others have said you need to try to get referred to a gynecologist and they will be able to start your treatment.

Ah bless you! 🙏 I can totally sympathise. I had the rage quite bad and anything my husband would do would have my internal and external rages going off the radar. Seems what others have suggested re antidepressants are great ideas. Also letting your husband know when you feel the rage coming and you are likely to be unreasonable for xx days (which helped mine to be supportive and take things less personally). I have hope you can get through this 🙏💐❤️

*or other treatments people have suggested. But going to the GP will be the way to go to see what might work best for you

I’ve been like this since around four months after the birth of our daughter seven months ago - I’d wondered about PMDD. Absolute nightmare. I feel for you, OP, and thank you for starting a thread. Some good advice here and weirdly reassuring to know we’re not alone.

Sertraline literally life changing for my pmdd.

How did you find it after your hysterectomy? This is what I am hoping to have in the next year or so, but worried about menopausal symptoms as my mum has had an awful time with the menopause

Its been a lot better, I have to have estrogen gel (im up to 4 pumps a day) to balance my hormones. Some people can manage without the HRT but I feel depressed without it and the hot flushes are awful, you just have to take it at the same time every day to stop fluctuations.