I’m destroying my perfect life

[Worriedmummy1244]

I’ve got the most amazing life, we’ve had our difficulties but overall I’m extremely lucky and I have an amazing husband and 2 beautiful kids 2 and 6.

Every month 4-5 days before my period I get so so angry, I feel horrific, tired, angry, irritable and very depressed

i really struggle with the kids, I don’t tolerate my husband at all. Yesterday I was trying to do some chores and the kids were arguing, my husband was in the garden and I flew into a rage with him. I can shout and cry and it’s like something overtakes my body and I can’t fix it. I am not this person at any other time. I never shout.

I don’t know what to do, it feels like it’s getting worse and my husband is getting really frustrated as it feels like he has to put up with a lot every month. I don’t know how to fix it, sometimes in these days I feel they’d be better off without me.

I feel like a huge failure, how can I stop doing this?

i had this for years op. Try the hormone coil.

I got the mirena coil and it has been life changing . I wish I had it twenty years ago. I have spent a lifetime at the mercy of my hormones. Very low for 4 days before period and then very high for 4 days when ovulation. Both were terrifying . When low I wanted to kill everyone and myself. When high I thought i was indestructible and loved everyone. Writing about it now it makes me so sad that I lived like that ( and sad for this who lived with me) . I am a settled calm person with a consistent sense of self now. It’s wonderful. Please try it op- ps it took about 6 months to reach full effect .

Sertraline will help

As others have said, it doesn’t sound like normal PMT - the type you can usually self manage with chocolate and carbs.

If your DH is a good man, have a proper chat with him and say you recognise there’s an issue and you want to get help. A good bloke will be supportive.

Also make sure you get a sympathetic GP and if you get dismissed, go for a second opinion. Sadly, women’s health issues can still be frequently dismissed as ‘hysteria’ or ‘just the way it is’.

I really don’t think you have to live like this - feeling miserable yourself and also no doubt inadvertently existing in an environment that’s hard for the people who love you too.

Hope you get some answers soon!

Came hear to say exactly this after I read it on BBC news

Yes, this.

Yes, it sounds like PMDD it's horrendous, sertraline is great for me and I'm just trying ditto vitamins to see if they help xxx

I just joined to say I was like this for years. The gp suggested anti depressants years ago which I avoided. Finally got put on Sertraline last autumn. It’s changed my life. I rarely lose my temper now and no longer scream at my husband. I really recommend seeing your gp about this.

If you're on Instagram Vicky Pattison suffers with pmdd and is trying to raise awareness of it, she regularly posts lots about it.

PMDD is wicked. I used to be genuinely murderous, especially approaching perimenopause. Definitely see your GP. There were times when I was convinced DH and I would divorce. It’s calmed down now that I’m further into menopause but there may well be something your GP can prescribe.

Pmt.they used to give water tablets to help but definitely see your gp.i used to get it.it is horrible but was easily treatable

Definitely see your gp, your behaviour is abusive and your DH will only put up with so much before he leaves.

I know different types of contraception can make it better/worse and so it’s worth doing a lot of research and asking the gp for certain things.

If you exercise, it’s worth stepping up this exercise a couple of days before your period is due.
I know someone who runs and an early morning run does wonders.

Explain it to your DH and come up with a solution where a couple of days before it’s due, you fit in extra time to go and exercise by yourself, whether that’s early morning, after work or in the evening etc.

If it reassures you, I went to one of Dr Louise Newson's tour shows last month, and she told a story of a lady who was in prison for murdering her husband, and when she got her period the next day, she felt much better. She keeps having her sentence extended, apparently, because every month around the time of her period, she gets really angry with the prison guards and is awful to them. Dr Newson recommended some hormones for her but they didn't like the suggestion!

The point is, PMDD is real and it can be treated. You don't have to live like this and it isn't your fault that you're experiencing these symptoms. You aren't destroying anything - you're just facing a health challenge that needs to be treated.

Mine was made much worse by being on a particular brand if contraceptive pill.

When my colleague resigned because I was so unreasonable I went to the GP.
Simple change in pill fixed it.

You'll be ok. But hormones suck.

I have the same and it’s getting worse in perimenopause - doc said Sertraline upping pre period would be very helpful, and i need to look into PMDD. Hope things improve xx

@Worriedmummy1244 Using antidepressants to deal with this is like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut.

I'd highly recommend listening to Dr Louise Newson's podcast and look into getting prescribed Estradiol.

Book a test with Future Woman-it’s a Dutch test which tests hormone levels. They also send a report with recommendations for lifestyle changes, food and supplements and a consultation with a nutritional therapist. I did this last September as I was the same and was happening after my period, then again after ovulation. I now rarely get PMT - sometimes a little down after my period but was down to low iron too. It’s really worth doing rather than just going down the anti depressant route. Whilst that works for some it has been recalled lately due to causing suicidal thoughts and can potentially make things worse. You need to address the root cause and then make the appropriate changes.

Just to add I saw GPs too- they only ever recommend Sertraline.

I’m with you here, it’s awful it makes me want to crawl out of my own skin, it’s the only way I can describe it

PMDD. Absolutely. Tried three different birth control, the third has changed my life. Not a miracle but no longer ruled by my cycle. I am 43 so gp wants to move me to hrt in near future.
Find a sympathetic GP.

Minipill x

Your colleague resigned because your behaviour was so awful towards her??

That’s awful!

Surely you should have been the one to resign or be sacked ?

PMS or PMDD. I struggle with PMS badly too and the contraceptive pill stops these symptoms for me. Edit to say Lizinna combined is the pill that works for me but everyone is different of course, might take some trial and error.

We are all different. I was given the progesterone only pill first and it made me suicidal. It was my symptoms on acid.

This can help but for some progesterone makes it worse (happened to me as a teenager when I was on it during PMDD weeks I was regularly suspended as became violent) it is a good option for some but not all.

Anger can sometimes be a manifestation of depression. If you are repeatedly quick to anger it may be worth seeking professional health / talking therapy.