DH wont leave

[Rainymay12]

Dh refusing to leave. I have asked him to leave, I have had enough. I work to pay all bills and get his card “here and there” to “pop to the shop” i do all house work, childcare school runs whilst he spend 7 days a week working for his Dad’s buisness of which he gwts a tiny wage and we see none of it. Recently his mother has been more than horrific towards me and he has been so so complacent about it, he is complacent about everything, the house needs replastering and lots of work outside, we need a new car we need a new lawnmower my tumble dryer is on the blink. Im spending yet another weekend solo parenting with no car. I asked him to leave at linch time. He laughed and said hes not leaving to be without the kids. Do I pack up with kids and go? This is nothing new ive had countless convos about things needing to change, with countless promises..

Im guessing you probably don't have a formal contract with your dad?

Start divorce proceedings. Oh and get your dad to change the locks when he's out if you want him gone immediately.

I wouldn’t move out without the kids, it would be like abandoning them, especially when their father doesn’t do anything for them. Could you take the kids when he is at work and move in with your parents, tell them everything. Your dad can then make plans to evict him, once he is gone you can move back with the kids x

In that case you are not going to get him. Talk to a solicitor about divorce, Then take the kids the car and leave.

The OP's father owns the house, do you honestly think for one second he's going to see his DD and grandchildren being financially abused, let down repeatedly, left without any form of transport and do absolutely nothing about it?

OP, I hope by now that you've talked to your father about this.

O my gosh, sorry I did not get a chance to see responses untill now! Thank you so so so much everyone. He wanted to talk things through and “change” which is what always happens but nothing changes and everything still remains the same but i really have had enough this time, so i packed us up to grandads for a “sleepover” but he did eventually say he would “give me space” so he stayed at his parents last night. Head is swiming and lots to think about , thank you

Your anecdata doesn’t negate the actual statistical evidence to the contrary.

Agree, there are things to think about, like answering the question of who's name is on the tenancy. I hope he does change his ways but it sounds like he is just buying some time and going off on the drink.

Are you going to answer any of the questions about the tenancy situation OP?

Yes its my name DH moved in with me sorry i assumed these were questions for me to keep things in mind

Great, so he can't just refuse to leave. Well, he can, but you just change the locks when he's out.

Are you going to take legal advice about legally evicting him from the property?

Not necessarily. It does put OP in a strong position to have him removed though.

Op you should not have to move out he brings nothing to the relationship or the kids or your house he’s not on paperwork so he can’t refuse he sounds horrible tbh.

I'm inclined to agree with Op just throwing him out after giving him about two weeks notice in writing to leave with a few other people present to support her, and call the police if he is threatening, on the basis that he's not got any legal right to live in the property as he's not on the tenancy agreement, (OP has stated this) and that OP wants to legally separate and divorce him.
I think the fact that OP's father is the landlord in this situation is a bit of a red herring and is confusing matters. If OP was unrelated to her landlord, and the tenancy was in her name only, I'm pretty sure that her husband would have no legal right at all to reside in the property. It would be easy to clarify this with CAB or shelter or some other free legal advice giving organisation, or a Paid solicitor, to double check she's within her rights to throw him out. It would also be useful if she needed police assistance at the time, to prove to them that she is legally allowed to do so (the police can get things wrong in this sort of situation)

@Rainymay12

The fact that it is in your name AND was your home prior to him moving in is in your favour, however the fact that you are legally married may have a bearing on whether or not you can simply change the locks. Also, since he is not on the tenancy would that mean that your dad could evict him as he is not 'technically' his tenant?

I'm not in the UK, but maybe someone here knows of an organization who may be able to advise the OP on the above?

ETA: Oh, I see the poster above me has cited a couple of organizations to check with.

He’s already left, so adding drama with changing the locks probably isn’t necessary.

Only temporarily though I believe.

If it’s only your name on the tenancy then he really has no rights.

Why do you keep going on about this? Men on averega earn more than women, that's a fact. No one cares about the women you know.This situation isn't anything to do with him being a low earner and everythign to do with him working for his dad for a token wage