DH wont leave

[Rainymay12]

Dh refusing to leave. I have asked him to leave, I have had enough. I work to pay all bills and get his card “here and there” to “pop to the shop” i do all house work, childcare school runs whilst he spend 7 days a week working for his Dad’s buisness of which he gwts a tiny wage and we see none of it. Recently his mother has been more than horrific towards me and he has been so so complacent about it, he is complacent about everything, the house needs replastering and lots of work outside, we need a new car we need a new lawnmower my tumble dryer is on the blink. Im spending yet another weekend solo parenting with no car. I asked him to leave at linch time. He laughed and said hes not leaving to be without the kids. Do I pack up with kids and go? This is nothing new ive had countless convos about things needing to change, with countless promises..

Apply to the court for an occupancy order based on it being the children’s home and you being the parent who meets all their needs?

I would change the locks, sod being illegal, like anyone would go to jail for that nowadays!

It would take years to get to court.

Cancel what card? What have I missed?

The dad should be disgusted with the man's treatment of his daughter and demand he leaves!

He can demand all he likes.

But the law is the law.

This is very funny. Try making a man have his children 50% of the time when he has no interest in them

Because they are not very intelligent? Maybe?

'Just change the locks' is a sheep-like reply that's been trotted out on MN since before I joined 15 years ago.

You'd think people would learn it's not that simple.

Yeah. They all egg each other on, don't they. It's risible.

He thinks you’re joking. What about getting your dad over and telling him to go again. Pack a bag for him in advance and consider changing the locks. Get your dad to talk to him. If that fails threaten to call the police. If he still won’t go and the police won’t intervene personally I would take the kids and go and stay with your parents for a bit whilst your dad evicts him.

Then it is your home, I'm sure you can make him go and agree access to the children.

Why does your husband only earn a pittance from his father's firm and not contribute? He's not a student living with parents, he has responsibilities..

Why would she phone the police? It’s his home
too and she’s in no danger. You can’t call the police in just because you’re sick of your marriage.

It's your dad's house, he should leave .

DO NOT leave, if it ever came to it, you'd be classed as intentionally homeless, and the Council won't have to house you, children or not.

I've only read up to page 2 but there is some horifically incorrect advice in here. OP, please contact Shelter on Monday and the Citizens Advice Bureau to find out what your actual rights in law are. It's advisable to do everything by the book just in case or his mother decide to involve the family court. Although if you are renting, even from a family member, it shouldn't be too complicated.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Why would his mother involved the family court? And for what?

What do you mean nowadays? The new law came into effect on 1st May 2026. It's bang up to date. He cannot be prevented from accessing his home.

In my area, people who commit crimes that would historically have ended up with a prison sentence (e.g child porn, attacking NHS workers etc) no longer attracts a pris8n sentence.

Nothing to do with the new housing laws, just general society.

No chance of a Mum with multiple kids getting jailed for kicking her "DH" out of the house.

What do you think she needs advice for? Jesus Christ, it’s simple. Citizens advice or shelter must get some right dimwits calling up if this is the sort of thing they’re expected to deal with.

Perfect. Ideal in fact. Forget asking him to leave. See a solicitor and get a divorce.

No it wouldn't be OP because she is not the landlord.

The landlord, her father, could face up to 2 years in prison or a hefty fine. I'm sure OP doesn't want to cause him any problems like that.

The landlord is not above the law. just because he happens to be her father. This is the whole point of the Renters Rights Act 2026, to prevent illegal evictions and protect tenants such as OPs DH.

The section that would relate to OP's DH is covered under End of 'No-Fault' Evictions: Section 21 notices are abolished. Landlords must now provide legitimate, evidence-supported reasons (like selling the property or anti-social behaviour) to evict tenants.

Why are you talking about jail? It’s nothing to do with jail
It’s the fact that the police, if involved, will immediately grant him access anyway, and the fact he can sue his landlord and or simply get a locksmith out to change the locks to ones of his choosing.

its not about jail, it’s pointless.

So sorry you're in this situation OP. But I am so glad women are seeing these man babies for the millstones that they are & giving them their marching orders.

Literally change the locks while he's out. It's your dad's house. Tough shit. Job done. Bag his clothes up and leave them outside or have someone take them to his mum's. Just lock the doors and leave you key in slightly turned usually stop the door being unlocked from the outside.

Firstly, I’ve never dated a low earner. Plenty of men earn average wages or even earn well including many of my friends and family. Men still earn more than average than woman.

Secondly it’s not just about him being a low earner is it? It’s the fact he seems to be deliberately putting himself in this position by working for his dad. By the sounds of it he would probably earn more or at least the same in a minimum wage job working less hours AND he is generally unhelpful, not pulling his weight around the house and letting his mum disrespect his wife.

And finally - being single for Op is preferable to being with this man and that’s what they are apparently trying to achieve. It’s him who is digging his heels in, so to be fair she’s not just “complaining”

There doesn’t seem to be really benefit in being with this kind of man and no not every man is useless, so lets not scare women into thinking this is all that’s out there. And even if it is I’m assuming a new man isn’t exactly a concern or priority for Op right now.

It’s a shame more women don’t do this before they have kids though. I don’t understand how people can have multiple children with a man like this. Unless he only started being like this after the last child.

I get she can’t undo it or whatever but as a general comment I am pleading with women to stop bearing children for useless men and bringing kids into dysfunctional situations