DH wont leave

[Rainymay12]

Dh refusing to leave. I have asked him to leave, I have had enough. I work to pay all bills and get his card “here and there” to “pop to the shop” i do all house work, childcare school runs whilst he spend 7 days a week working for his Dad’s buisness of which he gwts a tiny wage and we see none of it. Recently his mother has been more than horrific towards me and he has been so so complacent about it, he is complacent about everything, the house needs replastering and lots of work outside, we need a new car we need a new lawnmower my tumble dryer is on the blink. Im spending yet another weekend solo parenting with no car. I asked him to leave at linch time. He laughed and said hes not leaving to be without the kids. Do I pack up with kids and go? This is nothing new ive had countless convos about things needing to change, with countless promises..

WHO'S NAME IS ON THE *@£&?!** TENANCY AGREEMENT???????

@Notagaiin Firstly, I’ve never dated a low earner. Plenty of men earn average wages or even earn well including many of my friends and family. Men still earn more than average than woman.

I would question that. Most women I see have good jobs, whereas most men struggle to get above the UK median salary. Women interview better than men, obviously.

As I already explained, society needs to get used to the idea that most men have very little money - because that's how it actually is.

Just leave. He definitely won't change even if he promises to. I think you know this.

Do you actually have a tenancy agreement or just live there as his daughter, if you see what I mean?

Yeah this is important.

Because if there is no tenancy agreement then you and your dad can just pack up his stuff and change the locks. He has no legal recourse at all. Same if you have a tenancy agreement in your name only.

If you have a joint tenancy then there are a few ways he can legally end the tenancy, most of which you can find a way around.

I agree with this.

Why is it wrong? It’s her dad’s house she wants him out. There’s likely not a tenancy agreement between family. I used to rent a house from my parents with a partner. No way would I have left.

You can question what you like, but I don't see why your experience of family, friends and acquaintances trumps @Notagaiin's and mine.

You might feel special, but you are not privy to information and knowledge that we aren't.

You'll have to do better than just insisting that you're right.

He still has rights, even if there is no tenancy agreement because it is the marital home.

Surely your father can chuck him out or give you both notice then move you back in.

No it isnt. Its just where they live.

"Marital home" is somewhere where they both have rights to be either by virtue of them both being on a tenancy agreement or it being an asset of the marriage through ownership.

They dont own it as it is owned by @Rainymay12 's father. So unless he has his name on a legal document such as a tenancy agreement, he has no rights at all.

Nope. That is Not how it is just because you say so! On average men earn more than women if anything. Statistics back this up.

Perhaps it’s just your social circle. Most of the men I know have average or high earning jobs.

But even if this were true that men earn less, it’s neither here nor there for the situation at hand, because in this specific situation he seems to have chosen this path deliberately by working 7 days a week for a pittance, so he can work for his dad AND he is an all around horrible husband who doesn’t pull his weight at home.

Women should not be getting used to useless men like the one OP is with .

This is why many men are now complaining they “can’t find a woman” because they (certain men not all) are bringing nothing to the table.

Men like this need to accept women are increasingly not going to marry them or have their kids - and the birth rate will continue to plummet if they are going to behave like this. Women are waking up to the fact that in many cases having a man is no prize.

It would probably require 4 months notice for your father to move a family member in under the Renter's Act - assuming you've observed the requirements to use that (given the correct info etc).

@Notagaiin But even if this were true that men earn less, it’s neither here nor there for the situation at hand, because in this specific situation he seems to have chosen this path deliberately by working 7 days a week for a pittance, so he can work for his dad AND he is an all around horrible husband who doesn’t pull his weight at home.

As I have already explained, some people are low earners and that's something that you have to learn to accept. He clearly is not lazy as he works a 7 day week.

Women should not be getting used to useless men like the one OP is with .
This is why many men are now complaining they “can’t find a woman” because they are bringing nothing to the table.

This is a ridiculous comment, given that decades ago, it was normal for many women not to earn an income at all. This man earns his own income, so you can't say he brings nothing to the table.

If he is living there with his wife it is the marital home, regardless of whether they own it or rent it. If there is no tenancy agreement, he still has rights.

A tenancy agreement can be formed by 'implied terms' such as regular rental payments, they don't need to be written into a tenancy agreement.

Exactly! And the thing is the statistics don’t back up his assertion.

www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/bulletins/genderpaygapintheuk/2025#pay-differences-between-men-and-women

@Rainymay12 if you want useful help and support, please answer the questions.

Do you have a tenancy agreement? Is your husband on it?

Otherwise this thread is entirely pointless other than vague moral support

You are completely wrong. If they are married, he has rights to the home, irrespective of whether or not he's named on the tenancy.

Nah you’re the one being absurd.

Look, read the Op He isn’t pulling his weight at home and he lets his mother abuse his wife. He isn’t bringing anything to the table.

As I said from the outset it’s not just about the income alone but working 7 days a week for a pittance suggests he is earning equal to or less than what he would be getting working 40 hours just so he can work for his dad.

He may not even be working hard btw. I know plenty of people lazy who only work in the family business so they don’t have to work as hard. But even if we say for arguments sake he is working hard , in this case it’s to the detriment of his family if he isn’t pulling in enough money to justify working all those hours.

And SAHM certainly did and do pull their weight- by looking after the kids and the home!

I work to pay all bills and get his card “here and there” to “pop to the shop” i do all house work, childcare school runs whilst he spend 7 days a week working for his Dad’s buisness of which he gets a tiny wage and we see none of it.

How are you trying to argue this man is anything other than useless as a father and husband? It’s actually laughable. What is he bringing her other than disappointment and annoyance??

If anything she will be financially better off by getting rid of him and nothing will change for her in terms of housework and childcare. It’s one less mouth to feed for her. The fact she isn’t seeing any of the money he earns shows either he’s letting his Dad pay him a joke wage and/or he’s stashing it all away. Because even on a MW job working 7 days a week he’d be earning enough to contribute significantly.

But either way the impact and root cause is the same - he isn’t a responsible husband and father.

So nah some of won’t tolerate this BS from men. Thankfully many men are much better than this. And even if they’re not - single is a better option than a man like that.

Do not move out of your home!! Your partner will be the primary carer for your kids and screw you over in court!!

I meant to say above :

As I said from the outset it’s not just about the income alone, but working 7 days a week for a pittance suggests he is choosing to earn equal to or less than what he would be getting working 40 hours even at minimum wage , just so he can work for his dad for over 40 hours, it make zero financial sense.

You can make decisions like that if you’re single and child free but he’s not.

In a nutshell he’s taking the piss out of Op knowing she has the bills covered. (And everything else covered as well).

If he was half way decent he’d give up his job and do the lion share of house work and childcare and school work during the week to support OP, and then maybe just do a few hours work with his Dad.

Women in lower paid jobs sacrifice their work hours all the time when they have kids, if their partner earns an amount to cover everything. And instead they step up with the childcare and housework.

They do not get to work seven days a week earning a pittance on their hobby job or family business, if it means they neglect all childcare and housework while also contributing zero to household finances.

Outrageous behaviour.

@Notagaiin As I said from the outset it’s not just about the income alone but working 7 days a week for a pittance suggests he is earning equal to or less than what he would be getting working 40 hours just so he can work for his dad.
He may not even be working hard btw. I know plenty of people lazy who only work in the family business so they don’t have to work as hard. But even if we say for arguments sake he is working hard , in this case it’s to the detriment of his family if he isn’t pulling in enough money to justify working all those hours.

The bizarre thing is that you are suggesting he should find a different job, yet you're completely overlooking the fact that it is currently impossible to find a job. The job market is completely oversaturated.

The job working for his father is the only job available to him. He cannot do anything else.

@shuggles Bt, No one is saying don’t accept there are people who are low earners? What are you even saying? No one is demanding everyone be higher earners.

I was just stating it’s patently false to claim that on average women are better off in terms of average income than men.

And also that if you want to have a family with a man you certainly don’t need to accept they are working 7 days a week for their family business while earning a pittance and contributing nothing to finances, housework or childcare.

Only a desperate woman would put up with that.

There are many better alternatives such as finding a man who is not a low earner and contributes to family life, finances, childcare and housework.

And failing that - staying single or only casually dating and not entertaining a family or blending your life with a useless man. We don’t need to accept bottom barrel men.

@Notagaiin And failing that - staying single or only casually dating and not entertaining a family or blending your life with a useless man. We don’t need to accept bottom barrel men.

Should women on low incomes also be shuned?

Really isnt the case. OP needs legal advice on this to get rid of him, but no judge would give him rights to live there over the landlords family.