To really dread weekends?

[frillonit]

Is this normal lol

two little kids (2 and 5) never know what to do with them or how to fill the time. Everywhere is busy and expensive. But if you stay home it’s awful.

I totally get you, Op. The working week became a thing because people couldn't bear their lives if it was all hardship. The weekend, which was designed to be time to relax, is actually the most painful part of the week for you because there are less activities/distractions available. You are dead right to dread the weekend and it's a sorry state of affairs that you are in this position. Childcare is the hardest job I'll ever do. I have a partner to shoulder some of it so I can't even imagine just how hard it is for you.
All of these activity solutions are unhelpful. My dd won't do anything the easy way so I completely empathise.
You're going through a really shit phase of life. It's pure drudgery spliced with some nice moments here and there. You don't need advice, you need a break!
Focus on bedtime and try to plan something nice for yourself once it's achieved. Get a takeaway, open a bottle of wine, watch something you've been meaning to watch.
The day will come when your weekends will mean an actual break xxx

My children are of similar ages. Last weekend we did the park & had dinner out on Saturday, Sunday we had more of a chilled at home day, but made some flapjacks.
This weekend is softplay today, community event tomorrow and then family visiting in the afternoon.
Don't overthink it, and despite what you see on SM most people aren't going to the zoo/waterpark/beach etc every weekend.

Thanks @Grammarninja . a takeaway is an excellent plan! Everyone is suggesting activities and thank you but it isn’t really that.

I’m “lucky” in that mine will play and entertain themselves… but that usually results in screaming matches every 5-10 minutes because someone isn’t playing properly or is being annoying or not listening…
The 3 year old is currently crying hysterically because she got told off for shouting in her sister’s face. Been 10 mins of screaming so far 🫠

Of course it's not about activities! You're trying to get through the weekend, feeling like a good mum, and also eke out some r&r for yourself so that you can meet the working week with some new-found energy.
It's so hard! We're not all Maria Von Trapp (sound of music) who just love every minute of 'enjoying' kids!
I've found that you have to just get through the day and then try to enjoy the small stuff, like a bath/ hair mask/clean pyjamas/paint your own nails, get some sleep.
One weird bit of advice, and I don't know if it will resonate, but I started playing games with my 2-year-old that involved teaching her to read (purely as a distraction) which involves putting flashcards on the wall and asking her to get me certain words. She runs the length of the room a lot and I get to sit in on the couch watching something. Just an idea but only lasts about 20 mins.

To be fair I did say I never know what to do with them … should have qualified with ‘that isn’t mind numbing for me!’

Yeah, that's where I'm at hence teaching a 2-year-old to recognise sight words even though my mum says I'm making a rod for my back when she's bored at school. Anything to get through!

It's all about the alleviating of intense boredom and sisyphean tasks!

And not have to wander endlessly outdoors!

We used to walk ours to the nearest station or spot where you could see the trains coming. Ikea was quite good for a play in the children s area and cheapish lunch, they liked testing the chairs!
Meetups with friends, picnics ( even if the smallest doesn’t eat, they can still play with the other kids). Walk every where you can, or go by public transport, it’s always more interesting for DC than the car.

Yes. Some posters here would definitely have got on well with my dad … he was obsessed with walking. I don’t share this passion I am afraid!

Can you get them painting/colouring in/drawing? That used to occupy me for hours.

Also audio recordings of kids' books? So you're not having to parent actively, but they're still being entertained (and ideally nor staring at a screen)

My five year old will listen a bit but the two year old isn’t there yet. They aren’t massively into colouring etc, the two year old more so.

The park is your friend - play park/football/bikes/scooters. Also walks that have a nature trail or play trail - Box hill and Alice Holt have them. Or woodland walk to make a den and get leaves and sticks for a collage. On rainy days swimming isn’t that expensive. Baking and craft at home. Also divide and conquer, so do different things with one DC each.

This and the few years after was the golden age for me - single parent, dc with 3y3m age gap and it was while they still got on a small amount of the time, before all the bickering started. They are teenagers now and it’s hell going anywhere with both of them. For me I often did what I fancied and kids tagged along as a pp has said, or suited the older and the little one tags along. What I did still do was use a buggy at that age. Dd2 could get in if tired of walking on longer trips and at least it was somewhere to put all the stuff even if the dc never got in it.

Picnics - what do you mean they don’t eat picnics? don’t like sandwiches? Neither do mine, I’d bring rice cakes, chicken goujons, breadsticks or toasted pitta and hummus to dip, crackers and cheese, tub of leftover pesto pasta etc. Or do they not eat outside? (Could probably be solved by sitting and eating with dd5 and ignoring protests)

Trips to ikea are one of the things that have stood the test of time and we still love now - super cheap breakfast/lunch. Long wander round, super cheap ice cream on the way out - never gets old 😆.

Lazy mornings can be filled with some pre prepped snacks and some tv- absolutely not a problem

soft play has its place but agree annual passes for localish attractions are great and mean you can pop to the zoo/farm/play centre for a couple of hours and a packed (not picnic) lunch rather than feel the need to make it a big all day outing. I do struggle to understand people who talk about it being so hard/being in the trenches etc (and my youngest was a nightmare 😅)

Before I opened this thread I said to myself “she’s got young kids”, very normal! Doesn’t last forever I promise!

@liveforsummer DD’s diet is very restrictive. She will only eat a very small selection of food I make and won’t eat snack food at all. So picnics are kind of out. But honestly - I think it obviously works for a lot of people but personally I don’t really want to spend the whole weekend trudging around.

Thanks @yoshigizzit

’Aimless’ walks with toddlers has led to us having a 12 year old, 11 year old and 7 year old who climbed Snowdon with us at Easter! Depends what you’re into though, definitely. We love going for a long hike in the Peak District followed by a pub dinner at the weekends.

So what it boils down to really is that you want your weekends to be child free, until they’re old enough to do stuff you enjoy?

They don’t, at least not as a rule. It’s more tiredness and relentless would be my words.

I haven’t pushed back intentionally. I really am sorry if that’s how it comes over, I just can’t pretend that spending the weekend walking is a prospect that fills me with joy. Tbh, I hate going for walks. I’ve always found it dull and a bit pointless.

A lot of other suggestions are already in place if you like.

It is my fault and I phrased it badly. But I honestly do get a sense of dread at midday Friday about the upcoming two days and relief on Sunday night. I wasn’t so much looking for ‘tell me what to do’ as ‘are there others out there like me?!’ (And the answer does appear to be yes, even if the majority of parents here barely even notice they have a two year old and a four year old because life is continuing much as it ever did!)

You know what, sometimes yes. Sometimes I would like a child free weekend or at least a day. That doesn’t make me a bad person, although the way you’ve phrased this does suggest that you think it does. I’d like to sleep late, go to bed late, have a nap, shop, meet friends for lunch, explore somewhere new.

But that’s all a while off yet, and in the meantime yes, I’m deeply immersed in this world of swimming lessons and parks and walks to see the ducks and sometimes farms and soft play and role play cafes and adventure playgrounds and kids’ parties. It isn’t that I mind those things, it’s the fact I never get a break from them to be able to do the things in my first paragraph that can make you feel a bit … flat I suppose and difficult to feign enthusiasm on here anyway.

It’s a shame if that annoys people but it just is how it is at the moment.

I don’t think it’s so much that ‘life continues as it her did’ for most, it certainly wasn’t the case when my 3 were under 5. It was a case however of ‘I’ve got 3 kids under 5 so life obviously isn’t going to be about chilling out on the sofa at weekends and I wouldn’t expect it to be’. You either embrace it, or you count down to the seconds until they’re old enough to leave you to chill on the sofa at weekends. One of those options leads to insanity in my opinion!

It does depend on what you’re into. I’m sorry as I do feel I am repeating myself a lot but just walking around with very young children isn’t something I find enjoyable or interesting.

No, I absolutely didn’t phrase it in a way that was intended to make you look like a bad person. It’s perfectly normal to want some child free time. But as you say, that’s a while away yet. So it is what it is.