To really dread weekends?

[frillonit]

Is this normal lol

two little kids (2 and 5) never know what to do with them or how to fill the time. Everywhere is busy and expensive. But if you stay home it’s awful.

I hate the way people with a husband say “it would probably be easier to be a single parent !” I tell you now IT ISN’T! So don’t expect sympathy when you say things like that.
You seem to be in a negative spiral about all the things you can’t or won’t do or th kids can’t or won’t do. Make a big list- keep it on your phone for when you have run out of ideas. Also set some boundaries : if they wake up early say it is too early go back to bed for half an hour and if they can’t then they can sit quietly in their room until you are ready to get up and play with something. I’m sure you tell them when it’s bedtime so you need to tell them when it’s getting up time too.
also, it is boring. It just is. But find some people. Keep the 2year old in a pushchair sometimes so you only have to manage one running off. Etc

Totally

3yrs ago happily married

been a single mum over 2yrs now. It’s hard. Very hard and tbh I have a very good dd so can’t complain about her.

But it’s the fact it all comes down to me. And she only has me to look after and care for her and I do worry what if something happens to me

work is hard to fit around her and I’m so lucky to have some amazing friends and family who help me bit it’s all down to me

i had single parent friends when married and I didn’t prob appreciate how hard life is for them

Parks and playgrounds are free. Take them cycling/scootering, have a picnic, play a ball game, play at the playground, blow some bubbles, visit the local duck pond and feed the ducks. They're actually at an age where they should be quite easily entertained. If it rains of course, you're buggered 😄

I’m sorry to hear this. I remember seeing your wedding photo with mini blonde. You won’t be going anywhere, It’s a terrible worry for single parents, a heavy load. 💐

@NK5dcb6781X120111a0db9 well, to be fair there are numerous, hundreds, thousands of posts on here saying that it’s easier to be a single parent than to be married to a partner who makes life harder. I don’t know because I’ve never been a single parent of course so I can take your word for it but I don’t think there’s any need to jump down my throat in that way, tbh.

If I say to my 5 yo go back to bed for a bit, he will. If I say it to my 2 yo, she won’t. It’s an age thing, they aren’t being naughty or ignoring boundaries, but those boundaries have to be realistic and it isn’t realistic for a two year old to lie in bed for half an hour waiting for me to wake up. (I wish it was!)

I don’t need ideas thanks, we’re good for ideas.

I think I found reducing my expectations to be doing something that always spending money, being somewhere or doing the content search for making experience and amazing memories and just doing something normal with the kids

a walk to the post office, a drive to a drive through, a bike ride, sweeping the garden, watering the plants, collecting stones, just getting fresh air, kicking a ball around, watching a movie, painting, drawing doing a board game.
there are sooo many things to do that don’t cost much at all and I find the simple things the kids really enjoy.

OP, if what you really need is a break and some adult time for yourself then have you tried posting on local facebook groups? I'm unfortunately many miles from you, but in our area there are charities that run respite events for unpaid carers (which it sounds like you are?) and there are also 2 free, good quality creches for 0-5 year olds where you can have a coffee in peace while they DC are looked after by professionals with heaps of toys and garden areas. I wonder whether things like this might be available in your local area too? I wouldn't know about the ones local to us without local social media, and not everyone does know about them so maybe worth hunting around?

I’m a single parent and although I know that’s not exactly your situation, I think the key is company. So I either try to arrange to meet someone, or I try to chat to another parent at the park/library etc, or I go to some organised event. Like today I went to a family stay and play and tomorrow I’ve got tickets to a kids event at the southbank centre.

I realise easier said than done, but worth thinking about how you can build more social connections into your weekend as tbh that sounds like the problem rather than ideas for activities.

@frillonitI find people massively forget what 1.5-2.5 is actually like. Mine is a beautiful glorious advanced child who I love spending time with. She’s also ducking exhausting. All this ‘oh just stick the TV on’… seriously? Do you actually remember 2? Did you just have quite an easily lulled child? Mine will watch for less than an episode of Bluey before starting to throw her toys around and climb all over me and put her fingers in my face. It’s maximum 20mins entertainment from a full 14hr day. You use that to get to the first activity of the day (the time between wake up and anything opening can be brutal) and then okay - swimming, hour and a half. Farm/National Trust visit, about the same. That takes you to nap time. Then they wake up and you have another 6 hours to fill. It’s very very hard work! 2 year olds don’t just entertain themselves quietly by themselves. They constantly need your attention and entertaining. People don’t remember. Stickers! You mention them. Mine loves them. But she can’t and doesn’t want to do them alone. Again, it’s half an hour’s very hands on entertainment. It barely fills the day and it’s no where near a rest. I can’t even imagine with two.

💓

I used to love lazy weekends with the children at this age.

We’d get up and loll around in our pyjamas….. get as many toys out as they wanted and just let them have fun. We were very fortunate that our kids enjoyed each other’s company though and they loved playing with toys and creating games together so they would keep each other entertained for hours on end!

It sounds like you have a different dynamic between your two chikdren though which obviously makes jt more challenging for you. What sort of different interests do they have?

Monday-Friday was always quite manic for them due to being in childcare so weekends were always our downtime. We would always try and have an activity planned for Sundays but Saturdays were generally just fkr playing in the house or the garden.

Do your children generally get on with each other or do you feel that some of the need to do lots of activities with them is because they create tension in the home when they have nothing to focus on except each other?

My chikdren are a lot older now and so want to be on the go or doing something all the time and I miss the days when they were younger so much where a day at home with jigsaws, paint, Lego and board games was all they needed.

As many other posters have said though….. definitely utilise screen time though to get some time to yourself!! It won’t do them any harm

I loved this time with my son! Reading books, letting them play with toys on the carpet. Get baking some simple biscuits. It doesn’t have to be perfect or Instagram worthy. Show them how to entertain themselves, enjoy drawing a picture or flicking through pictures in your magazine. Kids need to be shown it’s ok to be peaceful. I don’t know why we are conditioned these days to think if it’s not high octaine days out, it’s not good parenting. Enjoy teaching them to ride a scooter, walk down the lane etc picking dandelions.

Haven't read the full thread, but do your kids have bikes/balance bikes? Once they have a bit of confidence on 2 wheels pump tracks are brilliant for killing an hour or 2. Depending on where you are there can be loads, it's worth googling and having a look at the pictures to see how big the track/bumps are as some are more gentle and others a bit more advanced, but many/most will have a couple of different route options for different rider levels.

They're great because it's not usually a massive area, so it's easy to keep an eye on both at once, and they're more contained than just 'going for a bike ride'. My 6yo has been going to pump tracks since he could cruise a balance bike (2) and is now doing bmx racing!

My answer to this has always been to meet up with friends with similar aged children. That way the kids can play and we can supervise/chat and drink coffee. It really does make parenting so much more bearble!

We are a home ed family so I don’t know if that changes dynamics slightly, as we have 7days per week together instead of a weekend of no nursery/school, but my kiddos are always happy to just potter around on the weekends. Playing in the garden, reading, helping at the allotment or long walks/bike rides with the dog is more than enough for them. I have 2 under 5s and an older kiddo, they all enjoy chilling out after a busy week. If we do soft play, zoo, museums etc it is always planned in to our weekdays so weekends are for relaxing together.

I guess it really depends on the children, but our current routine is to do the weekly reset (sort the childminding bags, food shop, prep lunches and clothes for the week) while my husband entertains the toddler. Then we do a combination of the following:

Swimming.
Trampoline park (toddler session).
Odeon kids cinema (£5 per ticket).
Local parks with scooter.
Bigger parks in town (ice cream, walking etc.).
Breakfast at supermarket cafes (often do free kids meals with an adult one) / shopping.
Playtime at home.
Baking / art at home.
Paddling pool / sandpit etc. in garden if the weather is good (looks like it will be, soon and Aldi had some great pools recently for £3.99).

We've got annual memberships at some local places like Tattenhall Ice Cream Farm, Hoo Zoo, Alton Towers and the passes really aren't too expensive if going regularly.

DH and I sometimes take turns doing an activity with the kids on a Sunday (e.g. swimming) for a few hours, so we each get a break every fortnight.

Tbh we try to avoid enclosed places like soft plays as they're so busy at the weekend, but my DC would happily spend hours in the paddling pool or walking around a woodland - we do activities like making rainbows from different coloured leaves etc. or 'hunting for fairies' to keep it interesting, and we get to have a coffee while DC runs around.

It’s a hard phase this was my weekend life when mine were that age, I did also have PJs on TV days and pop a film on.

Buy them some play doh, (or make it) crafts, building wooden train tracks, rainy day walk, scooters, bike rides, bake cakes, local parks.

We had dogs as well so lots of dog walks in the woods and collecting stuff for the craft box and just busy days.

Move sofas or beds round and build dens with blankets sit and read books and get some coloring in books.

Honestly I could keep writing lists of cheap stuff to do with that age, I always avoided the play zones and inside stuff as well it’s all a bit manic.

What about swimming? Do you have anywhere that’s adorable near you? I used to find that was almost a whole day, with the obligatory chips after the swim.

It also doesn’t help that it’s a grey day, well it is here in Hampshire, always easier when the suns out!

Try different national trust places bit of of area to fill time. Any parks maybe further away with ducks or just different equipment. Swimming?
used to do 3 parks in one day as single mum with toddler couldnt bear be indoors. Was much later diagnosed with adhd which made sense.

Any supermarkets near you have kids trolleys? Lidls and waitrose do. Can waste an hour with them racing around with a list of apples and crisps to put in trolley

I’m with you. I think what you’re finding is the age gap is really showing at the moment. You can’t take the 2yo to the same place (or for as long) as the 5yo.

I’m in the same boat, my nearly 2yo has no fear, full of energy but no fear or awareness of danger. Whereas my 4.5 yo would happily go anywhere and spend the whole day there.

for example a nice walk would result in my youngest running to the nearest river, picking up a load of brambles and running so fast they fall over - then I have to struggle to get them into the pram which will result in a long screaming session. Whereas my eldest would happily follow me and enjoy the occasion.

it’s the age gap, they’re at different stages and into different things. It’ll pass.

I don’t dread the weekends as such but it is hard finding something they both can do without it becoming a huge stress.

Sending solidarity!

I didn’t want to read and run and I haven’t read all of the posts yet but I felt compelled to reach out OP and say, I remember this feeling so very well - you really are in the thick of it. I, at one time, had a 5 year old and 2 year old (2.5 years between them) and it was incredibly full on. Things that helped us make it through were getting out every single weekend morning first thing before everywhere got too busy. I found planning/thinking overwhelming so I had a four weekly rotation list on my phone of somewhere to go on Saturday morning and somewhere to go on Sunday morning, changing each week. Sometimes just the ducks at the park, sometimes a longer morning out at a farm etc. Some of my favourite places were the smaller play cafes/imaginative role play type places rather than bigger soft play because firstly they were a bit cheaper but secondly they could potter around a bit themselves as it was self contained and I could see them. There was one which was my favourite because the parents sat in the middle with coffee and the kids could potter round in the little rooms/shops around the edge. We went out, whether I felt like it or not because I knew if I stayed in we would be climbing the walls by the afternoon. Then they would be tired when we got home and so for the afternoon we would put out duvets and blankets on the floor in the living room and have a TV afternoon. They called it the “big bed”. Quite often they would also bring their toys and play on the big bed but it meant I could parent horizontally and they would just play/watch TV quite contentedly after a morning out. I have no advice on the early morning wake ups though, only that it does get better. Mine are now 10 and 8 and after years of getting up between 5-6am every day, they now love a long lie in till 8-9ish! By which time you may have well forgotten the hardships of the trenches you are currently in and have a third so you can do it all over again…or perhaps that’s just me! Anyway, I just wanted to say, these ages are VERY VERY hard, it’s relentless, it’s exhausting and better days are coming 💐

YANBU at all - I remember this feeling! Mine are now 11, 13, 14 and weekends are great, older ones might even bring me a cuppa in bed on Saturday. I can’t remember when it changed from tedious to fun and obviously it wasn’t overnight but hang in there!

I’m the same and it’s even worse on school holidays. I can think of a bunch of things to do that cost a heap of money but cheap or free things boggle my mind.
I actually find it really helpful to organise activities with another mum and kids. It motivates me to do the activity and be happy about it. But also keeps the kids more entertained.

My kids are older now, but I remember this stage (and it is a stage, if that helps at all). It can be tough. Like you I remember most friends had family time at weekends, so it was more just us.

Things that helped below. (No silver bullets though.)

• me and the usband giving each other breaks. E.g. one do a park trip, so other could do whatever we wanted.
• getting outside in the morning. Always found being out easier than being at home and if we went out earlier they tended to be more settled later at home to do their own thing. The reverse morning at home, out afternoon didn't work so well.
• memberships e.g NT helped keep costs down of getting out. I used to ask for them as presents.
• make the most of the fact that young kids enjoy simple things e.g. ducks at the park, playing in a stream. May seem a bit tedious to adults, but they're so curious at that age. Not saying we never did soft plays, farms etc, but I don't think you have to default to paid for stuff to entertain.
• have some activities e.g.baking, craft set, orchard toys game in your back pocket for when you're at home. Five Minute Mum.is brilliant for this. If they're happy pootling and doing their thing I'd leave them to it, but useful to have an idea. Doing stuff like this together always made us feel more connected too behaviour was better.

This would normally get us to tea and TV. Some days more successfully than others admittedly.

Early years are tough xx