To really dread weekends?

[frillonit]

Is this normal lol

two little kids (2 and 5) never know what to do with them or how to fill the time. Everywhere is busy and expensive. But if you stay home it’s awful.

I think this is something to bear in mind too. Too often nowadays we put so much pressure on ourselves that weekends must now be completely child centric and full of activities geared towards them that it causes a lot of unnecessary pressure.

I have happy memories of going to MFI with my parents and me and my siblings getting excited about the bedroom furniture. We forget that actually kids like things that might seem totally mundane too!

Do you have to entertain them endlessly every weekend? Why put this pressure on yourself! Is the older one capable of entertaining his/herself at home? Colouring in, Saturday comic, trip to the newsagent to buy a Saturday morning treat, be a sweet or a comic, playing, using imagination?

What about your family, any way can break the day up for a cuppa with grandma? Only an hour or so, but breaks up the day. I take it dads at home? Surely he can take over a bit so you can have an hour or two to yourself and offer him the same.

You say your friends spend weekends as a family unit but have you actually asked them if they want to meet a weekend or put a date in the diary to meet up.

I think there's an assumption that all weekends have to be family time and no ones to socialise outwith that but I've found if you reach out, people are always happy to meet up. Most families I know would go loopy spending 52 weekends a year only in their family unit. Practically everyone I know is happy for a play date to be arranged to keep their kids entertained and to get some adult company too!

So - should I ignore them in the house all weekend? That’s not realistic with children this age, they do need some structure and entertainment, even exceptionally well behaved and precocious children need some adult input. That might be realistic in 3 years say when they are 5/6 and 8/9. But right now that’s where we are. My youngest has a sticker book now but still needs me to help her.

Sounds like you already have good structure then.

Definitely the lack of adult company that's the problem. Any extended family around? If not, I would be honest with a close friend or two that it can get lonely and ask if you can put a whole-family meetup or two in the diary. I don't think that most people are all that desperate to spend every single weekend on their own, in their own family unit. Particularly if they happen to have an only child of around your son's age. Worth a go?

I don’t really have any extended family 😭 one brother but he’s nocturnal generally and makes life harder. Then any friends are doing their own thing. Occasionally might organise something but it’s not regular.

Where is the children's father in all this? Is he around to help at weekends?

And you've mentioned about friends. Have you taken the initiative to contact them and reach out or do you wait for them to arrange something?

Would any of your eldests friends from preschool/nursery/school parents want to meet up for play dates? Maybe ask them if you see them at pick up?
It's hard. It does get easier once in school to make mum friends.

Weekend mornings were either cuddles in bed or making pancakes and watching tv (as a treat) whilst I drank tea and mumsnetted. then garden, trampoline or pop out, garden centres are great for kids, some pick your own strawberries when weather is nice.

daytime cinema is great, feels like a day out, Odeon do cheap morning shows on a weekend, also “swimming” where they get to muck about ratter than swim is fairly cheap.

Now my DC’s are older my role is literally finance and logistics

When mine were that age I rarely went anywhere that cost money because I didn’t have any. Local parks, a drive to the countryside or coast. Different landmarks that were free. And that was it really.

I think there are lots of cheap things you could do in the garden that don't involve a trip to the garden centre. My dnephew has always loved to dig so he is allowed a section of the garden to dig away at. Yours could make a bug hotel out of sticks/pinecones/old bricks. Loads of inspiration on Pinterest. A packet of seeds. grow tallest sunflowers etc. Chalk drawing on patio, paintbrushes and water to paint esp on a sunny day. Mine loved a cheap water table when they were this age. Also a length of old guttering and roll toy cars or ping pong balls down it. Attach pipes, piece of old hose and jugs, plastic bottles to a fence or piece of trellis to pour water down. The only real limit is your own imagination. A mud kitchen? paint murals on your fence. Get old wall paper and they can paint on the back (outside). They could do footprints or handprints or you could cut shapes out of potatoes too for stamps. flicking paint at paper makes nice pictures. etc etc. It is hard entertaining kids that age but I don't think it needs to be expensive tbh. Even lollies/icecreams when you're out just pop to tesco and but a cheap 4 pack rather than from cafe or ice cream van.

I have a 4 year old and 4 month old and also dread the weekends - have done since my oldest turned 18 months and the tantrums started tbh. Felt bad saying it at first but not any more - who would enjoy being shouted at, followed everywhere, jumped on, their house trashed, cooking food which isnt eaten & spending meal times cajoling a grumpy child to eat something and sit down x 30865556. Not to mention doing this sleep deprived at the same time as getting housework and life admin done, doing constant nap maths (4 year old obvs doesnt nap any more but will fall asleep in the car any time post midday so cant go anywhere after that time unless you want him up til 10pm), dealing with a grumpy husband, and seeing everyone else's photos of their amazing weekends on insta. Def not just you!

Mine used to love assembling flat pack furniture 🤷‍♀️🤣 sorting the bits into different pots. helping hammer in nails on back of bookcases. putting a single bed together.

Why does not having to entertain them all weekend now equate ignoring them all weekend?!

Changing your mindset will help. The dread of your feelings is spoiling your weekend, you’ve had plenty of ideas on here, there is 1000’s of videos online with tips for entertaining little kids indoors, they’re here, they’re at that age, the best thing to do is get on with it.. take on some of the tips/advice shared. Poor a bag of flour and let them do finger drawing.
They’re only young very a very short time.
Suck it up.

OK, so we’re not understanding one another very well so tell me how my weekend should look, bearing in mind how old my children are.

Thank you!!

It is hard and relentless and boring when they are little, especially if it's just you.

Let them watch Cbeebies and play while ypu have a tea/coffee

Mine loved the bus or train, like PP said they quote like doing the same things, parls etc or evrn going to a different park.
I would recommend junior parkrun or joining a family friendly church/place of worship.

You sound a bit low OP. Might it be worth talking to the GP?

any friends who don’t have DC? I don’t and my friends who have, drifted away from me as they all want to hang out with people with DC
but I am perfectly happy to hang out with people with children at the weekend if they’re off doing something and have a catch up/herd toddlers etc - people just don’t THINK I am

I’m ok honestly It is really more the length of time things take at this age. For instance I have been up since 6, swimming wasn’t until 9 (setting off at 830) so that’s two and a half hours of watching CBeebies … yes for a bit but then they get bored and they’ll play a bit but … It’s normal, of course it is. But nothing is a solution to the whole weekend!

I mean this in the nicest possible way:
However boring these days are, try to treasure them. The time you have with your small children is so fleeting. I have two wonderful teenagers whose every crumb of time I crave; I would saw off a leg to have a weekend with them at 2 and 5. I say this while remembering it was a tiring grind at times. Here are some of the things I thought up to do when I'd run out of ideas in case they are helpful:
Turn a table on its side and drape a sheet over the legs: it's a theatre for teddies
Imagine the stairs are a mountain tgat all of the toys have to climb in a snow storm
Dress up in stripes and pretend the three of you are pirates; each bed is a galleon to be taken
Cover the kitchen floor in a tarpaulin and do body painting (having a bowl of soapy water and towels at the ready is helpful)
Create a l8brary at home: stick a sheet of paper on the first page of every book and sign them in and out, arrange them in categories/colours
Do a nature walk where you each have to find something a different colour of the rainbow (the magic of finding an indigo beetle was one of my best memories of that time)
To reiterate, i am not diminishing the fact that it's hard work, and easy to look bacj through rosy glasses, but hindsight can be a painful thing x

My kids are 3 and 6… I feel this every weekend, you’re not alone!

Thanks @Leapintothelightning . I’ll treasure them when I’m well out of the other side 😂

Just take them on a walk, works wonders.

I was going to suggest National Trust membership but you already have that - we wore ours out pretty much with DD. They do so much stuff for kids and you get your membership back twice over if you really make the most of it.

Free stuff I did when dd was little - couldn't afford Peppa Pig World so I made one of our own in the living room. Every single Peppa pig themed thing we had in the house laid out and then a brown towel with plastic vegetables on it and a plastic spade for Grandpa pig's vegetable patch - she absolutely loved it!!!

Put out a big blue sheet on the floor with two cushions in the middle for a 'boat', then put all her fish themed bath toys around it - pretended it was the ocean and she and her friend played row row row your boat on it - loved it.

Had a great big box left over after a washing machine delivery and I cut a window out of it and made it into an ice cream shop where she could sell ice creams to people - just covered in it paper, wrote ice cream shop at the top and stuck photos of lollies on it that I printed off the internet. Made ice cream cones out of paper with different coloured paper scrunched into balls for the ice cream.

All of these things cost £0. We were on the absolute bones of our arse when DD was small, so had to be creative.