To really dread weekends?

[frillonit]

Is this normal lol

two little kids (2 and 5) never know what to do with them or how to fill the time. Everywhere is busy and expensive. But if you stay home it’s awful.

Sounds like you're near me. Ashby lido has opened if they like swimming.
How about cycling / balance bikes in the national forest? Pottery painting at Staunton Harold? Playground at the reservoir?
I really do believe in getting in the kids outdoors as much as possible.

We never did “normal” family days out when my DC were 5 and 2 as my eldest has SEN and just couldn’t cope with big trips out.

We basically just made the house very child focused - dens in the lounge, making assault courses, a little play house in the kitchen. We had a disco light for “parties” at home.

We also did endless little walks which were just pottering around the local area looking for bugs, splashing in puddles.

In the summer we had a paddling pool with a little water fountain and water toys - that filled hours of time!

It’s a tough age combination and things will get more chilled in a couple of years.

Do people really do this any more?

Songs of praise every week is just full of ancient people who survived the war. The boer war. Our local village church has long lost the scouts, cubs, brownies... It's just all U3A, flower arranging club, and meals on wheels HQ. Even the vicar is ancient. I don't think I've seen anyone under 18 there, ever, and the only people under 75 are those getting married.

some quite twee responses here! Never found national trust that absorbing at that age to be honest.

when DD was younger we had a day out that she declared the best day ever. It was lunch at Greggs and then pretend sofa shopping at DFS (we tried out all of the sofas across two massive floors).

I think OP you need to let go of the idea that weekends are for chilling and slobbing and vegging out. Those days are long gone and you need to make the most of where you are now. It’s different, yes, and it can be hard, but there’s thousands of parents up and down the country who get it, get how tiring it is, and come up with ideas to make it work and you are seeming very resistant to any suggestions at the minute. No one’s got a magic wand or quick fix they can give you to get you your lazy weekends back!

Well all kids are different and all NT properties are different! Close to me (and the OP) is Sudbury Hall, which is a museum of childhood. It’s very absorbing for young kids. All the ones close to me have playgrounds, cafes etc, and mine all enjoyed walks in the woodland etc as toddlers. Just because your kids didn’t enjoy it, doesn’t make it ‘twee’.

I find if I clean then the DC leave me alone and if they leave me alone I stick in my earphones and listen to an audiobook

Everyone is different but little ones are exhausting! I’m afraid, OP, this is life now (for a while) and it is relentless!

Plenty of great advice on here. Your children are no different to anyone else’s and it is hard. It’s not always going to be like this.

The library is your friend here, trust me!

What do you do in the library? I know obvious reading but mine can’t read yet and definitely wouldn’t sit and have me read to them. (We do actually read a lot, just not in the library.)

Thanks. It isn’t that weekends are for chilling, it’s just that for me personally they are a lot harder than the week so that’s why I dread them. It’s also very very lonely.

Most uk library have activities for children at library’s, especially during school holidays.
For example I can see Derby library has kids story time events, craft events, stem kids tech events all just in the next few weeks.
Ideal for your 5 year old soon. You can generally take older child and then play and read with younger one nearby.

Most libraries also have casual craft areas, or duplo or just loads of books for each age so they can just browse for an hour. There will
be lots of touchy feely type books for 2 year old. The story times are usually about 45mins and ingaging for toddlers with puppets and movement

I think most 2 and 5 year olds are the same as yours. Mine at 2 literally would not sit still, and still doenst tbh now. But at 2 I would just take pram or back sling and walk them as much as possible, then into pram when they gave up. You can usually hook balance bike easily to pram or underneath so only letting them use in safe park areas away from cars.

Ikea is ideal in winter. It’s massive, and dry during cold rain to wear them out. You can wander around with trolley to put them in when needed, but a walk wears them out, most they have a play area for free with cafe next door so you can sit with book and coffee and they go wild for free in view. Kids food there is cheap and they do ice cream for about £1 ( bribe them to leave). The hour drive there and back, and you have passed a good few hours.

baking (get them decorating cupcakes)
at home cinema (duvets, snacks)
buy a load of shaving foam and chuck it in bowls and let them go wild (when they’re old enough to not eat it)
bath with toys and music
walks with flasks of hot drinks or fruit juice
TV for them while I reset with a coffee
involve them in day to day stuff - shopping, folding laundry, charity shop trips
family lego sessions (everyone make a robot for eg)
reading
free museums or galleries
get child safety plastic knives and get them helping with their lunch - cutting up carrot sticks, buttering bread etc
bus into town
events at local library

Not at the weekend though @Caspianberg . There’s a couple of rhyme time activities during the week but not on days I don’t work. Those days aren’t the problems though.

Ikea is very busy and has numerous places to get lost in.

I can see there are a lot of suggestions and I’m not wishing to sound ungrateful but I do do these things, as I’ve tried to explain. But it feels like a very long, lonely, relentless two days. Sorry if people don’t like that but that’s the reality.

You’re definitely being OTT!
You don’t need to take all that out with you 🤣
If you go to a big area it won’t be overly busy!
My 3 lived in wellies and all in one suits when little and we were out on the beach and in parks all weathers!

@frillonit are you a single parent? If so then you likely have a very different experience to lots of people here. It’s hard being on your own all the time.

I would add some structure to the days because it’s the mental load of thinking about it and planning that’s hard. Eg Saturday swimming in the morning, home, go out for a walk and pick up a treat for after lunch, home for lunch and naps, game or craft with older DC while little one naps, then out to the park (take drink and snack with you), home for movie night. Sunday go further afield, take lunch (get a food flask if they don’t like picnic food can take beans etc) home for lunch, play with toys then movie and dinner.

If you are solo then I’d really recommend trying to find others in the same boat to share the load with. And if you have any local family try to plan to eg go to theirs for Sunday lunch or similar.

Could you invite another family over for a couple of hours? Afternoon family play date?! The children would presumably love bumbling around together. If it’s awful don’t do it again!

It's horrendous. If you like reading i recommend Nightbitch - you'll emphathise!!

I agree with others Saturday morning - get a Disney film on and enjoy a leisurely Saturday morning but plan something outside for the afternoon. Same on Sunday - do some crafts or something in morning and plan one thing outside in afternoon. Do you live near a city? Most have a museum or two that are free to enter and kids don't mind going again to the same places. Find a park you like that's got a cafe, so you can enjoy a drink a play park and somewhere to have a little walk in the woods etc.

It is hard when they are 2. But gets so much easier when your youngest reaches 4.

Well it’s not us who doesn’t like it, it’s you. The problem is on threads like this people will always try and help, it’s human nature really. If you just want to moan about how awful it all is it’s probably best to be clear in the OP that you’ve tried everything there is to try and therefore offering suggestions is pointless and unwelcome.

Ok. Having read it and my kids are similar 3/6 wild boys and definitely last year was harder than this year at 5/2. I think as you’re on your own what isn’t actually the issue is the weekend it’s that fact that you work all week and then have to be ‘on’ all weekend and don’t get a break. Where is the childrens father? Is there any contact at all?

my advice would echo a lot of others. The advice re an annual pass yes th initial outlay is expensive but you can just go for a few hours atc after that and you will find you use it loads.

re the going for a walk. What about taking bikes? You can get a handle to push the 2 year old along? Ditto scooter. Re pic nic. Just take what they would eat at home. Sho do good food flasks so if it’s chicken nuggets and waffle then take that.

keep a rucksack packed with essentials ready which makes things feel less overwhelming. So pair set of clothes for 2yo roll on suncream pack of wipes sanitisers emergency snack paracetamol etc. leave it all in there. Then it’s just packed lunch and drinks to add. A decent rucksack is a must.

at home let them watch the tv whilst you do your jobs. It’s going to be carnage. Accept it. I have to just shut the door on mine sometimes and let them crack on. In put my headphones in and start cooking tea. Some things have to be done.

can you reach out to anyone to babysit at all for a couple of hours once a Saturday once a month so you get a bit of a break?

Do you not have any single friends at all ?

or even those in partners , invite them over

when I was married I still met up with other mums without dh or sometimes all would go

I get single parenting is hard. Been one now for over 2yrs and it is relentless coming all down to you @frillonit

but friends make it so much easier. For you and kids

i said about doing a post on your local fb group. I see it many times people saying want to meet some mums with similar ages children

Thanks @RocketLollyPolly . I think we do have good structure and perhaps this is why people think I’m being negative. This morning is swimming then a park visit and then home for lunch and probably play in the garden. Tomorrow is a forest playgroup. So I do get out and do things: soft play and parks and national trust etc but it doesn’t stop it being monotonous and lonely. Of course that’s just life with little children and I do get that.

Totally get it - this stage passes though! Mine are 9 and 7 and I love the weekends now

My village church has some really good family friendly services. The first Sunday of the month they do a special one with puppets and there's pastries and drinks available after, my son loves it!

Ha! Yes, sometimes it's a countdown until Monday and I can get back to work for some down time! It does get better though. Mine are 5 and 8. They sleep longer and they go downstairs themasleves for 30 mins or so. Also better in summer as you can just spend the whole day outside.