To really dread weekends?

[frillonit]

Is this normal lol

two little kids (2 and 5) never know what to do with them or how to fill the time. Everywhere is busy and expensive. But if you stay home it’s awful.

I doubt that.
My first DC was a fabulous 2 years old, 2nd was a terror. It was hard work but it has to be done, it can be done with a smile or dread, your mindset is definitely damaging your relationship with the children, seeing them as a chore. Try reframing things, fake it until you make it.
It’ll get easier in time.
Have you seen a GP? Are you feeling down in other areas of your life. Any local fb support groups? Life can be isolating.
I hope you meet a good friend who will share these times with you.

There must be something they will eat that you can bung in a tub or food flask. Being able to eat while out doesn’t just facilitate walks but makes any day out significantly cheaper/easier. I’m also not a fan of regularly walking by the sake of it but walking to get somewhere/ do something fun is fine, gets fresh air in, kills time and as suggested a buggy can make it easier if you have a less keen walker

Well absolutely @WhereHasMyPlanetGone . Which is why I do these things and they are taken to places and events they’d enjoy. If I find them a tad dull and sometimes don’t feel rapturous enthusiasm on a Friday evening because the next day it’s swimming and the park and the day after it’s football and a party - that’s OK. It doesn’t mean they aren’t loved (on the contrary, doing something for someone else that you don’t enjoy yourself but they do is in some ways what love is all about.)

@liveforsummer were fixating a bit but no, there isn’t, and even if there was, I am not inclined to insist on a picnic on this cold chilly May to go for a walk no one including me wants to go on anyway

Really, so saying what it boils down to really is that you want your weekends to be child free, until they’re old enough to do stuff you enjoy was meant to be kind and supportive? No it wasn’t. That’s fine, but let’s be honest that the motivation was to be belligerent and hostile.

But I think that’s exactly what most people on this thread are saying, aren’t they? No, doing things aimed at toddlers isn’t something that most adults actively enjoyed. If they did, things like soft play and playgrounds would be aimed at adults, wouldn’t they? But that’s just life with young kids.

It was a neutral observation, based on your posts. Neither kind, nor hostile.
ETA and you agreed with me, so it was a factual observation!

Totally neutral, no judgement there whatsoever 😂

I often do long for them to grow up. My five year old is a lot easier at five than at two. That’s the thing; you can’t parent them any faster through the tricky stages. It will end but right now this is where we’re at.

I enjoyed taking mine to the park and soft play, and I was also a single parent. I find this thread really sad you seem so negative maybe you need to get help from the GP.

Is there not some compromise?

At the moment you hate parks and football

What would you like to do if you were child free?
Obviously you can’t spend the whole weekend having a lie in, but you could let them watch iPad in bed on Sundays with some dried cereal, whilst you relax in bed and read book with them an extra hour?

Or don’t go hiking expedition but couldn’t you wander to local cafe for a breakfast crossiant and coffee some weekends?

or let them go wild in garden with ice lollies from freezer whilst you have a glass of wine, paint nails and watch episode of something on iPad at garden table.

Key seems to try and get some other parents to join you at park or house so it’s a shared load sometimes

@Caspianberg i don’t think there is a compromise because they just aren’t old enough to understand that actually I would like to sleep past 6 every morning and that I took them to the park in the morning so now they have to let me read a book. It doesn’t work like that. One day it will of course.

I don’t ’hate’ the park and football, I just do get a bit tired and weary with everything which is a fairly normal feeling at this age and stage. You have a five year old boy (I think?) once in a blue moon I have a day with my five year old boy. It is like a holiday. Throw a two year old in the mix and it is not a holiday!

I’ve already stated that I’m not suggesting it for cold walks but to make fun days out cheaper and last a bit longer . I’d not fancy picnics in the rain either. I’m just honestly struggling to imagine a case where there is NOTHING a child can eat outside of the home. Sorry it seems like fixating This must be so restrictive for your 5 yo that you can only go out for max couple of hours at a time?! I work with dc with asn so no stranger to restrictive eating but in all the years I’ve done it there has never been a case where there is absolutely nothing they will eat in a packed lunch. (As the school meals are generally always refused in these cases)

That’s great @liveforsummer , it just isn’t something I’m very interested in. I’m sorry.

We can go out for longer than that. She just doesn’t eat. Her appetite isn’t the best generally to be fair but she eats well at nursery and is growing. I just can’t throw a picnic together as she wouldn’t eat it.

Not interested in what? Eating lunch? Having a fun day out at a museum or farm park without having to rush home to eat? Strange take and i can see why you’re struggling now!

My kids are 5 and 8 so I'm 3yrs on from you with the same age gaps.
I honestly live for the weekends and can't remember a time when I didn't. I have a very intense, stressful job with a lot of responsibility so weekends with my husband and children are the stuff of dreams. We tend to operate on one day out and one chilled day in apart from in the summer when we're out as much as possible. I'm also someone who loves holidays with mine though and have since they were born.
We do swimming, soft play, museums, play centres, parks, National Trust, eating out, trampolines, bikes/scooters, cinema (depends on nature of toddler), Crafts, games, farms, endless really. Not necessarily stuff we'd choose ourselves but our time with them when they're young is so short!

Reading through the posts and responses it sounds like what you need is a way to have a regular break. Could you book a babysitter one morning/day a month for you to do as you please?

How often do the kids see their Dad? Could he help more? I’m a single parent and find I get more time to myself now than when we were together as my child goes to his one day of the weekend.

OP I don’t mean this in a rude way but what did you expect life with young children to look like?

The reason I’m asking isn’t so I can have a dig at you, I think being on your own with them isn’t really helping with your feelings of relentlessness, but it’s so we can help you get your weekends to look more like that.

You honestly just sound exhausted and like you need a break. When did you last have an hour or two of me time? It’s important you do try and find ways to do this as it will refresh you so you can then be more present for your children when you’re with them. We all need a little break sometimes (that’s not at work) and it doesn’t make you a bad parent. Is there anyone you can ask to look after your children for an hour or so so you can do something for yourself? Is this something that happens regularly anyway? Even if it’s another mum and you can do the same another time for them.

Would it help you to meet other single parents? You can babysit each others children to give you both a break and do things together so you’re not so lonely.

Correct me if I’m wrong but OP has not confirmed that she is a single parent?!

She said it was just her with them.

I am not taking it as rude for a moment but by the same token no one should take ‘thank you but that doesn’t work for us’ as rude.

Well, for starters I didn’t expect to be doing it on my own. That aside, I knew what it would look like in theory but the reality is different. For example, I habitually wake early so in theory I didn’t mind being woken at 6. The reality - of not just waking but getting out of bed and being talked ag and demands fired at you the second you open your eyes (after already a poor nights sleep!) is different.

That isn’t saying they are bad children or even complaining about it. I’m honest that I don’t like it but also honest about the fact I know it will end and that’s OK. I don’t have to love every moment, is all.

I am pretty shattered at the moment. I’m not exactly a single parent - I’m dealing with a very unwell spouse though which is a different kind of pressure.

I thought it was obvious I meant walks, @liveforsummer . But clearly not.

It is just me, although I’m not quite a single parent. In some ways it would probably be easier! But chucking your H because they are infirm wasn’t in the vows! It is hard though. I’m hoping to get a proper break when they both start school although that has its own challenges too I know.

Ah now you mention the unwell spouse this is making more sense. You just sound exhausted and fed up and like you need a break. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your children. Again, is there any way you could carve in time for a regular break for just you? You sound like you need and deserve it.

For me I really enjoyed the ducks and park stage so can’t relate there but that’s not for everyone and I get that.

Lots of love to you and your spouse OP, I hope things get better for you soon.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this OP. Totally understandable to me (not a parent). I hope things pick up soon.

It wasnt obvious as id clearly said i wasnt talking about picnic on a rainy walk but facilitating a fun day out over lunch time 😅

Very few parents don’t love their children, even if we aren’t thrilled at the park or swimming lessons or reading or soft play.

I mean, a parent who didn’t love their child just wouldn’t give a shit so wouldn’t be exhausted.