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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to stop extra flexibility after my manager imposed office hours?

701 replies

LouuLou · 15/05/2026 13:02

I work in a small office team of five people. I’m the only full-time member of staff, everyone else is part time. We had a new manager start last year and honestly, up until now, things have been really good. We get on well, I like his management style and he has always said he cared more about people getting the work done than clock-watching.

I work very hard. I consistently hit targets, usually go beyond what is expected, and I won an achievement award last month. I also work very flexibly. I regularly start work at 7am, answer emails early, and will often still be available after 6pm. I usually work through lunch too. That flexibility has suited both the organisation and me because it means things get done quickly and I can also fit other parts of life around work. It is one of the things I am regularly complimented on - how quick I get tasks done.

Out of nowhere, he has now announced that I have to be physically in the office 9–5 three days a week. No actual problem has been identified, no concerns raised about my performance, no suggestion that work isn’t getting done. The explanation was basically that he “wants to try something different”.

Fine. He is the manager and he is entitled to set office hours if he wants to. I’m not arguing with that part.

But my feeling is that if he now wants strict contracted hours and presenteeism, then that is exactly what he will get. I no longer see the point in starting at 7am, replying to messages before work, being available into the evening or working through lunch. I’m planning to work my contracted hours, take a proper hour lunch break and log off at the end of the day.

I know this will reduce the amount I actually get done overall. But another part of me thinks flexibility works both ways. If management removes trust and autonomy, they can’t really expect staff to continue giving unpaid goodwill on top.

OP posts:
secon · 18/06/2026 19:29

You’re an inspiration OP. As someone who frequently burns out by doing too much for very little appreciation, I wish I could be you.

LouuLou · 18/06/2026 21:26

RandomMess · 18/06/2026 18:48

😆

Is he never going to admit he was wrong?

He hasn't so far, but he is showing it in other ways 😂

OP posts:
LouuLou · 18/06/2026 21:27

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/06/2026 19:02

and sends passive aggressive emails

🤯 But this is his choice!

Exactly.

It is making me laugh! His new different way of doing things 😂

OP posts:
LouuLou · 18/06/2026 21:28

rainbowstardrops · 18/06/2026 19:11

Go you! You’re doing what he asked, so who gives a shit about his passive remarks?! I wouldn’t!

I can live with the passive aggressive remarks!

He only gets breakfast with his DC at the weekend now as every morning he is dealing with the international calls!

OP posts:
NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/06/2026 21:53

I wonder why he doesn’t change it back? It must have come from his manager, and he can’t.

Are they still paying you the same?

LouuLou · 18/06/2026 22:31

secon · 18/06/2026 19:29

You’re an inspiration OP. As someone who frequently burns out by doing too much for very little appreciation, I wish I could be you.

I was the same as you literally a few weeks ago. OK my hand was forced by my manager but I have had to adapt by not giving so much of myself to work. My stress levels have come right down.

Believe me, it is not worth it. You are burning out by doing too much which is one thing but it is not even being appreciated. Please start to pull back slowly. It is a hard habit to break I know. You are worth more than this. Don't give the best of your life to work.

OP posts:
LouuLou · 18/06/2026 22:33

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/06/2026 21:53

I wonder why he doesn’t change it back? It must have come from his manager, and he can’t.

Are they still paying you the same?

He presented it as his idea but it could have come from higher up I guess.

Pay is the same. My contract didn't change.

OP posts:
Ohnobackagain · 18/06/2026 22:35

@LouuLou you said you sometimes cover for part time staff? I reckon he wants to see what the others are doing, rather than you, without telling you that. He knows you have been picking up the slack!

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/06/2026 22:38

Maybe he presented it as his idea so he can kid himself he’s in charge. And he won’t change it back because either his boss said no, or he can’t because that’s admitting to a woman (a woman!) that things were better how they were previously.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/06/2026 22:39

Ooohh yeah, how are the part timers? Working from home? Are they still doing the same as before? I think you said they were all 9-5 workers?

LouuLou · 18/06/2026 22:41

Ohnobackagain · 18/06/2026 22:35

@LouuLou you said you sometimes cover for part time staff? I reckon he wants to see what the others are doing, rather than you, without telling you that. He knows you have been picking up the slack!

I didn't think of that. The part time staff do not work everyday so I have provided cover. I have certainly picked up the slack too many times!

OP posts:
LouuLou · 18/06/2026 22:44

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/06/2026 22:38

Maybe he presented it as his idea so he can kid himself he’s in charge. And he won’t change it back because either his boss said no, or he can’t because that’s admitting to a woman (a woman!) that things were better how they were previously.

He is a bit full of himself!!

Always banging on about how he could walk into any job in London (I think go then!).

OP posts:
LouuLou · 18/06/2026 22:45

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/06/2026 22:39

Ooohh yeah, how are the part timers? Working from home? Are they still doing the same as before? I think you said they were all 9-5 workers?

They WFH all the time. They don't do 9-5. Mostly shorter hours. Nothing has changed for them.

OP posts:
OhYeahOhYeah · 19/06/2026 07:57

LouuLou · 18/06/2026 22:44

He is a bit full of himself!!

Always banging on about how he could walk into any job in London (I think go then!).

Oh he sounds like a Prince among Men! Bleughh!

Hope you’re enjoying a little more you time and a lot less pressure to perform other people’s duties x

LouuLou · 19/06/2026 08:01

OhYeahOhYeah · 19/06/2026 07:57

Oh he sounds like a Prince among Men! Bleughh!

Hope you’re enjoying a little more you time and a lot less pressure to perform other people’s duties x

I am enjoying some more me time and feeling less stressed. My last office day today of the week and I have booked next week off. He will have to take over quite a few tasks as he has not got back to me about several queries.

Thank you ❤

OP posts:
Thehop · 19/06/2026 08:06

Good for you OP. Let him enjoy his rope, silly bugger

ERthree · 19/06/2026 08:48

You won an award last month. That is the issue. Play him at his own game.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 19/06/2026 08:59

I hope he’s realised that he’ll be on his own next week, then! Enjoy your time off, @LouuLou.

ChristmasStars · 19/06/2026 09:18

LouuLou · 19/06/2026 08:01

I am enjoying some more me time and feeling less stressed. My last office day today of the week and I have booked next week off. He will have to take over quite a few tasks as he has not got back to me about several queries.

Thank you ❤

Edited

Make sure you keep an email trail of your emails and his lack of response. Then if he complains you can just forward and remind him. And cc in anyone who needs to know.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/06/2026 11:20

Agree @RunningNananananananananana.

I’d do extra if it was for me eg I wanted to understand more about a specific thing to apply for new jobs, but just for the sake of it? No.

Elboob · 13/07/2026 08:29

@LouuLou any changes? How was the boss after your week off?

mum2jakie · 14/07/2026 07:02

Also interested to hear how this is playing out! Any change of heart from the boss yet?

Overthehillmum63 · 14/07/2026 07:21

Of course your hours of work change because you’ll be commuting etc. And it’s not unreasonable of your boss to make this request. I come from a generation where you just went to work, did your job as best you could, and came home - it’s not such a great hardship.

ToffeeCrabApple · 14/07/2026 07:50

ScotiaLass · 15/05/2026 13:16

I'd ask for a chat with your manager to find out where he is coming from and to explain that physically working in the office three days per week will mean you are no longer available early in the morning and later in the evening and see what he says. You might find that this policy is designed to tackle issues with someone else in the team and he's prepared to continue to give you more flexibility. You may also find that you taking blocks of time out during the working day is making it more difficult to schedule meetings or get a response when he needs one and he'd actually prefer you to be available 9-5 rather than 7am-6pm but with hours away from your desk in the middle of the day when everyone else is working.

This, I had someone report to me who wanted to do what you describe but basically it had got unworkable. She asked to come in only once a week, in reality then often only came every other. We reminded her, she did a month coming every week then drifted back to every other. Company policy was 2-3 days a week in.

Our office hours are 8.30 to 5, and she basically had school kids and did not want to use any childcare. She would block her diary completely from 8.30 to 9.30 and again from 2.45 to 3.45. She then would be online but would reeeeeaallly avoid any calls at all between 4 & 5pm She would "be online" or "be on emails" at 7am or 7pm but wasnt available for calls or meetings then either. I offered to rearrange the team workload for her to support either the far east with the early starts, or the US with the evenings, she picked US but then we had feedback from them that she wasnt ever available for calls, she also wasnt willing to travel there once or twice a year.

We had to extend a 3 month probation to 6 months, at the end of that I asked her to do 2 days a week in. I also offered her part time (3 days a week condensed into school hours over 5 days) if preferable, or a change in hours (eg 7- 3.30, or 10 - 6.30 etc).

She refused and left. She moved to another company in the same industry where my friend works & he said she did the exact same thing there. It really frustrated me, ive got kids the same age and i know its hard and wanted to offer her flexibility but she just took the piss. People who try to work FT with absolutely no wraparound care for young DC tend to spoil wfh for everyone else.