Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

This was why King Charles and Camilla got married at Windsor registry office - the original plan was a private ceremony at Windsor Castle but then they realised they would have to allow it to be regularly open to the public for weddings.

Yes, but usually in these cases, the problem is about who turns up to the reception because the bride&groom know that anyone can come to the church. I presume it's more about controlling how many people they have to feed.

More bizarre to be christened and then never go to that church again. What was the point?

Maybe they should introduce an opportunity to raise objections in Christenings too.

It’s completely normal in my village for local churchgoers to attend weddings and christenings of people they don’t actually know.

Nobody would bat an eyelid.

However, I think that’s possibly not what OP meant? Are you asking if people would turn up to a wedding they had been pointedly and deliberately excluded from? I think that is different.

There is no way you can exclude children from a wedding service in England as far as I know. Anyone who wants to attend can bring their DC along.

"... Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.
We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages..."

I did not know this.

Can you perhaps identify the law to which you are referring and which "Everybody knows..."?

When I was young, neighbours and non-invitees might gather outside the bride’s home to watch her leave for the church. Some might go to the church just to see her wed (I say her because it was usual then for the marriage to take place in the bride’s parish so locals might not even know the groom), or perhaps to wait outside to see the couple leave. But these would be people who had had no expectation of being invited to take part in any of the day’s events.
I think it would be very awkward to be seen at the church if one had received just an evening invitation. Sort of like: if anyone’s cancelled for the wedding breakfast then you-hoo, here I am. Somewhat humiliating too as people might say ‘where’s X, I saw her at the church but she’s not here for the meal?’ ‘No, she wasn’t invited’.
For a funeral, there are always a few who just turn up for the service, give their respects and disappear. But if there are perhaps fsmily complications and someone has been asked to stay away in order to keep the peace, then it is respectful to do that.

My son was a choir boy. He used to have to wait in the church entrance and give the nod when the bride was ready to go down the aisle. Once at a wedding the brides family wanted the church locked because they were worried the grooms family would turn up. The vicar refused as its a public event. They did turn up and the bride was in tears, my son, aged about 10 at the time was sent to get help.

Gosh, you seem quite angry about this. It's odd to be so disgruntled by the congregation of a church attending an event taking place specifically to welcome a child to the family of that church. I wonder if maybe you should be more concerned as to why a family are holding an event, in a church, to baptise the child into that church, if they "never have, never will" attend the church?

Why are you asking @EWAB ?

My BIL, who was dh’s best man, wore his Coldstream Guards uniform for the wedding, and when we were taking pictures outside the church afterwards, some passing tourists spotted him, stopped their car, and came to take photos of him! It is one of my many happy memories of the day.

I don’t know the law that relates to church weddings, but this is for a private venue.

You also need to make sure that the proceedings:

• only take place in the specified area
• do not have any religious content (for example music or readings)
• are freely open to the public

https://www.gov.uk/find-licences/approval-of-premises-for-civil-marriage-or-civil-partnership

Plenty of people we knew came to our church wedding, you don’t need an invite to attend. The meal and evening reception was invitation only (but all guests could bring partners and kids because we aren’t mean!)

A thought has occurred....if it's a legal equirement that weddings are public, does that mean any menber of the public has the right to rock up to a royal (or celebrity) wedding?

I think outside is really lovely! It is completely unobtrusive and is just joyful onlooking.

I think sitting through a ceremony you were not invited to, especially with children who may disrupt proceedings, is more of an issue and needs to be considered more carefully. I went to a recent wedding where children (obviously not invitees as they and their parents were in very informal garb, children had wellies on and one was carrying a big stick he had obviously found in the park) talked through the vows. I actually didn't hear the vows - which is kind of the point of the ceremony.

Absolutely to all of this. Not a church goer at all - but a firm believer in belonging + community.

If People want a private event, they should book a private venue. Getting married in a church is getting married in a community venue!

I went to the church service of a wedding where I was an evening guest and my mum came too. She also came to one of my best friend's church services. These are people I've known since childhood and she's known for years too, not random strangers! Could be a fun way to spend Saturday afternoons though....

In theory, I'd think so, but I suppose they're allowed to reserve some seats for their preferred guests so you'd have trouble getting a seat/getting inside. Or maybe an exception is made for those people for security reasons?

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

that always happens with military dress in my experience, who doesn’t love a man in formal uniform I was hoping I’d get away with not buying dd a wedding dress and she’d wear her formal evening uniform but no, apparently women in the military don’t wear their uniform, damn!

I didn't know this, and wish you hadn't told me. The temptation to wander in and be that person who yells out when they ask if there are any objections might prove hard to resist! 🤡

I find weddings boring so it definitely wouldn’t be on my list of hobbies.

My aunt's friend and her sister were quite drama-loving types and as teens used to attend weddings and funerals of people they didn't know just for the "high emotion." Apparently, they used to sob through funerals of people they had never met!

Parents allowing their children to be disruptive is a totally different issue. It could equally have been official invited guests behaving like that.

It may have been appreciated. People used to hire someone to cry at funerals, didn't they?

No.