Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

My parents married at St James’ Piccadilly in 1989 and my father always enjoyed recalling the tramp sleeping it off at the back of the church.

I can’t think of any reason to go to the wedding of someone I don’t know - surely most people have much better things to do on a Saturday afternoon!? If it was someone I did know and had been clearly not invited - well, realistically no, but I might enjoy plotting it. If it was someone I knew locally and casually and wouldn’t expect an invite to the wedding, but the ceremony was in a church and I had absolutely nothing better to do, then… sure? Nice to see a pretty dress and sing a few hymns.

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

From OPer, who's post I was giving my opinion on...

I'd never take a child that wasn't invited to the meal part of the ceremony to watch a relative marry?

I wouldn't want to have to explain to them that they then had to go home while everyone else went off to the after event.

What you would choose to do is your choice.

A woman parish councillor turns up at every wedding at our village church. She attends the service and takes photos of the bride and groom.

No. I have a life 😁

Yes. It is. A church is not a venue you can rent for your private use. It is there to serve its whole parish community.

A few extra people turned up to DS2s baptism, it was on a week day and they had just popped into say their prayers. They were more than welcome.

This has actually reminded me of when I was at school and we did weddings and funerals as our topic. My whole class was taken to a wedding one friday. You’d have to hope the couple were expecting the class full of 8 year olds 😂

We were also taken to 2 funerals, one class and one whole school.

Yes, my SIL turned up at my child free wedding with her young child. They’d already refused the invite to the reception. One of the main reasons for no children was that we specifically did not want children making a fuss/noise in the church. If we’d allowed children they would have outnumbered the adults at our relatively small wedding.

Fortunately she didn’t bring along her small baby, but it was clear she wanted to make the point that anyone could turn up at the church 🤷🏻‍♀️

I definitely wouldn’t

As a teacher there were plenty of my young pupils and their families who came to see me marry.

Some in the church, some greeting us outside.

Really special.

My mum and I use to drive between weddings on Saturdays to sing. Early 2000s.

Are you feeling quite well? What is wrong with you!!!!

Similar in Scotland.

There are lines in the christening service about welcoming the child into the family of the church. We hold most christenings during the Sunday service, and when they have to be at other times, I think we should do more to encourage other members of the congregation to come along. I'm glad some churches are managing that.

This lovely Asian international student was sat at the back at my wedding, and as we were leaving she asked for a selfie with us. We were happy to do it because she was just so happy to see a different culture's wedding tradition.

Was it an after the service event?
Its not unusual for ministers to announce during the service that their will be a Christening after the service.

The never see again is a bit weird the whole point of a Christening is to bless the baby and welcome them into the church.

I'm Scottish and lapsed Catholic. It's absolutely normal for total strangers to be at baptisms and funerals (and presumably also weddings) because they are part of the normal service of the church.

Religious people want to go to services and avail of God's grace, take the sacrament, etc. Some do this daily. Is the suggestion that they shouldn't do so because there's going to be a wedding, funeral, baptism at the service as well?

That's a bit random especially the funerals.

A nice thought would be if the wedding couple was a friend / relative of your teacher. Teacher maybe couldn't get time off?

1 in 20 kids ha bereaved of a parent or sibling by the time they are 16 a funeral could be really hard for kids.

My Grandma used to go to weddings constantly. She’s Jewish and helps at the synagogue a lot, she’s particularly invested in flower arranging so her and some other elders do the chuppahs for weddings. Naturally she attends the weddings too, she does not know every couple!

I find weddings boring as chuff so can’t see one jot of excitement in this.

Please excuse my ignorance, well really I'm being nosey, whats the chuppahs?

Sorry, should have clarified. Have you seen the canopies Jews get married under on films and such? It’s called a chuppah. Usually has flowers arranged around it and my Grandma always took (and still sometimes takes) great pride in arranging them.

Yes, I’ve been to a number of weddings and funerals as part of the church congregation. One of the funerals the deceased didn’t have many family, and I felt honoured to be one of the eight in the congregation. And obviously baptisms are usually part of a normal service (as per canon law).

I am in Ireland and while everyone and anyone goes to funerals without a second thought and SOME baptisms can be held at the same time as a normal sermon I have never known of strangers to go to weddings. I mean I am sure it happens dont get me wrong but it would not be the norm.

This is a completely normal thing for church weddings, particularly where the couple or their family are active members of the church community. I got married on a Friday at the church next to my primary school. Some of the teachers who taught me as a child came across from the school to watch. People from my workplace came on their lunch break to watch too. This is totally normal. I suspect those finding it abnormal are not really active members of any church?

No need to apologise, thanks for answering. I have Googled too, because i couldn't picture it. Wikipedia says it symbolises the house they will build together.

Setting it up for the couple and the flowers sounds a really lovely thing to do.

I'm loosely Christian, but love hearing about other people's customs and cultures. I hope people don't think I'm being racist or nasty when I ask.

Wedding are just lovely regardless of the culture. A young couple full of hopes and dreams for the future. Makes me smile just thinking about it. 😃