Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

Oh it's caps lock time is it? 🤣

YES, WE KNOW THIS.

However, I would not turn up without an invite because I wouldn't want to attend a wedding I wasn't invited to.

That is your choice. 😂

It doesn't change that a church is open to all.

Yes, thank you for stating the obvious again and for hitting lower case 😁

Being serious for a moment though, I think somewhere upthread you may have mixed me up with someone who either said churches are not open to all, or who didn't think they were.

Who are you worried about? 😂

All the church weddings I have been to have been people who were part of that church so loads of people would turn up and sit near the back. I wouldn’t go to the wedding of someone I didn’t know, but I would certainly go to the wedding of someone I did know to show my support for the couple.

All baptisms I have been to have been part of the church service and it would be odd for church members not to go along as it is about welcoming them into the church. If you are having your child baptised and object to members of the congregation being there then you have really missed the point of the baptism.

Estranged members of my family turned up at my church wedding. These were close relatives my mother had quite understandably stopped contact with many years prior. I think they’d been told date/time by a stirring family member. They literally jumped out taking photos as I walked into the church with my dad and caused immense upset to my mum. Unforgivable and deliberate. Nothing you can do in the moment but what cretins!!! Sitting quietly at the back would only have been a teeny bit better they still were there only out of spite.

That is the whole point of weddings being public - so if you have a legitimate objection you can turn up and state this at the appropriate point.

Fortunately, my DH’s ex didn’t! 😅

(see above)

She would have had an legitimate objection if they were still married at the time…

The vicar at my parents church encourages people to do this. We had quite a few extra people come to our wedding service, I thought it was lovely.

It's a church. Not a private venue. Noone should be turned away from church.

I've been invited to night do only for work colleagues but have gone the church to watch/throw confetti with others that lives locally and wanted to see her bride.

I wouldn't do this though if I knew I'd not been invited as they didn't want me there.

My viewpoint is that if you marry in a church, you follow the etiquette of the church. So if it will ruin your Instagram photos, get married somewhere private.

But then I'm normal.

It sounds as if you think the reception is the more important part of the day, @Shatteredallthetimelately - I think the actual ceremony is the important part.

At our church if one of our congregation is getting married, various members of the church may turn up to support. They stay out of the way and will sit or stand at the back or upstairs, there’s no way they would get in the way of invited guests or expect to go to the reception etc.

At my wedding, I came out of the church and two of my mums cousins that had babysat me as a child, but I’d lost touch with after my mum died were waiting outside. They’d heard from a family member about the wedding and just wanted to see me get married. It was the most wonderful surprise. 🥰

Yes baptisms always have non family/friends there as they are part of a normal service. I’ve never heard of this at a wedding though!

And I certainly didn’t think anyone was angling for an invitation to the reception when members of the church congregation came to our wedding service. It was nice to have them come along.

It doesn't mean they don't want you there, just that they haven't actively invited you and might well be delighted you made the effort. Some people are told it's monumentally rude to invite people to the ceremony and evening but not the main reception. I don't think it is particularly but people get so hung up on it in all directions.

Well, I live in just that sort of community.
And it's bloody brilliant.

I did with my mum when my sister was bridesmaid for her best friend in our local village church. And my mum and sister did similar when I was bridesmaid for my childhood best friend. In both cases it had been sounded out that the bride was ok with it and we sat at the back. That's the only kind of circumstance I would.

Well… long time ago, friend getting married in church was told that anyone may turn up. She mentioned it before, slightly worried, but nothing she could do. Rightly so, as someone decided to bring their two young children and let one play with toy cars on the stone floor. Irritating for everyone when it should have been quiet so we could hear the service, to hear the toy car and the child making a noise. I would possibly watch a wedding if I had a great desire to, but I wouldn’t be so inconsiderate to take young children who clearly got nothing out of the experience.

Well… long time ago, friend getting married in church was told that anyone may turn up. She mentioned it before, slightly worried, but nothing she could do. Rightly so, as someone decided to bring their two young children and let one play with toy cars on the stone floor. Irritating for everyone when it should have been quiet so we could hear the service, to hear the toy car and the child making a noise. I would possibly watch a wedding if I had a great desire to, but I wouldn’t be so inconsiderate to take young children who clearly got nothing out of the experience.

Tbh, I think it's a bit entitled to think that people shouldn't enter a church just because you're getting married in there.
Church is for everyone and as long as it's open, anyone is entitled to enter, attend a service or sit and pray.
Some people have been attending their church for decades. And half the time, these couples weren't even regular attendees until they decided to get married there. And will never reattend once they are. Who are they to tell people they can't come in?

No decent priest/vicar would exclude a child from a church. They are quite rightly always welcome and these days, most churches have toys out for them. They are family places l, where children learn and grow and are an important part of the congregation.

The couple shouldn't have got married in a church if they didn't want others, including children, to be there.

There’s usually a core cohort of regulars at the church who will turn up to all weddings - just for a day out! They aren’t costing the bride and groom anything so there’s no harm in them sitting at the back.

So long as you don’t turn up and cause a scene and sit in the front row!