Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

I got married in a chapel within a large cathedral which meant there were loads of random visitors/tourists who had come to admire the cathedral present - some of them saw me preparing to walk down the aisle and took discrete seats at the back, others just hovered at the back of the chapel and then disappeared once the ceremony began.

Several of my parents friends also came along because they "needed to see the dress". I didn't mind at all! In fact, I loved the extra well wishers :) we have out extra confetti to tourists to join in the throw on the cathedral steps!

If they'd followed us to the reception that would have been another matter - but I understood a church (especially a cathedral on a Saturday) is a public venue. If I was bothered, I would have picked a different venue.

Well I definitely know they were never asked to leave!

Perhaps some of the guests assumed they had been hired! 😂

They were quite fun ladies actually - never a dull moment.

If half the congregation showed up, then that must be the norm in the parish. Baptisms are nearly always announced in advance to the parish because the whole concept is about the child being welcomed into the Christian community. It’s not at all weird. Maybe your family expected it to be private but they were wrong.

Or nice? As isn’t that the whole point in joining the church?

There was a chap at my dad’s funeral - crem not church. No idea who he was!

No. Whether it’s a wedding, christening or funeral, best stay away from where you’re not wanted.

Ha ha, I have never heard of that.

I guess it's a bit odd but fine so long as you clear off and don't appear in the photos and at the wedding breakfast or dinner.

Same.
Not only did I 'not mind' I was touched to see how many people we had in our Community that were willing to come to Church to witness our wedding.
I mean, we had invited all the Congregation, but it was lovely to see people there like my schoolfriend's Mum, and a couple of people I worked with, and someone from something I did as a hobby, and so forth. I was really touched.

I'd ask myself why would I want to, as I'm not the main character in there and there's no.mass or service on for me, it's a wedding so no.

I and other colleagues have gone to a wedding where we weren't invited to the reception and it was fine

A colleague we were very fond of and it was perfectly reasonable that we weren't invited to the reception. She knew we wanted to see her married and she was very happy about it

You're not necessarily not wanted.

There could be all sorts of logistical reasons why you're not invited to the wedding breakfast but the couple are quite happy that you're at the church

Move over England, Ireland has entered the chat 😎

No, but many of us are lucky enough to be part of Communities that do still care for one another.
Oh, and not just in villages. I live in a big City and this kind of support is very common amongst people I know.

The church was packed for my father's funeral mass. It was the normal mas the local Catholic school attended every week.

At DH’s grandfather’s funeral, a whole other family turned up. As in, grandpa had had another woman on the side, with a load of kids, and nobody had an inkling about them until the funeral.

I am ethnically Indian. It is strange to explain but people often pitch up at our weddings at random. Invites are sent, but this will not stop aunties and uncles from pitching up. Which is why we always do buffets with masses of food. Weddings can often be lovely, but utter chaos. No such thing as a child free wedding. Everyone dressed up in their utter finery.

They are not always part of a normal service at all. My Daughter and Sons were Christened at 14:00 on a Sunday years apart.

I've watched my spouse's family's funeral services online. I'm assuming anyone who wanted to do so can.

Just because you can do something, it doesn’t mean you should or that it’s a good idea. There’s nothing to stop me booking a table for one at the same romantic restaurant where my best friend is having a date and waving over at them all night, but it would be a bit bonkers.

Not weird at all, it’s welcoming your niece into the church (and it wasn’t a private event). Sounds like the congregation had a better argument to be there than you really, unless you were part of the wider Church

But still not private, part of the purpose of the christening is to welcome the child into the Church

I often wonder why vicars agree to this. It goes against the whole point of baptism and means they have to do another service on an already busy day.

There was a church in the area I used to live in, I’m not religious but it was a very pretty church in a nice area. There was a small balcony that was at the back that you could enter from the porch/foyer, so you could sneak in for a peek without disturbing the congregation. I popped in a few times to check out the wedding dress and general style after a wedding had started. I don’t think anyone ever noticed. It was a lovely bit of people watching. I never stayed more than 5/10 mins.

Most royal weddings take place in 'royal peculiars', which are not parish churches and are under the direct jurisdiction of the monarch - Westminster Abbey, St George's Chapel at Windsor, etc.

This issue did briefly surface at the time of Pippa Middleton's wedding, as she was married in a parish church which was technically a public event. They got around it because the church is on private land: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/apr/24/pippa-middleton-wedding-anglican-church