Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

That's a bit different. E.g. baptisms at my church (quite high CofE but not Society i.e women priests are highly welcome and of the 4 there, 3 are women and so is the Deacon) are done in the main Sunday service which is a eucharist. It's nice. I wouldn't walk in on a private baptism or a wedding - funerals are slightly different as invitations are not usually made and anyone can attend (though I think you'd have been turned away from Westminster Abbey had you tried to gatecrash HMTLQ's funeral).

God no unless I was an avid church -goer or planned to stand up and object! If I know them but they hadn’t invited me I would assume they don’t want me there so I don’t want them to be confused or for it to cause a scene. I don’t wear wedding-appropriate clothes on an average day so would have to get dressed up. If I was passing I might stop and watch random newlyweds coming out the church but definitely wouldn’t go in or join in

Good for him! I wish more clergy would do this if they could.

I grew up in a reasonably small village and people turned up at mine, and they will also go to others simply to raise the singing voices in hymns, join in prayers and be there to celebrate the marriage. It’s not something I’d expect in a larger town simply because the community isn’t quite the same as an ‘everyone knows everyone’ setting, but we were happy to have people come along and perk up the singing! Nobody would dream of throwing confetti/getting involved beyond sitting at the back, but I think it’s quite nice!

This is really weird.

I have been to many weddings and funerals in Scotland, especially in rural areas, which are seen as community events. You might not have been invited to the reception or as a guest, but if the neighbour's daughter is getting married, or the son of a passing acquaintance, or you want to pay your respects to someone in the village, you just go to the church. It's no biggie, nobody is going to think it's weird at all. Christenings are generally part of the standard church services in Scotland so there is no "guest list".

I think it would be incredibly selfish (or at best inconsiderate) to do that. It's someone's special day....let it it be the way they want.

You clearly don't understand the function of a church or proper behaviour.

When I got married loads of random people from my church turned up. I didn't mind, it was nice to see them!

We don't have christenings, we have baby blessings (done during Sunday services) and baptisms when children are eight, or adult baptisms which are also often done on a Sunday after church is finished. Families invite people, but the congregation usually stick around as well.

It used to be very common in the village I'm from. People would just sit at the back of the church to see the ceremony and wish the happy couple well. I don't know why people think it's weird as churches are public buildings. It's not like walking into a private home.

If you are part of the congregation of the church normally, then I don't see why it would be a problem unless it's standing room only for the ceremony? I wouldn't do it, but then I'm not part of the church.

I attended a Christening fairly recently and there was a fair few people there who were clearly just regular church-goers.

As someone else said, part of having your wedding or christening at a church is because you're being welcomed into said church. So why would it be an issue?

Pretty sure that's only true of C of E churches. But yes, I've heard older relatives say that in their day in working-class communities people weren't formally invited to a C of E church wedding, it was just sort of made generally known when it was happening and anyone who wanted came along; it was the reception that required invitations. Must have seemed a lot more normal in the days when most people were more integrated with their communities, more people went to church, and it was less common for working-class people to marry someone who hadn't grown up in the same area or to have their wedding a long way from home. A wedding was everybody's business.

Had that of been my thoughts I'd have written it.

I thought all weddings had to be open to the public, in case anyone wants to raise an objection.

In the 80s my colleagues and I would go along to the church to watch workmates get married.
One colleague got married on a snowy January day. Most of her relatives, who were from out of town, were unable to get to the wedding despite having said that they would come. She and her new husband asked us to attend the reception if we were happy to eat what we were given, because they had at least 20 meals that would otherwise go to waste! Us colleagues popped home, changed into something more appropriate for wedding guests and then joined the wedding party at the hotel.

As a child I vaguely remember this happening too.

However, it might have been a problem if anyone had done this at ours. The village church is tiny; we calculated that 75 was the maximum number of guests we could accommodate. That's roughly how many were invited. If any random villagers had turned up and sat at the back then there might have been a situation where invited guests had nowhere to sit.

I think you'll find you can be turned away- it's at the descretion of the vicar.
I think you might be thinking of the law of sanctuary- where you have to be let in and can't be removed for a set amount of time- murderers and accused witchesvstopped themselves being lynched this way- but this law was taken off the statute books in the C19th. The laws about access to churches were completely changed in the 1920's.
Logistically it would be hard to eject you if the ceremony was in progress, but I don't think it's a right, and never will have been- unless you are aparishoner of that specific parish. A wedding was a public declaration to your community, so anyone from that community could attend- but if you are from somewhere else, I doubt it.

Our vicar advised us not to have that bit. Aparently it's not required, but there's always some joker who thinks it's funny to call out, and once that happens they're obliged to stop the service and investigate.

The only objection that matters is if one of the couple aren't legally free to marry. You can't object because Bob's really in love with you, or the bride's sleeping with the groom's brother.

I've been to a couple of church weddings where the congregation have turned up. However they have always respectfully sat at the back and cheerfully sang the hyms to drown out the riff raff who had no idea how to follow the tune. At one wedding the bride and groom held a small drinks gathering in the back room which included any local congregation members before us guests were all shipped off to the reception. It honestly wouldn't bother me and if anything I think is lovely that other people take time out of their own days to want to share someone else's special day. To add these are randoms and generally only know the bride and groom by face rather than any other connection.

The legal requirement is that anyone with a justifiable legal impediment can be given access to object, so for high security events that won’t be the same as being allowed to sit through the wedding.

There is a swanky venue in our village used by a lot of celebs for a while and the manager turned a few away who wouldn’t accept that if someone rocked up saying they knew of a reason the marriage wouldn’t be legal the registrar/celebrant had to be informed.

His favourite saying was “security doesn’t trump law” about that and a listed outbuilding that many wanted removed as it wasn’t pretty.

My DH and I encouraged members of the church congregation to come to the wedding service, and we offered refreshments afterwards whilst we were having our photos taken. (I’d been a member for some years.) We just couldn’t invite all of them to the reception because there was a limit on numbers.

We booked DD2 months in advance to be Christened at the beginning of a Sunday service (so expected a few random people)

It turned out to be an anniversary of a WW1 event and the church was filled with people, some in uniform, many wearing medals of some kind.

I said we could have rescheduled but the vicar knew we'd had to arrange for friends and family to stay and didn't want to inconvenience us.

I used to love weddings and brides and dresses when I was little. I was obsessed with Princess Diana - her and Charles's wedding is the first television I can remember watching when I was five.

My mum took me to a couple of church weddings after that. We sat quietly at the back. Only people she knew, I hasten to add. I think it was different in the early 80s - we weren't the only ones.

A good group of people turned up to my church wedding who were not invited to the meal and party bit (we invited everyone to everything no evening guests)! It was really lovely, I knew them from childhood when I attended the church and my mum still attended the church so knew them well. It also meant the church was packed and the singing was fabulous - very memorable in fact.

I however a few years before this did not realise you could go to the church bit without and invitation, I was invited to the evening do of a wedding but not the meal and speeches bit, some people asked me why I wasn't at the church bit and I felt awful! The bride and groom didn't mind though.

Also anther wedding when I did realise you could go to the church it was a right pain in the neck trying to find somewhere to go, in your finery between the church and evening bit, ended up looking odd in a pub and also spent some time in my friends mums house!

No I would not but always nice to view the bridal party as they leave the church.

Did anyone else remember being in a gang of kids that used to tie the church gate shut during the wedding services and only release it when the groom and best man had thrown coins? I seem to remember that. Or was it just a South Wales thing?