to find menopausal weight management mentally exhausting and restrictive?

[caretoshare]

I genuinely did not understand before how much mental energy it can take. You spend years being told to “eat healthy”, “move more”, “it’s just calories in versus calories out”, and then suddenly your body seems to change the rules without informing you. You can eat what feels like practically nothing and still gain weight from one takeaway, one dessert, one slightly normal weekend. Meanwhile people around you are saying “just be in a calorie deficit” as if you have not already reduced everything enjoyable.

It is not even vanity for many women. It is the exhausting feeling that maintaining your weight now requires permanent restriction and hypervigilance. You start mentally calculating every handful of nuts, every spoon of oil, every piece of bread, because the margin for error feels tiny.

What makes it worse is how invisible it is. Menopause is discussed in terms of hot flushes and periods stopping, but less about the sheer frustration of feeling your metabolism and body composition shift while being expected to behave as though nothing has changed.

Yes I exercise and I do weight training as well.

I know weight gain is not the worst thing in the world, but the constant mental negotiation around food can become draining. Sometimes it feels like menopause means your body now demands lifelong restraint just to stay the same size.

I know it is not like this for ALL women.

May I ask: For those of you who noticed stubborn weight gain in menopause, has this occurred even if you have had a healthy weight for your whole life prior to menopause?

Totally agree. I tried everything. Now done mounjaro but too scared to come off it. Lost almost three stone , haven’t lost any now for months. I’d like to lose another stone but back to square one and NOTHING will shift it.

I feel the same. I have to be incredibly strict to lose any weight now.

What do you consider “normal quantities”? It’s a bizarre thing to say given the everyone is different in height and activity levels.

The problem is every woman will have menopause that is uniquely hers. And science/medicine has little interest or research into women's bodies at the best of time. So, it's easier for them to concentrate on what they think are the most common symptoms such as hot flushes and erratic periods. Both things seemingly caused by lack of oestrogen, but well, many can go through perimenopause without so much as a hot flush or a missed period.

Everything you think you know about your body, exercise, what to eat and how to lose weight can seemingly change overnight. It's not uncommon. In our guts are oestrogen sensitive, so many women during perimenopause can suddenly start suffering from food intolerances and/or insulin intolerance. Both these things can hinder weight loss and even cause weight gain.

Heavy weight lifting and low intensity steady state exercise like swimming and walking are far more effective in weight management because they don't make cortisol levels rise like more traditional cardio such as running and spinning. Additionally, some women will gain weight across their trunk and thighs because the fats cells in these areas produce oestrogen. Remember, just because your ovaries are stopping production of oestrogen, every single cell in your body still has hormone receptors. Hormones are a delicate balancing act, and if they're not aligned, you will gain weight. Also, mammary tissue turns to fat, so this is more weight gain that is typically hard to lose. Add in that declining oestrogen levels cause the same side effects as declining progesterone, coupled with prescribing HRT is an art, and many will be given the wrong kind and not only will their symptoms not abate, weight will pile on. DIM supplement is great because it helps metabolise excess oestrogen. Look it up if you've not heard of it.

Most diet, nutrition and exercise is aimed at men. But, and obviously, they have different bodies to women, vastly different hormones, particularly cycles too. Until perimenopause, this disparity does not matter as much, but in mid-life, a more specialist female-centred approach is needed. In 'Roar' and 'Next Level Fitness' Stacey Sims writes about the female body, exercise and menopause and it's really informative. Not only will it help you understand why many gain weight, struggle to lose it, and exercise and diet doesn't seem to help, it will given you strategies to deal with it.

I went through a premature menopause and also had cancer. Chemo also exacerbated many the menopause issues. Am now 7 years post-menopause, and two years post-chemo. Things have finally settled down. Regrettably, for some, it's a matter of time.

Apologies if this is all a bit over the place, chemo brain. That's the only thing I've not managed to beat

Edited for typos 🤦🏻‍♀️

For those who say it’s easy and just “discipline”, how do you cope with the all encompassing, grinding, painful hunger?

I’m currently eating a maximum of 1200 calories a day and although I have finally started to lose a little it’s very slow and not reliable. This week I have put on a pound and a half and lost it again.

I find myself overcome with hunger and the pain and distress it causes is awful. I was almost in tears in the supermarket a couple of days ago because I was surrounded by food I know I can’t eat despite the clawing emptiness of my stomach.
I know I’m not alone, so how do you cope with living long term in such an intense state of discomfort?

My assumption is that it's banking energy for old age. When food was scarce yet you were getting physically weaker and hunting/ foraging was getting more difficult, a bit of body fat to fall back on could have kept you going.

Insulin resistent (not intolerant)!

I honestly spend such a large proportion of my day thinking about this that it’s a constant thought in the back of my mind it seems. It’s exhausting and also bloody boring.

How much protein are you having? I have really upped my protein to try and make it more bearable.

Same, and now I can't fasten size 14 jeans.

3 stone since January is insane though!! I’ve lost a stone since then and feel like a total hero

I felt I could eat what I liked in my 20s and 30s and would stay size 10/12. Played around with Atkins type diets and got to size 8.

So my default for weight loss is high protein and high fat and low carb, it feels good and works right?

But 3 kids down the line, things have to give a bit and I ended up eating high protein etc but also snacking and not really limiting carbs - at least not to the extent that I needed to.

Anyway, a close friend lost a stone from sheer willpower and limiting calories, which felt so outdated from my 20yrs of high protein - ing.

So I now eat a chicken salad sandwich for lunch and a small portion of dinner. Prob 1000 calories altogether. Then 250 cals of G+T.

It’s working! A stone down since Jan. M

the hi gf protein lifestyle also involved iron supplements and lots of weights, both of which I’ve given up so that will probably bite me on the bum. But -

id rather be skinny than muscly

I use a tracker for my calories and macros, so the standard amount it recommends. It works out at a minimum of 53g a day, but I always exceed that by a fair bit. Looking at my stats I ate 75g on Sunday this week, somewhat less each day since then.

It’s tricky because high protein foods are often high calorie too.

This is my thread. I have piled on a stone and half in my forties. It’s like my body is covered in some loose fat suit. And HRT made the gain even worse.

Totally understand worrying about long term affects, me too and if I'd been larger but stable I might have resisted but I was gaining and not sure where it might stop. All the women in my family were slim til peri then have ended up obese by 60 with deteriorating health.

Do people put the weight on if they stop? It appears most do, but not back to their starting weight. Lots plan to stay on a low dose forever.

Maybe some hope in that all those studied were obese, so presumably had some quite serious and long term problems.

I'm staying on the starting dose which just takes the edge off my hunger and reduces most cravings, I'm hoping this might mean I can maintain better off the jabs. If not I must need the help, I'll see if I can reduce the dose as much as possible.

Another frustrated menopausal woman here!

Where the hell has my waistline gone??

I’m 5’3 and currently 9st 10lbs. Just about within normal range but I feel big. I’d like to lose about 9lbs but it’s so bloody hard! I generally have 2 meals a day and try to fast for at least 14 hours overnight (try and do 16 hours but I don’t always achieve this). I think cutting out carbs works for me but I find it very limiting especially when eating out. Today I had lunch at our work cafe, I rejected all the high cal sandwiches and opted for mushroom soup with 2 slices of bread - total 340 cals.

Does anyone have any good ideas for no/low carb dinners? And what about eating out with friends?

You are definitely not lacking in protein.

I find the high protein yoghurt a good way to boost protein with few calories.

Great for those on WLIs but I don't qualify.

How are non WLI users managing with menopausal weight gain?

I’m not fat enough for WLI but would like to lose a stone. BMI 24/25 want to get back to 21/22 as I was 2 years ago. I maintained that for 3 years as well until 49 it all went to pot. It’s like our bodies are craving to get fatter.

I try not to eat so I can eat some nice stuff. So 2 meals a day. Get too hungry on one. Not helped that I have a teen recovering from an ED so I have to model good eating and we have to have fattening tempting things in the house 🙈

If I lived on my own would be way easier I think.

Same. Lost 10kg so far and will stay on them if l have to.

Muscle burns more calories at rest, so lift heavier, then 10 minutes of high intensity interval training (cardio ) straight after , both of which increase your metabolic rate. Basically, you burn more calories at rest.
The above, with food made from real ingredients I.e cooked from scratch.
If that doesn’t bring results, then a thyroid function test would be the next step.

I also think genetics and life long habits play a part.
I am close to 60 and measure /weigh the same as I did 30 years ago . I have been a regular exerciser since I was 15, because I love movement.

I didn’t rtft so it’s probably been mentioned but it’s worth looking at your hrt, as the dosage might not be right. The body has to prioritise belly fat if oestrogen levels are uncertain, because it contains a form of oestrogen. You could be skeletal and you’d still have the spare tyre.

It could be something like an absorption issue and switching from gel to patch or spray or vice versa could improve your absorption. It’s highly individual. I was maxed out on gel, but I was able to reduce the dose when I went to the spray.

I can’t say for certain that reduced belly fat because I also do intermittent fasting, and gave up sugar and simple carbs, so it’s probably an interplay of factors. I know giving up sugar isn’t what anyone wants to hear but once the cravings stopped I started to really enjoy my food, and hunger is a niggle rather than a scream now,

Totally relate to this thread. I’m 5’7 and as a young adult was 8.5 stone. Ate like a horse. After DC that became 9.5 stone but in my 40s I went over 10 stone and now in my 50s I’ve gone over 11 stone. I don’t eat sugar, refined carbs or UPFs. I don’t snack and I drink alcohol only a couple of nights a week. I’m trying to count calories now but it’s so very very depressing.

I’m going to try dropping to two meals a day ie 16;8 and see what that does. I tried the 5:2 and got very grumpy and headachy.

Totally agree that it would be easier if I didn’t have to also provide food for the DC who have very different calorific needs.