to find menopausal weight management mentally exhausting and restrictive?

[caretoshare]

I genuinely did not understand before how much mental energy it can take. You spend years being told to “eat healthy”, “move more”, “it’s just calories in versus calories out”, and then suddenly your body seems to change the rules without informing you. You can eat what feels like practically nothing and still gain weight from one takeaway, one dessert, one slightly normal weekend. Meanwhile people around you are saying “just be in a calorie deficit” as if you have not already reduced everything enjoyable.

It is not even vanity for many women. It is the exhausting feeling that maintaining your weight now requires permanent restriction and hypervigilance. You start mentally calculating every handful of nuts, every spoon of oil, every piece of bread, because the margin for error feels tiny.

What makes it worse is how invisible it is. Menopause is discussed in terms of hot flushes and periods stopping, but less about the sheer frustration of feeling your metabolism and body composition shift while being expected to behave as though nothing has changed.

Yes I exercise and I do weight training as well.

I know weight gain is not the worst thing in the world, but the constant mental negotiation around food can become draining. Sometimes it feels like menopause means your body now demands lifelong restraint just to stay the same size.

I know it is not like this for ALL women.

Omg yes. I could lose 5lbs over a weekend!

Muscle doesn’t weigh more than fat. A lb is a lb be it feathers or bricks. A lb of muscle just takes up less space. I do agree about the meno apron though,

So much this. My weight is steady at a good nine stone, so I'm BMI 21. But I only eat one meal a day, run for miles, cycle, walk, do Pilates, I've started weight training too, and if I eat ANYTHING over this one fairly light meal, on goes the weight. I can't eat any less, am frequently very hungry, and yet... what are we supposed to do?

You are me. I exercise every day too and eat loads of fruit and veg (I’m veggie). However, I eat a couple of squares of choc a day and have a free flat white from the supermarket. I suspect those things tip me into a calorie surplus. I lost 5kg using my fitness pal a couple of years ago but it was grim as I was starving the whole time. I promptly put half of it back on again v quickly anyway. Uggh.

Eating healthy is a lifelong thing it's not just so u can lose weight then slip back into old habits !
And this is why alot of people find it so hard ! Just eat sensibly and it becomes second nature there isn't any reason why people can't lose weight due to menopause alot of people don't actually know the amount of calories they are consuming and more than likely eating way over a deficit !
Mayonnaise for example having a few big Dollops a day will tip u over if u are not eating a healthy meal .
Lean proteins lots of veggies u can eat pasta rice and pototes but a smaller portion then your veggies and just keep moving !
Glasses of wine are another hidden calorie danger !
It doesn't have to be so hard when u do it as a lifestyle it's hard when u doing it to get to a specific weight and not overhauling lifestyle !

I have the added bonus of food intolerance so can't have dairy, no gluten, no eggs, no nuts etc. Chickpeas, beans and some vegetables make me really ill and some fruit bloats me so much I look pregnant.

I exercise, do weights and yoga, don't drink and have never smoked.

Any suggestions seriously welcome

Menopause really sucks!

I don't drink, don't eat many carbs (I genuinely don't like bread, pasta, potatoes etc), very little sugar, lots of fibre and wholefoods. Loads of veg. I lost four stone six years ago when I was 59. My weight has been stable ever since. As long as I eat almost nothing.

Wow, impressive! But what would happen if you allowed yourself a little bit of leeway? You're nowhere near overweight...

OMG should we all just have a bowl of pasta and a glass of wine and be happy?? Who's in?

One thing I would suggest to anyone struggling with this is to get your thyroid levels checked. Perimenopause/menopause are a classic time of life for things to go awry.

Are you actually happy living like this? Because this would make me absolutely miserable.

I daren't. I can put on weight looking at a cake. I very occasionally have a big meal out or something, if I'm on holiday, but it takes so very long to lose even a pound and I have to eat SO little in order to lose weight that I prefer to keep my weight where it is, because I'm afraid that if I start to gain it will pile on and I'll be back trying to lose weight. It's easier to be stable than lose anything.

I already eat healthy. I know the amount of calories I am consuming. I have smaller portions, eat lots of veg, upped my protein, have never drank alcohol. I am active. Weight training and walking around 14k steps a day. My body is different now it is menopausal. There is barely any leeway. I can't make my portions much smaller or up my activity.

Me. Opening my bar in half an hour

How old are you @Girlwithavibe ?

A cubed cm of muscle weighs more than fat.

I'm 50 !

A cubed cm of muscle weighs more than a cubed cm of fat

Me too! I think you’ve always had it wrong Op and probably eating more than your body needed but were younger and possibly moved more.

I’ve always had to be sensible with what I eat and be very conscious of calories in and the exercise needed to allow for treats. I eat a Mediterranean diet and exercise everyday, always have and have found no difference since being menopausal.

I’m hearing you! The thing that’s working for me is spaced eating - for now, anyway. I also lost weight when I stopped HRT, for me it was similar when I was taking the pill

I agree with this as well I have subclinical thyroid problems where I have lots of antibodies attacking my thyroid so it's not doing anything one way or the other ATM but I am guessing it goes under and over at times 😕

Because presumably she doesn’t want to be any bigger. Leeway would result in fat gain. She presumably is happy with the size she is.

is restricted eating fun? Nope. Is being fat fun? Nope. Some of us prefer the restrictions and eating, then we do being larger

I like not having to think about what I wear. When I’m the size I am, I can just pull on anything and I feel fine. I don’t have to think about it too much. When I’m larger, I’m constantly feeling that I don’t look great and what I’m wearing something that look good. One day looks rubbish the next day

I end up dressing to hide bits of my body instead of just putting on whatever it is that I want to wear. It’s far too much mental ball ache to be fatter for me. It’s a lot less mental energy for me just to be slim and that requires me to think about what I eat. But the thinking about what I eat takes a lot less energy and a lot less of my time than thinking about what I wear

I m fit and healthy but same as most people on here my shape has changed and weight crept on.

Ive just gone back to basics with 3 meals a day and a few snacks. No UPS or coffee and starting to enjoy the benefits, no more energy slumps after lunch ( did 16:8 before), better sleep, skin looks much better but the best but is no bloating and lost half a stone.

Given the weight gain is widespread in 40s and 50s, I’m wondering what evolutionary gain there is from it. If I could see that, I might start to accept the whole situation but as it is, I rail against it.

My whole leptin and ghrelin balance has gone.

This was never a thing until upfs and monetising every aspect of life.
The average person today needs nowhere near the 2k calories "recommended" as most are sedentary. By the same token, there is no requirement for "snacks" or anything else unnnatural.
However, if you do not know about basic human nutrition and think all your food comes pre-packed from a shop...