To ask if you've mastered the art of not feeling bad about an ageing face

[CurdinHenry]

I spend too much on vanity and think it would be sensible to roll it back and stop thinking about it (I'm soon to turn 45). Obviously physical health is important but I mean the Botox/etc side of things.

HOWEVER my eyelids bother me and so will my everything else when it all eventually starts to go natural. I'll still dye my hair forever unless Armageddon happens in my lifetime.

I think the forties are an age of power and I am so pleased with my career and everything else so I want to stop being weakened by this one thing.

I’m 65 next month. I still dye my hair but never had Botox or fillers and never will. Don’t wear makeup either. Life is for living. Seize it with both hands.

I'm 76 and probably look it, however, because I'm slim and fit (do yoga, walk a lot, climb ladders etc) people think I'm younger. My friend, same age, looks 10 years younger but has had two knee replacements and still has mobility problems. I know which I prefer.

Absolutely!

My cousin died in his 40s - it was a slow and painful death having battled cancer on and off from the age of 15. I was there just before he died. His mother was battling cancer herself at the time (which eventually killed her a couple of months later). He was a wonderful person who we miss to this day, 15 years on.

Im sorry but it is shallow to complain about aging. He would have loved to have had the chance to age, even badly.

I think I am lucky that through life I defined myself by my brains rather than beauty. Ugly child, bullied etc. I was clever and did well in life that way. I accepted my lack of looks and didn’t dwell on it.

But I had an interest in fashion in my 20s and now in my 50s, love clothes and looking great. But I won’t touch my face with anything other than a bit of makeup.

I have a great career, a very active social life, lovely adult kids and an amazing husband. I am very lucky. My face looks like I am 55, but I don’t feel remotely invisible and actually like my wrinkles. A life well lived. I look at my 21y daughter then think that it’s her time now.

Onwards and upwards for the next phase in life. Def without botox!

I think you're being a bit dramatic. I simply don't think the alternative being death makes ageing ok. Can't imagine it's a therapeutic approach offered to people in care homes.

I think you're being a bit dramatic.

says the op

Im always a bit 🤨 about the invisibility thing tbh
Complaining at 55 you are " invisible" to men
This kind of assumes you want men to look at you, when normal, healthy women mostly want random men to F off and just leave them alone.
Of course I want to be loved by my DH but Im not remotely interested in anyone else so why would it bother me if Im " invisible" they are invisible to me so whats the problem !

Edit
Was generally to the thread not sure why it quoted Pp

Im dramatic ?
Ok ...

You think that poster is being dramatic!! Fuck me. You are the one that seems to think it’s ’unfair’ that we age.

So what do you suggest then. We physically age (regardless of how it makes us look) or we die. Railing against that is pointless and dramatic.

that is why I suggested therapy. It’s fine to mourn looks when they fade and fine to spend a fortune on trying to look as good as you can. However you seem genuinely angry about the unfairness, and that isn’t good.

Its lack of integration of self thats at play here, Ops true self and her ego imagined self dont line up
Suggests PD

Yeah but if you suggest any kind of therapy etc you get shouted down

I have friends that fall into two camps (we’re all 40-55).
Some have gone down the Botox/filler/lashes/WLI route and others have gone down the gym/running/diet route.
i can tell you who is ageing better.

Agree

What a waste of life,hating your self
You are going to age anyway

Off to enjoy the greenhouse !🌺🦠🪴

Do you not have anyone who hasn’t done either 😬

Some regard privately paid for WLI as a “beauty treatment”

Oh resorting to personal attack now are you? I'm dim and hard of understanding ? Always a sign that someone has nothing constructive to say and can't defend their point when they start talking like this. In case you hadn't realised I wasn't defending the OP, I was defending people in general who have a different opinion to yourself and not be labelled as needing therapy or having issues.

What do you suggest you say to her as a solution to ageing being ‘unfair’? People have pointed out that the alternative is worse but apparently not.

Perhaps you would like to turn your attention to the other people who think she needs help.

You started with the personal attacks. ‘Weird’ and ‘hypocrite’ are just two examples.

Do you think the OP sounds fine? Okay then.

i don’t know (or care) what your issue is with me but there are plenty of others on the thread for you to have a pop at.

I don’t think about it that much. I colour my hair because i like vivid colours and trying different styles, but i don’t do it to look younger, i actually wish my hair would be fully grey as then i could just put fun colours on with out the bleaching step. I do occasionally think l’d like to get botox in my forehead wrinkles but I don’t actually do it because I don’t care enough to make the effort.
I lost a leg to cancer a few years ago and that really cemented for me that age is a privilege many aren’t afforded and that’s when I really stopped giving a shit about how anyone else sees me and dressing for me, i do my hair for me and Im sure there are people who think I’ve gone nuts but im having fun, so fuck it!

Get your facts right - I didn't say you were weird. I said some people may well think that that choice is weird. There is a difference.
Moving on - what word would you use to describe someone saying a poster needs therapy and has an issue because they don't agree with their choices while talking about their own lifestyle which others may see as unusual?
If you post then others will counter post as you have done with the OP on numerous - why would you say they are having " a pop at you"? Is this what you are doing with the OP or are you merely responding to her posts?

As was Livia's too.