To ask if you've mastered the art of not feeling bad about an ageing face

[CurdinHenry]

I spend too much on vanity and think it would be sensible to roll it back and stop thinking about it (I'm soon to turn 45). Obviously physical health is important but I mean the Botox/etc side of things.

HOWEVER my eyelids bother me and so will my everything else when it all eventually starts to go natural. I'll still dye my hair forever unless Armageddon happens in my lifetime.

I think the forties are an age of power and I am so pleased with my career and everything else so I want to stop being weakened by this one thing.

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta I have communicated with MN to discuss this thread in general. I won't be discussing your posts any more with yourself .

It isn’t because I don’t agree with her choices. She can do what she likes. But she’s been very disparaging about unattractive people - either she loathes them or herself.

Do you think it’s okay for someone to be so angry that she is getting older, even though people have pointed out that they have lost loved ones young and that that is much worse.

Several people have suggested therapy because she clearly has issues. It’s concern. 🙁 If you choose to misinterpret that then that’s on you.

If you were bothered about the suggestions of therapy then you would pick up everyone who has suggested it.

Anyway look on the bright side - in a survival situation I would clearly be left to die, according to the OP.

Well thank you.

There are a few women I work with who have Botox , fillers, lip fillers. I think they look a little odd, you can tell they’ve had something done.
It doesn’t appeal to me at all, I’m aware they probably look at me and think.. If she’d only have a little Botox.

@Pamnn82 someone said to me fairly recently "have you thought about an eye lift? It would make you look so much better!" 🤣

The only thing about ageing that has bothered me looks-wise is that my hair is now very thin.

I was never an oil painting in the first place so I didn't have any looks to lose.

Perfectil Hair. You’ll be astounded. I had stress related hair loss a few months ago. I now have masses of baby hair coming through. That stuff really works.

I hate my neck. I don’t want fillers to neck or jawline as I don’t want a “ pillow” face. I am interested in the Nefertiti neck lift if others would like to share their experiences of it. Don’t want my neck to end up like Jenny’s in Gogglebox!

Are the tablets huge? I struggle to swallow huge tablets.

Not particularly. I guess you could break then in half if they’re too big. Genuinely, they really work and I was a sceptic.

Meh I genuinely couldn’t care less about aging and I’m 45. No Botox or any work done, but I do use a brilliant moisturizer with SPF 30 which I swear has made me look younger. Lots of gentle exercise, fresh air, healthy food and water is better than any injections or surgery. I’ve embraced the grey and have done for years, DD’s bf said the other day that I look 30 except for the grey hair, so I’ll take that 😂. I’m not very peopley at all so I’m enjoying the lack of attention that comes with getting older, people (ie letchy men) leave me alone. Aging definitely falls in the it is what it is category for me.

I’m at peace with my saggy, wrinkly face (I’m 45) - ageing is inevitable and to be able to grow old is fortunate. Try thinking of older relatives or friends who you love or respect - do you really care about their wrinkles or droopy eyelids? I know I don’t - my mum in her 70s looks beautiful to me, as did my nana.

@LiviaDrusillaAugustai don’t think so! It seems to be all or nothing here.

I think about this a lot. My Mum is very vain and I have watched her struggle as she gets older. I have seen how 'being attractive' has been a fundamental part of her identity and I can see that without it she is somewhat lost. I am staring from a better / easier place than her because I am happy to go out without make up and generally more accepting of the way I look naturally than she is but I can also see that this would absolve me of the discomfort of aging.

I think if you genuinely want to be 'ok' with aging, then we probably need to work on it (work on our brains, not our face). I think I might start looking for some self help style books to help me understand / question / challenge why it's hard to become less attractive. If I find any good ones, I'll let you know.

Seriously? Goodness going to try that, thank you!

You’re welcome. Losing your hair is shit.

To be fair even the creative goddess Nora ephron felt bad about her neck

I looked at it and realised I am taking these ingredients already+ vit d , vitb12,iron, magnesium , biotin etc . My hair is improving slowly.

Its good to know it works. My hair is ok when blow dried and moussed but the parting looks wider and its certainly not as swooshy as it used to be.

I bet no one dares post a photo of their aged necks, to make me feel better!

I had a bald patch on the top of my head which most people could see as I’m a shortarse. It’s gone now.

I’m 58, lost 115lbs recently & gained loads of wrinkles.

I’m pretty much ok with that. I smile a lot.

I’m not at all interested in the male gaze & I think that really helps. I’m more concerned about how active I am, enjoying putting outfits together I feel great wearing etc.

I’ve never had Botox or anything- I think that is an aging look in itself & it’s never had any appeal for me. I do know lots of women who have gone down the filler/botox route & they all seem to be terrified of looking “old”. My attitude has always been aging is way better than the alternative. Plus why cultivate these fears in your own life? It seems pointless to me.

Geeze you’d want a quick reply to that. I’d think of something much later. Like “did you think it was going to improve the look of your face? How disappointing ” < hard stare>

how bloody rude.

Get into feminism op. You quickly get liberated from interest in all this beauty standards bollocks. And you meet amazing women too.

What does “get into feminism” actually mean in reality @RobinEllacotStrike ?