Is it ok for men to be in the ladies loos if they need to assist a disabled wife?

[someoneelsesshoes]

Not sure if I’m unreasonable to have felt a bit strange about this.

I went to the ladies toilets in a garden centre and there was a man standing by the sinks. I immediately went to walk out as I thought I’ve mistakenly gone into the men’s. He then said sorry and said he was waiting for his wife. He was next to a zimmer frame which I assume was his wife’s.

I felt really strange about this but went into the loo as usual. I understand maybe his wife really needed help to get on/off the loo so dismissed it. She was still in the stall when I left. But when I left the loo I checked the disabled and it was open and ready to use (though maybe it was occupied when she needed it and it was an emergency).

I haven’t come across this before so not sure if we make this concession for male carers. I know disabled people need to be supported and maybe he’s the only one who can help her.

Totally agree, plus there'd be more perverted men hanging round because they'd be entitled to be there so they'd have more opportunities.

What on earth does that mean? Male parent of small child should plan ahead so that.. what? Make sure she never needs the toilet? Or plan to take her into a men’s toilet and walk past the urinals to get to the (possibly poorly maintained) cubicles. Or plan to use the disabled toilet, when neither are disabled?

Oh, so, you’re going even further and saying that men must always enter a women’s toilet to check it safe for their pre-teen/ teen child to go in and wee? I guess, in case there’s other men in there?

ooh I have a suggestion! How about no men in women’s toilets. Ever. Sounds a good solution…..

i mean your post just highlights how dangerous men are right?

Ok so a 10yr old daughter alone with let’s say 3-4 other adult women is in more danger from 1 elderly male carer with his disabled wife than let’s say a 4yr old girl with her dad from 3 to 4 men with their dicks out?

Objectively, the female in the most danger is the little girl in the men’s loos with her dad. Just by going in she is being flashed with adult male genitalia.

A 10yr old is bigger, older, stronger, surrounded by other women.

That 4 year old? Traumatised.

Then there’s no winning is there? Sometimes we will have to manage situations that make us uncomfortable, or never use the toilet outside the home.

I did once go to a theatre in London that I cannot remember the name of.

it had loos that were marked “cubicles” and “cubicles with urinals”.

i did seriously consider going in the “cubicles with urinals” just for the kicks but then I remembered my manners.

They had helpfully stationed a member of staff outside the doors who totally refused to use the words men’s women’s ladies gentlemen’s or similar.

i watched for a few minutes as it was most amusing and most people walked up, did a double take, took a few secs to process and then went in the “correct” one.
(female, uses a wheelchair)

So men shouldn’t take their daughters to male toilets in case they’re ‘poorly maintained.’ I’ve heard it all now.

When at a urinal! They pull their pants down and therefore I don’t think we should be expecting fathers to have to walk there young daughter passed men urinating!

i don’t agree with men in the female spaces but I do think due to lack of suitable facilities in this country we need to have exceptions. Like helping disabled wife or a small child.

No. No we don’t. H2h

I have explained at length why that is not possible.

someone who is disabled to the point they need a frame needs a carer to help them within the cubicle.

No there's disabled toilets . They could plan a head as to where there would be appropriate facilities to use. You know like parents use the baby changing facilities or such like. Like if you've got kids you'll go to child appropriate places etc. And how do you know I'd be happy for him to take her in the men's loos????!!!!!!!🙄🙄🙄

Walking past ‘men urinating’ is less dangerous to a child’s health that having a sexually abusive man in the women’s toilet.

Quite, but those saying the disabled woman should have waited till the disabled toilet was free or used incontinence pants can't seem to see this, they are so obsessed.

You clearly have your own agenda, so I don’t think there’s much point in engaging. But I’ll respond to this.

No, I’m suggesting that a ten year old should not be going into an enclosed space alone. I wouldn’t have my ten year old niece in the toilet alone amongst adult women or men. You’re mad if you think all women are magically safe.

The adult accompanying the ten year old should make sure the space is safe, and for me that means either going in with them, or checking it’s empty and monitoring who goes in. That’s true for girls in female spaces and boys in male spaces.

Totally agree.

I think you will find that men do not, in fact, "pull their pants down" at urinals.

😂

What do you think flys on trousers are for, exactly?

It’s wild to me, honestly this place is a revelation of how unhinged and nasty so many women are.

Or is a woman who wouldn't let him leave, because she needs him.

Yet more ableism, assuming that this woman has no agency because she's disabled.

Hahahaha have you ever seen a man piss in a toilet. They don’t wave their penises around! Fuck me, do you know any men? And even if they did…well I’m not sure penises are traumatic - certainly not as traumatic as getting raped in a female toilet

In your hypothetical situation why is the 10yr old surrounded by ‘3-4 other adult women.’ Do you always go to the toilet in a pack?

And why is the 4yr old in the toilet with her dad in more danger? This is unhinged thinking

Little girls shouldn’t be in men’s toilets no, this has been made clear to you a number of times now.

a lot of men were tracksuits which don’t have flys and also I don’t know any man who pulls their penis through there fly

Neither myself nor any other man I know pulls their trousers down to have a wee at a urinal. It just doesn't happen. Zips or buttons are undone for the purpose, or if neither is present then the front of the pants is pulled down just enough to make peeing possible.
But no fella stands there with his trousers round his knees or ankles!

Disabled toilets are for disabled people. Perhaps this couple ended up in the women’s toilets because some bonehead thought it was ok to let their kid use the disabled toilet.

By who?! Legally the advice is when under 8 to go into the toilet/ changing room of the person who is taking you, so why do you think you know differently?

are you genuinely suggesting any female child should be in the women’s toilet with a man?

Having just asked, DH (between laughter) has confirmed that he has never in all his 56 years seen a man with his pants around his ankles at a urinal. It goes through the zip or above the waistband.

You can't see anything unless you are literally peering round trying to catch an eyeful.