Is it ok for men to be in the ladies loos if they need to assist a disabled wife?

[someoneelsesshoes]

Not sure if I’m unreasonable to have felt a bit strange about this.

I went to the ladies toilets in a garden centre and there was a man standing by the sinks. I immediately went to walk out as I thought I’ve mistakenly gone into the men’s. He then said sorry and said he was waiting for his wife. He was next to a zimmer frame which I assume was his wife’s.

I felt really strange about this but went into the loo as usual. I understand maybe his wife really needed help to get on/off the loo so dismissed it. She was still in the stall when I left. But when I left the loo I checked the disabled and it was open and ready to use (though maybe it was occupied when she needed it and it was an emergency).

I haven’t come across this before so not sure if we make this concession for male carers. I know disabled people need to be supported and maybe he’s the only one who can help her.

Then they use the accessible cubicle.

No, I can't. Haven't been able to since I was mid thirties. Tena are really very good.

How do people cope when they go abroad? Many toilets have attendants and they aren’t always female. I remember visiting the colosseum and there was a male attendant in there

Him thinking what is best for his wife doesn’t trump my rights just because he has a penis.

God, its so tedious isn't it. Why are we still needing to spell this stuff out.
Everyone is a special case.

If I saw a man in a ladies bathroom I'd ask him to leave.

I can assure you, not that I need to, of course, that I have better things to do than fight with people here. If you think explaining calmly, with a differing opinion is classed as a fight, then sorry about that. The Op asked a question, We do not all have to agree. I would have no problem with the Man being there, in this scenario.

I see that posters who are rigid about this will tell disabled and elderly women that to plan ahead or just piss themselves to make their point. So not centering ALL women then ?

I have to plan ahead. I’m physically disabled, I also piss myself so wear tena pants, and I have trauma due to rape.

whys it ok for me to have to plan ahead but not the penis haver and his wife?

I don't have usually have a problem finding one when I want one.

If they will 'piss themselves' unless a man can go into a women's area they need to use inco pads. Their need does not trump everyone else's.

There are accessible toilets everywhere.

She’s welcome to use the women’s facilities.
Shes welcome to come in with a female carer.

Her needs do not trump the right of all other women to have access to single sex toilets.

@Gloriia I wish I could plan ahead, I have an auto immune condition and if I get the urge to go (which comes out of nowhere where) I have to find a toilet in 3-5 mins. I have soiled myself driving back from the supermarket for example. It’s not that simple for some people

In an ideal world yes but you don’t know their circumstances.

It wouldn’t bother me at all. It’s not like I drop down my pants by the sink! I use the toilet behind a locked door so a man standing by the sinks wouldn’t bother me.

Surely he should have helped her into the disabled toilet not the ladies.

Of course it's not ok. It's the women's toilet, that means it's only for women and girls (and very young accompanied boys)

They should have used the disabled.
If it was an emergency then obviously it might have been necessary but it's not ok.

And no woman should have to justify why they object. They shouldn't be mocked for objecting.
The objection is perfectly reasonable.

Also have an urgency issue. Plan my life around toilet availability

This is no excuse for men in the ladies

This ^

Only if the disabled loo was occupied and they were going to have an accident. Otherwise no they should use disabled facilities

Good grief it’s a man helping his wife use the toilet in a way as dignified as possible. He wasn’t in there with his hand down his trousers getting off at women walking into the toilets - don’t be so ridiculous honestly

I understand, we all do. In fact some posters have explained their own incontinence issues.

Use inco products, plan ahead, find accessible facilties.

Taking men in should never be a consideration.

It's not my issue what they should have done that's their problem to solve. It's interesting how there's always a reason why anyone who has toileting troubles needs to use the ladies toilet and not the men's or the disabled toilet.

That does not justify any man ever going in any women's toilet.

i know mine and he isn’t allowed in the ladies.

My incontinence and arthritis does not give me the right to take a male helper into a ladies loo, I wouldn't dream of it if there was a working disabled one.

I am both older and periodically disabled.

Huge numbers of women wear pads, every supermarket sells them.