Partners horrible tattoo addiction

[feduptbh]

Not writing this to be horrible about my partner but I’m concerned.
when we met he had tattoos yes but he’s now covered.
I also have tattoos (just the odd one) I haven’t had any for ten years.

I feel his tattoo addiction has got out of hand. The tattoos he had are demonic. (Monsters, demons with big tongues hanging out etc) including stuff like Jason from the horror film. He looks covered in big black blobs and honestly he’s starting to look an absolute mess.
I’m all for your body your choice absolutely and I don’t control him or tell him not to.
but I feel he spends too much money on them.
example today he’s booked a full day being tattooed of another monster. This costs hundreds and we are by no means rich.
We’ve got kids a house etc I’d rather the spare money go on the kids or a day out etc.

he said yesterday “2 years ago I’d of canceled my tattoo for you but not now I don’t cater to you like that” which to me says it all. And really hurt.

honestly I love him but he looks a mess. Honestly the tattoos are a horror scene xa

Yep that's my opinion.

The only thing I'll change in what I wrote is that some tiny tattoo on the ankle (or wrist) of a butterfly may not be a sign of stupidity, just a young woman following the latest trend, so may be I was harsh there.

Not performative for me. I mean it.

you didn't have to be quite so fucking condescendingly nasty about people who have them though.

I agree with pp that they can be really good arsehole detectors, so i'm glad of mine for that.

Course it’s not…

I think people are better off not being around someone who genuinely thinks that tattoos are a sign of mental health issues.

Exactly!

Some people do seem to get addicted to the high they get from thinking about one and having it done and don't know when enough is enough and it's time for a different hobby as they are merging in to each other and looking a mess.

Imagine shagging someone and seeing some big fucking ugly demon with its tongue out just glaring at you from his chest.

Lovely.

Why do people present their opinions as if everyone agrees with them? It’s not your thing - fine. But many people would be fine with it. it doesn’t make them deviant in some way

do I fancy him? His face yes.

A pretty face doesn't pay the bills, buy food or new shoes for the children.

Sorry but I laughed, that’s hideous. I don’t mind well done tattoos if they’re not plastered, and have been with tattooed men in the past, but this is just awful. I’d hate it!

I didn’t say everyone agrees with me. I said it’s gross.

Nym checks out

The opinion of Mumsnetters on tattoos, good or bad, is completely irrelevant to your dilemma.

You're free to end a relationship for any reason or none. If you find the tattoos unpleasant, that's a perfectly valid reason. He's made it clear he isn't open to negotiation - which is his right - and it's your right to say, enough is enough,

I think the reason why is because tattoos are entirely optional (obviously not talking about medical uses or the poor people in concentration camps who got tattooed here) thus it is a choice.

A choice where the effects are not insidious or creeping (like eating too much, smoking ) but obvious and permanent. Like people should know this.

So why shouldn't have people have strong anti- tattoo opinions and express them freely?

A man having a singular military tattoo? Fine.
A girl with one dolphin tattoo on ankle or some string of gibberish on her wrist? Fine. Young woman following a trend.

Multiple large tattoos featuring disturbing images like guns or demons on places like the décolleté area in hideous blue ink?

I'm going to think that such a person has mental health issues.

I don't think your username would have them, either. Lol.

If he has any on his Face Id be gone !

It’s an interesting point. I reckon the partner has some say in what the individual does to their body. For example, I think it’s fair enough if my partner objected to me having my genitals removed. Equally if I decided to radically change a feature on my face or body - he’d be looking at it more than me. But then what say have we if our partner puts on 10 stone weight or covers their body and face in tattoos? I think it’s all connected

For me the tattoos are his choice and you've not got to like them but the fact he's spending family money on them would really piss me off tbh

I’m slightly mind blown that in this day & age people are commenting that tattoos are a hallmark of being mentally unwell,thick or a criminal. Just wow.
💀

Bizarre…

I'm pretty much aiming to be covered in tattoos from the neck down I've plenty currently, I am far from thick and I'm definitely not chavvy, mentally ill however I'll take that one I have a diagnosis mind.
I would never prioritise tattoos over my family though and I would respect my partners opinions and maybe compromise on designs etc.
I think you need to have a chat with your partner as him prioritising tattoos over his family is definitely many steps too far. Whilst you don't get to dictate what he does to his body and vice versa you are definitely allowed to find it unattractive.
As previous posters have stated there's no such thing as unconditional love between adults. So you don't have to stay in this relationship but also you could both want to and be able to fix things.

Wow, with that comment he has just told you what he thinks of you. There is no way this is a fulfilling relationship, you mean nothing to him. Start saving and promise yourself he will be gone by the end of summer.

There are 2 separate issues
1- having loads of tattoos means you are no longer attracted to him. He can do what he likes with his own body, but you are not unreasonable to find them/him unattractive. DH has 5 tattoos, I like them but if he was covered I’d not find that attractive either.

2- the cost. He is spending too much money on his tattoos to the detriment of your children. This makes him a selfish arsehole.

Please explain how someone having a tattoo outside of your very narrow idea of what is acceptable is mentally ill? Can you point me towards the research that shows this fo be true as I would be interested to see it.

What is it on here where people view anything they wouldn’t do as a sign of lack of intelligence or mental illness? It’s kind of ironic really as I think someone who says that people are thick or mentally ill because of a legal choice they have made that in itself affects nobody else actually shows a lack of intelligence and perhaps a little mental instability.

Intelligent people understand you can dislike anything for no reason at all but to assume mental illness is narrow minded in the extreme.

I actually pity people who can’t understand that valid choices exist outside of their own. It must be difficult to live your life like that.

DH has a chest piece from the anime Berserk and it's a load of mens heads screaming into an eclipse 😂 I think it's cool and makes him look hot but some people definitely would find it quite creepy. I love all his creepy artwork but the chest one is particularly cool.

Takes all sorts doesn't it!

Free choice is free choice and that's fine, but I agree that it can be a sign of deeper issues, especially if you're spending money that you don't really have on it and making permanent changes to your appearance. Particularly ones that have involved some level of pain to get them. Not for everyone, but for some I'd see it as almost a "pretty" version of self harm scars when taken to extremes.

In the same way, I think if someone with really long hair suddenly shaves it all off it can be a free choice and just wanting something new but it can also be a response to trauma. And hair grows back.

I don't think you can tell from an outsider's perspective though so I wouldn't judge someone either way.