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Original poster

Partners horrible tattoo addiction

173 replies

feduptbh · 09/05/2026 10:52

Not writing this to be horrible about my partner but I’m concerned.
when we met he had tattoos yes but he’s now covered.
I also have tattoos (just the odd one) I haven’t had any for ten years.

I feel his tattoo addiction has got out of hand. The tattoos he had are demonic. (Monsters, demons with big tongues hanging out etc) including stuff like Jason from the horror film. He looks covered in big black blobs and honestly he’s starting to look an absolute mess.
I’m all for your body your choice absolutely and I don’t control him or tell him not to.
but I feel he spends too much money on them.
example today he’s booked a full day being tattooed of another monster. This costs hundreds and we are by no means rich.
We’ve got kids a house etc I’d rather the spare money go on the kids or a day out etc.

he said yesterday “2 years ago I’d of canceled my tattoo for you but not now I don’t cater to you like that” which to me says it all. And really hurt.

honestly I love him but he looks a mess. Honestly the tattoos are a horror scene xa

OP posts:
keepswimming38 · 09/05/2026 14:12

I think when people get monsters and weird shit tattoos all over their bodies then it’s a sign of mental illness. I would be making plans to leave tbh!

QuintadosMalvados · 09/05/2026 14:16

MaybeIamJustABitch · 09/05/2026 11:09

So what you are basically saying is he’s being unreasonable, but you’re not? You’re now embarrassed? Unconditional love no longer exists because it doesn’t suit your agenda/style?

Perhaps he isn’t in a good place, I don’t know either of you, but FFS you are clearly more worried about others opinions of him. At least that is how you are coming across.

Unconditional love doesn't exist in romantic/sexual relationships.
It usually only exists with parents for their children and maybe vice versa.

I can't believe anybody thinks that it does to be frank.

BunnyLake · 09/05/2026 14:21

MaybeIamJustABitch · 09/05/2026 11:09

So what you are basically saying is he’s being unreasonable, but you’re not? You’re now embarrassed? Unconditional love no longer exists because it doesn’t suit your agenda/style?

Perhaps he isn’t in a good place, I don’t know either of you, but FFS you are clearly more worried about others opinions of him. At least that is how you are coming across.

There’s no such thing as unconditional love between adults.

BunnyLake · 09/05/2026 14:24

QuintadosMalvados · 09/05/2026 14:16

Unconditional love doesn't exist in romantic/sexual relationships.
It usually only exists with parents for their children and maybe vice versa.

I can't believe anybody thinks that it does to be frank.

Show quote history

Someone else talking sense.

My son’s ex was put out when told unconditional
love in a relationship is not a thing. I don’t know if it’s people’s ages (20s) but it’s unbelievable that anyone who is an adult thinks that is a thing.

Ricecakes101 · 09/05/2026 14:27

Christ on a bike op that taf is awful!! Are you saying there are 20 more on his body? Im shocked he's in work tbh

QuintadosMalvados · 09/05/2026 14:27

I hate tattoos.

If a man had one of something that meant something like being in the military, I'd accept it.

Similarly, a woman with a butterfly on her ankle would be OK. Though I'd still think she was a bit dippy. Pleasant but a bit dim.

Large multiple tattoos on areas like the back of the neck (especially if of unpleasant images) would be a no-no for me and, yes, I would class somebody who had them as mentally ill and/or chavvy/thick.

I couldn't be with him.

Heck no.

Aluna · 09/05/2026 14:28

feduptbh · 09/05/2026 13:31

This is an example. All over. Ffs

I mean that’s not even good. I feel your pain OP.

GoodWater · 09/05/2026 15:08

MyIcyHeart · 09/05/2026 12:09

I'm covered in tattoos, so I do understand how addictive they can be, but I haven't had any since I had my DC 8 years ago.
I couldn't be with someone who prioritised tattoos over children.

Same. If we were very well off, I'd probably get a few more, but we're not. Hard to justify a few hundred pounds on a tattoo when that could go towards a holiday/birthdays/Christmas/the mortgage/savings for kids.

pinkyredrose · 09/05/2026 15:14

QuintadosMalvados · 09/05/2026 14:27

I hate tattoos.

If a man had one of something that meant something like being in the military, I'd accept it.

Similarly, a woman with a butterfly on her ankle would be OK. Though I'd still think she was a bit dippy. Pleasant but a bit dim.

Large multiple tattoos on areas like the back of the neck (especially if of unpleasant images) would be a no-no for me and, yes, I would class somebody who had them as mentally ill and/or chavvy/thick.

I couldn't be with him.

Heck no.

Well at least you're open about your judgement!

Whiteheadhouse · 09/05/2026 15:15

I think they look filthy and hideous, especially as men age. Time to rethink the relationship as his words have made it clear how he feels.

rubyslippers · 09/05/2026 15:15

Anyone prioritising spending money on any addition over kids and when they have no spare cash is a dick

TheseWordsAreMine · 09/05/2026 15:19

“2 years ago I’d of canceled my tattoo for you but not now I don’t cater to you like that” - (OP qouting him)

That is him in a nutshell. Sounds like one of those Andrew Tate folks.

MaybeIamJustABitch · 09/05/2026 15:30

@BunnyLake In your world maybe, but not in mine, sorry! 🤗

gudetamathelazyegg · 09/05/2026 15:47

Basically OP it sounds like you're no longer physically into him, there's money concerns and he doesn't agree there's an issue. As a heavily tattooed person I do know people who will always find money for a tattoo, it can be physically 'moreish' in an odd way.

We do separate finances with joint accounts for bills and food shopping, so it's a non negotiable that money goes in equally. Everything else is for us to spend on whatever we want. But we don't have kids so a big different. I think the "shared" pot would need to cover all your DC needs. Anything he has left he can use to save for new tattoos, but he has to go over the numbers and cover what he needs to for the kids

Ultimately if you split the financial workings out might be easier because yeah it sounds like the aesthetic he's into is very much not your thing but it is what he likes. Honestly i wouldn't want to be with someone who was so unattracted to me and very open about it to people. His 2 years ago comment suggests that he doesn't really value you as a partner either, so I'm curious if you actually want to stay with him?

ItWasAlwaysMaybelline · 09/05/2026 15:53

MaybeIamJustABitch · 09/05/2026 11:09

So what you are basically saying is he’s being unreasonable, but you’re not? You’re now embarrassed? Unconditional love no longer exists because it doesn’t suit your agenda/style?

Perhaps he isn’t in a good place, I don’t know either of you, but FFS you are clearly more worried about others opinions of him. At least that is how you are coming across.

I have never loved an adult unconditionally. Surely your love for someone is absolutely conditional on how they behave, how they treat you?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 16:00

QuintadosMalvados · 09/05/2026 14:27

I hate tattoos.

If a man had one of something that meant something like being in the military, I'd accept it.

Similarly, a woman with a butterfly on her ankle would be OK. Though I'd still think she was a bit dippy. Pleasant but a bit dim.

Large multiple tattoos on areas like the back of the neck (especially if of unpleasant images) would be a no-no for me and, yes, I would class somebody who had them as mentally ill and/or chavvy/thick.

I couldn't be with him.

Heck no.

Well that’s fine, it’s your opinion. However calling someone ‘mentally ill’ for doing it is fucking offensive.

On the plus side, tattoos work as an arsehole deterrent so worth having them for that alone.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 16:01

Whiteheadhouse · 09/05/2026 15:15

I think they look filthy and hideous, especially as men age. Time to rethink the relationship as his words have made it clear how he feels.

I don’t think people‘s performative disgust at tattoos is the issue here although it’s rather amusing.

Marriedatsecondsight · 09/05/2026 16:11

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 16:00

Well that’s fine, it’s your opinion. However calling someone ‘mentally ill’ for doing it is fucking offensive.

On the plus side, tattoos work as an arsehole deterrent so worth having them for that alone.

Show quote history

Indeed. Dirty/ Chavvy/mentally ill. Ffs🙄

These are the posters that get numsnet its reputation of hiding behind the sofa when the doorbell rings/tradesmen shitting in their toilets/ a chicken lasting a week/a big salad and a tinkly fucking laugh.

Ugh.

It was a cert that this would turn into an I hate tattoos thread rather than what OP is posting about which is she was happy enough when he had a few, but hes spending family money on them and has so many horrid ones now its putting her off him

BunnyLake · 09/05/2026 16:26

MaybeIamJustABitch · 09/05/2026 15:30

@BunnyLake In your world maybe, but not in mine, sorry! 🤗

So in your world if you were in love and (it doesn’t matter why, this is hypothetical) your partner started beating you up, bringing other women home, dragging you by your hair, punching you in the face, flaunting their affairs, you would still love him?

I don’t think you understand what you’re saying.

takealettermsjones · 09/05/2026 16:29

"Cater to you" sounds an odd turn of phrase to me.

Do you have separate finances? Just from your talk about him giving you money, and you talking about "your" food shop rather than "our" food shop etc.

PermanentTemporary · 09/05/2026 16:43

I think your relationship sounds in really bad shape generally and the financial stress is no doubt part of that.

In general I’d do a lot to keep parents of young children together. If tattoos are expensive, splitting up costs a fortune. Do you have an agreed budget together with some money you each have to spend and the amount that the kids need defined? It sounds as if you both prioritise spending a lot on personal appearance early in the month. Does he say that he thinks you spend to much on nails, hair etc - is he competing with you? Does he disagree with some of the things that you think are needed for the children?

I wonder if you are getting to spend any time together and chat. Is there a way to try and do that? Try and get a shared future in mind?

PeoniesAreMyFavouriteFlowers · 09/05/2026 16:45

MaybeIamJustABitch · 09/05/2026 11:09

So what you are basically saying is he’s being unreasonable, but you’re not? You’re now embarrassed? Unconditional love no longer exists because it doesn’t suit your agenda/style?

Perhaps he isn’t in a good place, I don’t know either of you, but FFS you are clearly more worried about others opinions of him. At least that is how you are coming across.

Well, he’s spending a lot of money on them. And time. Surely both of those need to family focussed.

And if he is a mass of tattoos - scary ones at that - then she has every right to feel embarrassed.

Scrumbless · 09/05/2026 16:57

It’s also a fucking shit tattoo.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 17:12

keepswimming38 · 09/05/2026 14:12

I think when people get monsters and weird shit tattoos all over their bodies then it’s a sign of mental illness. I would be making plans to leave tbh!

I think judging this type of thing when it doesn’t affect you is also a sign of mental illness

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 17:15

PermanentTemporary · 09/05/2026 16:43

I think your relationship sounds in really bad shape generally and the financial stress is no doubt part of that.

In general I’d do a lot to keep parents of young children together. If tattoos are expensive, splitting up costs a fortune. Do you have an agreed budget together with some money you each have to spend and the amount that the kids need defined? It sounds as if you both prioritise spending a lot on personal appearance early in the month. Does he say that he thinks you spend to much on nails, hair etc - is he competing with you? Does he disagree with some of the things that you think are needed for the children?

I wonder if you are getting to spend any time together and chat. Is there a way to try and do that? Try and get a shared future in mind?

Why would splitting up cost a fortune? They aren’t married so apart from the house (if in joint names) there’s nothing to it. If the OP is that resentful, then it’s the best thing to do