AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

It’s easy to imagine as I’ve seen it happen so many times and it’s always for showing off to SM.
Its pathetic.
I can’t even blame the younger generation as we’ve allowed it happen by celebrating their achievements on camera.
Every time I see a parent take out the camera for dessert or something stupid, I eye roll.
I am not on SM anymore, the excessive showing off is awful. It’s so freeing.

But they were for sharing in a group chat?

Honestly if I were him I'd be rethinking the whole thing with you sulking over this.

Yes - if the poor guy has any sense, he will leg it.

Your poor husband to be. Why on earth would you be embarrassed?! You should only be embarrassed that you wanted him to arrange a photographer. Why do you need to show people?
Are you very young?

Do you have a neurological condition that causes memory loss? If not why do you need photos to look back on? Just use your memory, surely the bits you want to remember are how it feels to love him and how excited you are to spend the rest of your life committed to each other and a photograph or video can’t capture that anyway. Having a random photographer there would surely have ruined the intimate moment between you and your DP and made something special between the two of you feel public and open. Why would you want to share that moment with a stranger?

God almighty

Will you be this hard work in your marriage?

Maybe you should make sure you document everything yourself for social media.

Good heavens! Why does everything have to be recorded now. Why can't you just have nice memories of the event
It's very sad that people want to live their lives through social media

Ridiculous. Poor man.

Aren't you able to remember things unless you have photos or videos of them? A proposal is an intimate event between you and your partner, not an opportunity to boast and share the event with your friends. I’m afraid it makes you sound rather shallow and immature.

When DH and I got engaged we were the only people there, which is completely normal I think? Who the fuck would take pictures??

You sound ridiculous.

... Bridezilla has arrived early....

Good grief whatever next. You know you can do things without it having to be documented- live in the moment, enjoy the thing. When the heck did engagement photographers become a thing?

He’s a lucky guy to have found someone who cares so much about how the proposal looked to other people 🙄

Op maybe he didn’t want anyone to spoil the surprise for you by asking someone else to be there it might have given you a clue or they might have blabbed to you first. You have your memories of it . surely it’s the wedding day you want to capture. I don’t get why people expect proposals so extravagant. It makes no Odd’s how they propose or shouldn’t.

Couldn't you have just taken a joint selfie afterwards, if you wanted a moment to look back on?

Anything else is a weird staged effort, where life is only lived through the telling of it to others. Ugh!

I wouldn't worry too much, with how high maintenance you sound you'll likely be divorced in a couple of years so will want to forget it.

This is such an odd thing to be bothered about. I remember everything about my dh proposing, its a significant life event.
Don't let these thoughts overshadow this. Congratulations on your engagement.

I don't need to read the whole thread to know that you will have been given a hard time here, OP, and I have to admit I did roll my eyes at first.

However - having come out the other side of my own failed marriage, I realise now that feeling disproportionately upset over something which seems fairly shallow or trivial is actually usually a warning sign that there is something deeper going on. Does your fiancé have form for ignoring or dismissing things that are important to you, and might this be what you are upset about? If so, think very carefully about marrying him because he won't change.

I had to shoo my wedding photographer away from me, he kept popping up between us like a bloody Jack in the Box! Wherever I went, he was clicking away! Grrrrr!
I can’t be doing with too much fuss, so the engagement photos, filming, whatever, was not for me.
As a PP said - we have a memory…

Is anyone really this spoiled and self-centred?

Your friends are just being polite. They don't need to see any footage of the proposal.

Good lord.

You don’t sound mature enough for marriage!

Does your fiancé know what he’s in for? Let’s pray for him 🙏

One of my friends put her daughter's engagement on social media - photos of her in a romantic location abroad with her fiance down on one knee - her hand to her mouth in delighted surprise then all the friends and family appearing from nowhere to join the celebrations
Turns out the couple had bought the ring together before they went on holiday - what a palaver 🤦‍♀️

Ffs, I hate what's become of our society these days.

Our wedding album is in the loft and has been for at least 10 years. I see no reason to look at it. I can remember our wedding. I do sometimes wish we had not even had photographs taken and used the money for something else