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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

1000 replies

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 10:24

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

OP posts:
Dellsearch · 09/05/2026 12:54

Wow… just wow.

saraclara · 09/05/2026 12:55

Mistymaglets · 09/05/2026 10:29

Seeing this type of stuff on Instagram and TT etc just makes me cringe.
Seriously, all tears and hand flapping and false shit.

I couldn't agree more.

A proposal should be a private moment. Not a "look at me" moment. The idea of choreographing and recording a proposal is so incredibly fake.

When my DH asked me, it was completely spontaneous and out of the blue. And that's a moment I remember. If you need a photograph to remind you, then you need to wonder why.

whywonthelisten · 09/05/2026 12:55

😂

You are disappointed he didn’t arrange a photographer? That’s hilarious.

TheDenimPoet · 09/05/2026 12:55

You will always remember that special moment. You don't need it plastered all over social media for likes.

Parker231 · 09/05/2026 12:57

It’s a private event not a photography show. DH and I are adults - there was no proposal but a discussion about how we both saw our future.

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/05/2026 12:58

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 10:24

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

"Embarrassing..."

There's only one thing embarrassing here and it's your entire post. Get a grip.

Bufftailed · 09/05/2026 12:59

Is this a wind up???

LoyalMember · 09/05/2026 12:59

The OP's going to be a Bridezilla, and have horribly high maintenance.

Sahara123 · 09/05/2026 13:00

Another thought. What do you do if the person being proposed to says no and it’s all on film ?! Wipe the tape ? Ask for a refund ?

Original poster
KatieHW · 09/05/2026 13:00

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

OP posts:
asdbaybeeee · 09/05/2026 13:00

Dh proposed privately but afterwards we took some photos of my ring/ us cuddling and sent them to family / friends.

Allseeingallknowing · 09/05/2026 13:01

SenuousDarling · 09/05/2026 12:38

I had to shoo my wedding photographer away from me, he kept popping up between us like a bloody Jack in the Box! Wherever I went, he was clicking away! Grrrrr!
I can’t be doing with too much fuss, so the engagement photos, filming, whatever, was not for me.
As a PP said - we have a memory…

Show quote history

Isn’t that what you paid him to do?

Utopiaqueen · 09/05/2026 13:03

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 13:00

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

I got engaged not so long at all. So did a lot of my friends. Absolutely none of us (bar one) had a proposal photos done and the one who did, it was absolute cringe fest.

What does modern times have to do with it? Does everything need to be a performance now for the public? Are people really that self absorbed and obsessed they think people really want to see their most intimate and private moments?

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/05/2026 13:04

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 13:00

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

Mate, you're making my opinion that you're vacuous worse with every post.

Please do not marry this poor man - let him find someone nice.

whywonthelisten · 09/05/2026 13:04

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 13:00

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

I got engaged a couple of years ago and I still think it’s a mad thing to be upset about.

VioletandMauve · 09/05/2026 13:04

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 13:00

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

What absolute rubbish 😂

Legolaslady · 09/05/2026 13:04

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 13:00

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

Perhaps he hoped that in reality , when it actually came to it, you would actually enjoy the moment for what it was...?

Pushmepullu · 09/05/2026 13:05

Friends’s daughter recently got engaged. She knew it was coming, but not the exact moment. They went out for a walk, he texted the photographer to appear out of the trees, got down on one knee and a private moment was captured in the middle of a park with loads of strangers. Her mum’s reaction was,” what a shame she didn’t get her nails done, I hope she won’t regret it in the future”! I think she’ll have bigger regrets in the future as the guy is a w**r.

SpaDaysForAll · 09/05/2026 13:05

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point

Those of us that got engaged last week are struggling to see your point hun.

SenuousDarling · 09/05/2026 13:05

Allseeingallknowing · 09/05/2026 13:01

Isn’t that what you paid him to do?

Show quote history

I paid him to photograph our wedding, our guests, the usual. I did not pay him to wedge himself into conversations, follow me to the Ladies, nor wait for me to emerge from the Ladies! I was tripping over him, as he didn’t let up!
He was invited to have food at the evening buffet, and we made sure he was looked after… but he was a bit of a over-stepper!

BudgetBuster · 09/05/2026 13:06

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 13:00

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

Because it wasn't important to him and he would probably be really embarrassed. I got engaged 5 years ago. In private. Honestly you're just being so selfish and ruining what should be a lovely moment.

SpaDaysForAll · 09/05/2026 13:06

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

You still said yes so it obviously wasn’t as important to you as you claim.

Cooshawn · 09/05/2026 13:07

Yet another example of people prioritising likes on Instagram over actually living in the moment and enjoying the joy in experiences instead of prioritising impressing people. It's so incredibly tedious.

Humanity is absolutely fucked.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 09/05/2026 13:07

KatieHW · 09/05/2026 13:00

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it.

Oh don't worry, most of us in "modern times" think you're being a bit of an eejit too.

A proposal should be about the two people involved. It's a moment for the two of you. You don't need someone with a camera encroaching on it.

You're saying that it was important to you to have a photographer there. Have you considered that it was important for him that the moment was about the two of you?

Jenpen31 · 09/05/2026 13:08

It's the marriage that's infront if you that counts. The vows you will make to each other. That you are going to stick together in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad and if you will both forsake all others. Not if you got a picture of video for social media attention.
We live in a very messed up world these days. Not your fault OP......its the way the world is. It's very sad.

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