AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

Haha! Nice try.

My DH and I have been together for 36 years. We got engaged when I was 18, we were looking at jewellery in a shop window and he said 'Shall we get engaged?', I said yes and that was that.

I just can not imagine my dc or anyone I know being fussed about proposal photos. What a weird world you live in, if this post is real of course.

Yes, it’s a bit like asking for proof of grand parental death when a student puts in a mitigating circumstances plea just before an exam…

Exactly

I am only 30 but my husband proposed to me when I was lying on his sofa age 19. We’ve built a lovely little life together and are still very happy. Would I have liked a proposal at the top of the Eiffel Tower? Yes… but I would have probably had to be dating a different sort of man for that. My husband is down to earth and not flashy, which is what I like about him. I wasn’t keen on his choice of ring so we switched it at the jewelers no issues. Life doesn’t have to be perfect, it can be messy and imperfect and you can still reach a place of happiness despite that.

@KatieHWyou need to grow up and sort out your values.
Hope any wedding is a long way off as this doesn't suggest you are in any way ready for what's involved in marriage and children.

I always thought proposals were private moments between a couple. I've seen pictures on Facebook of the man down in one knee and the whole thing just looks so staged and cringed. I'm not sure who it's for.

By all means have an engagement photo shoot or photo of the both of you with the ring but the actual proposal? Who would be taking the photo anyway?

Dear God.

why can’t you look back on something without a photograph or a video.

not everything in life has to be recorded to be remembered.

Ye Gods and Little fishes, as my late DM would say
Proposal videos? Whatever next🤣

YABU - I didn’t realise this was a ‘thing’. OP is being ridiculous

Same, only 28 years ago but I remember every second of it. How he tapped me on the chest (left side, heart side) with the ring box to get my attention and I felt an electric current through my body.
It was almost an otherworldly connection and it was sweet, romantic and memorable.

Can't imagine photos capturing this in any way!

Not everything in life has to be for public consumption. DH proposed to me in my birthday card.

I think you need to think about and bear in mind something commonly said: it's not about the wedding, but the marriage. The same applies to the proposal.

Everyone I know who has had a huge emphasis on flashy proposals and massive weddings without considering what comes next has had a nasty shock (many of the divorces I know of followed this pattern, including DB's)

Seriously, is this a thing?

And if it is does that mean there’s professional photographers being paid to position themselves discreetly and wait at a beach or park or wherever, in order to take these engagement photos? How odd.

Eh? Did your parents, your grandparents, ad finitum have photos? We didn’t even have them in the 90s/00s. What are you on about?

Step away from Instagram, it’s messing with your head.

No it was on instagram and I don’t have an account.
My friend was showing it to me on her phone and it was of someone else looking down and recording them and they had a camera on a tripod and everything.

It was crazy how fake it was.
They were literally all over each other and looked like the happiest couple in the world and then instantly went back to disliking each other.
The man seemed horrible.

I also saw one where they opened a card to reveal the baby’s gender and held their faces of ‘surprise’ for the photos.

I hate this era of attention seeking!!

Dear me. Sorry OP but this is sad to be like this.
To be bothered your friends might think not having a photo of the moment he asked was somehow lacking.
The whole wedding will probably have photos. Getting some sort of photo for every aspect turns it into a sort of performance rather than a proposal.

This is one of the maddest things I've read on here today - and that's on a day after an election.

Photographer? Really?

It's a proposal. A private and intimate moment between you, not a photo-shoot. You do realise that if it had been 'filmed' nobody but you would give a shit about it anyway?

I really REALLY hope you haven't expressed disappointment to your fiance.

Laughable.

It's not every day you get to see such a unanimous AIBU thread.
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but your approach to this is what I always tried to avoid like the plague. Such an intimate, special thing is perfect if it is only between the two people involved. Arranging a photographer for this gives it such a lame, sterile coating. It makes me feel that you - among many other people - seek outside validation. You can say it is not the case, all I am saying is that it sure gives off that impression. Certainly doesn't help that you felt "embarrassed" by not being able to provide a photographic evidence. Like when people upload every aspect of their lives online, it is just so sad to me. My wife and I never upload anything, we have our photos of our trips, of our children, and we keep it to ourselves. Asking someone to marry you is one of the most honest, heartfelt-things, or at least it should be, it is not a photo-shoot in a studio where we have to set the lighting right so our friends can get envious. I don't know, maybe focus on the love you share instead? I would be disappointed in my spouse if she would get hung up on such things...

To be honest, I feel the same of staged photo shoots of the happy couple in wedding clothes, too. They are always just so sterile and laughable. We have photos of our wedding, but our photographer was hired to capture real moments we share with our loved ones, the laughs, the dances, the hugs.

Glad no one captured my proposal on film 36 years ago.

We'd just been to the job centre to sign on and were waiting at the No. 11 bus stop by the garage, with about 30 strangers, when he got down on one knee. He didn't have a ring or anything. Of course I said yes. And of course everyone waiting in the bus queue was clapping and cheering.

You can't get that on IG.

Still together.

Maybe you can take some snaps of him backing out again 🙂

I give it a year

Get a grip

Did you not just take a selfie afterwards with him?
To me that would've been better than arranging a photoshoot.

🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hope all his friends are saying "Run"!

So was it spontaneous? Did you really want someone to photograph you? I’m cringing on your behalf - you are going to be one of ‘those’ brides