AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

No one has photos of their proposal placed around their house. Have you ever been to someone’s house where they are on display?

But she has to marry him to get the photos. They can publicly split afterwards. These mementos are important, don’t you know. The reality is by the bye.

That scenario has 'Smack the Pony sketch' written all over it, if you remember that show... 😂

You can book a photographer to do an engagement photoshoot. Doesn’t have to be at the time. If it would make you happy why not?

No which is why I said people have pictures of more or less private moments. You might have a picture that a friend took or a picture of you and kids that partner took etc. It wouldn’t be weird to have pictures of more or less private moments.

But no, I don’t know anyone who has pictures of proposals. Especially not taken by others. I just thought it wouldn’t help OP see she’s been unreasonable if people are objecting to her wanting them “for social media” when she’s said that’s not why she wants them. So I thought I’d address the fact that if she wants them for her own use in her home, it’s still unreasonable to want third party pictures of that particular moment.

As does your fiance. He’s probably worth someone who appreciates the thoughtful, romantic proposal. Not someone who complains about him not thinking to photograph it.
Be careful he doesn’t realise that before the wedding.

Do people not have a thing called an internal memory anymore??
does everything HAVE to be on social media otherwise is didn’t happen ???

I’m obviously getting really old.

let face it, I didn’t have my sons birth photographed or video'd…but I certainly remember it !!!

What sons? No photos, you must have imagined it 😁

Entitled much?
Are you hoping to sell the rights of your wedding?

Is your relationship for love or social media clout?

Grow up!

Absolutely this.

I agree with this, people are missing the point - it was something OP said was important to her, regardless whether you agree with it or not! Yes she probably is also focused on the marriage and life with her partner too, but it’s not unreasonable she’s upset because it wasn’t documented. There are so many posts on here about how women are sad their partners didn’t do / buy something on their birthday that they’d specifically asked for and I don’t see how this is much different.

OP, maybe you could arrange a little engagement photo session. It wouldnt be the same but might make you feel better to have a couple of photos as a memory.

OP don't let social media and other people enjoy this beautiful moment!

I'd think it was sad and a waste of money- and a bit self-obsessed - if my partner DID organise photos of our engagement. Bit cringe. Just take a selfie afterwards with your ring in it?

I'm 34 btw, my friends just took selfies.

You are being ridiculous.

FFS. How old are you? Yes, you’re being unreasonable. Why was it important? I got engaged six years ago and didn’t feel the need to have it photographed. Maybe you need to be concentrating on what is important about the proposal rather than the Insta moment. And maybe your fiancé didn’t want to have it shared with the world: his feelings are relevant here too.

Hahahaha this made me lol 😂🤣😂🤣

I’ve just told my niece my DS got engaged yesterday. She asked “did they film it.?”

Hahahahah. If my first proposal had been photographed, it would literally have been dickhead ex putting his head round the kitchen door and saying ' if we get married we'll get the married man's tax allowance. Phone the register Office' (1990)...

You have stretched the concert of having standards and knowing your worth to another level.

Maybe for him that was an intimate moment, which would have been ruined with a third party capturing it.

But for you to say you were embarrassed when your friends asked is very unkind to your fiancée when he made so much effort to take you to Rome. Even if he did not, you are very unfair to him. You are ruining the memories of such happy moment by getting into peer pressure.

Just send your friends a pic of the ring, and explain that the actual proposal wasn't filmed! It would probably be good for them to realise that not everything has to be documented!

If you want the photo for social media you are misguided. It’s hard growing up with everything requiring external validation but honestly all that matters is you feel 100% happy with your proposal and impending marriage; if you feel a bit disappointed now, it doesn’t bode well.

it’s actually fascinating to me that anyone is this vacuous

Why is it fascinating? Have you not seen those long Christmas presents for kids? Usually there are long lists of latest trending toys to be get bored of within months to Dior lip oils and expensive perfumes. You can’t expect those kids to become anything but superficial when they never got chance to learn to value little things.

I get why the pp finds it so fascinating. I don't think I know anyone as vacuous as the OP appears to be. I haven't seen the Christmas lists that you're talking about either.

He proposed. That's enough. Why does anyone need to see it? Am sure you have a picture of the ring!

Silly man… shouldn’t have proposed at all!