AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

This.

We only have thumbnails of our wedding photos on a CD. Never even got them printed out. The marriage is everything.

Maybe he wanted it to be a private moment between the two of you? Proposing must be daunting, he might have felt self-conscious about a stranger watching him do it. If he didn't want a photographer there, isn't that just as important as your wish to have one?

Yet even though he knew it was important you still said yes?
Will you be back saying my husband didn't do anything for my birthday and he knew it was important to me.

Maybe times do change as you are not expecting people to understand who got engaged a long time ago. However I can still remember my engagement clearly. There will be more important things to worry about. Marriage is a long haul not just pretty photos.

Well he must be able to see there is more to you than your unfortunately shallow and vacuous desire for a video of him suggesting you get married eh? Good for him.

Recreate it and film it this time? 🤣

Exactly, someone else who agrees. The responses sound bitter, jealous and nasty. The OP is allowed to feel slightly disappointed about a moment she imagined would be captured. It’s definitely more common to do that these days. I personally agree it’s a private moment, but it might have been just to capture it for themselves.

He surprised you with a trip to Rome, and proposed there, but you are whingeing because he didn’t organise a photographer as well? That sounds extremely spoiled to me.

Public proposals are a relatively new phenomenon. You're being fooled by social media, OP.

How can it be private if there is someone else there ‘capturing the moment’?

So he proposes, with a lovely ring, telling you he wants to spend his life with you... and this is what you focus on? Best of luck to him!

Wow!! I’m guessing you’re quite young and share every aspect of your life on instagram. Can’t you just post a picture of your engagement ring on your finger with a caption saying “I said yes”? I’m sure that will suffice!

If she’s old and mature enough to get married, she’s old and mature enough to take the opinions of strangers on an issue she asked for opinions on.

Noooo! It wasn't filmed at the time!

No, we think you're an entitled, spoiled, princess who's, unfortunately, made a very stupid post. Jealous or envious is the last thing we are, ffs...😂

Photos? Who do you think you are?

This is why I detest social media. Every bland nobody thinks they're a celebrity.

Oh you really are quite the little wind up merchant aren't you OP !!

You really think that 2,453 (and counting) people are bitter? 😂

Oh, ageism now, OP? What a peach you are.
I said it's a private moment between 2 people, not sure why that makes me old and bitter. I had a lovely proposal - still married.

I'm far from bitter, I've had a wonderful marriage and a wonderful life but if you get this stroppy this early I'm not sure there will even be a wedding.

Get a grip. Poor bloke I feel sorry for him already..

I am celebrating my silver wedding next year and have no desire whatsoever to be young again! I love being 55 and I love celebrating the milestones of younger relatives.

A proposal is a private moment. Why do you need it to be captured like this? My husband‘s niece is aged 30 and recently got engaged in Spain. There is a big family chat and she sent some lovely photos of the castle where it happened, her with her fiancé and also the ring and the beautiful restaurant they went to. There was not a single photo of the actual proposal. I find it baffling that you think this is the norm for young couples everywhere.

It was hour partner’s proposal too. And maybe he didn’t want it ruined by a tacky photo.

I would argue that the happiest couples don’t need this kind of thing. I honestly cringe when I see a photo of a proposal. It diminishes it rather than makes the moment more special and feels so performative. Your partner has more class.

You have ruined a special moment in your life and need to learn from this.

It does seem to be ‘a thing’ to have your engagement photographed nowadays. However, you could have easily taken a photograph of both of you immediately after the event. Also, the important part is that he proposed, not that it wasn’t photographed.

(from an older poster)

I don't anyone is bitter- just trying to help you see sense and steer you towards valuing yourself more than one photo. Your memory will cherish that moment forever more than a photo ever could. **

You sound like an absolutely peach.

I don’t think anyone has an issue with your proposal, it sounds like your fiancé went to a lot of trouble for you. The issue is with your lack of appreciation.

Would you go back to your school days? If not, why do you think women want to go back to the early years of their marriage and do it all again? Everyone wants to move forwards in life, not backwards.