AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

If like to say it's probably because he's not a vacuous idiot but he's marrying you, so...🤔

I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.

Wide range of views? Seriously?

Wish this was my only worry in life. How ridiculous.

Congratulations on your engagement @KatieHW!

I do think the concept of someone hiding in the bushes to pop out and take photo is weird though. Couldn’t you have taken a photo after?

My engagement was on a beach in china, we had met I china about 10 years before. He had it all ready and there was a women next to us having a fairly intense phone conversation. He had to wait till she left. Maybe we could of asked her to take a photo 😂

OP, you do your generation a great disservice by implying that they are all as shallow and performative as you and your friends. They are not.

All I can say is that, if you're like this about your engagement, you're going to be one heck of a bridezilla.

Perhaps you will accept a not-so-modern tip from someone who has nevertheless sustained a happy and healthy relationship over more than 30 years... don't focus so much on the grand gestures, focus on quality of the day to day relationship. That is what will enable you to last the distance.

Unless you have severe memory problems YABVU

This is a joke yes?

Ugh why would you want a photographer following you about during one of the most exciting moments of your lives? I genuinely think that's quite gross. I also don't know anyone who has actually done this in real life.

If you want to share stuff with your friends then record a little video of the two of you or do a photo montage of your ring, pictures of you etc on the trip etc.

I got engaged 3 years ago, and sorry, nope I don't get it. The proposal was a very private moment between the two of us, and we just took photos ourselves once he'd done the deed. I don't know anyone who has had a photographer at an engagement aside from an American family member.

However you could arrange an engagement photo shoot if you fancied it, to mark this stage in your relationship? Are you having an engagement party? You could combine it with that.

FFS, if I was him I would run a mile.

Molly Mae that you hun?

A friend of mine did the whole engagement photoshoot thing and it just looked so staged. The look of shock whilst perfectly made up and turned towards the camera. It didn't seem special at all and took the romantic elements away.

I am 28 and I assume a similar age to you but I think you’ve probably got carried away looking at social media and ‘if he wanted to he would’ bridezilla type content and yes I think YABU

WOW!!!!

I was ready to cut you some slack until you started with the ageist crap.

I wish your fiancé good luck.

I rarely say this but I think the OP is getting kind of a hard time here. Human beings have documented special moments in their lives since the medium of photography has existed. I mean people used to take family portraits with deceased family members. There is nothing wrong with having wanted a photo of the proposal.

Personally, I am a 100% private proposal type of person. I wouldn't want an audience, I wouldn't want it to be on the jumbotron at a sporting event, or written on a billboard, or any other public thing that people do for proposals. I would expect the person that I was marrying to know that about me and plan accordingly. Ideally, this is the person who knows me better than anyone else in the world. If the OP is someone who wants photographic evidence of the proposal, I feel like it's okay to be disappointed that her fiance didn't know that about her.

If this woman is in her early 20s or even late 20s you are being bullies

yes to this!

Nobody is bullying her, they're calling her out on her ridiculous behaviour.

How? Ot doesn't matter what age is she is? If she's old enough to get married and ask a self-righteous question, I'm sure she is old enough to hear that she is in fact being unreasonable (and also she's downright rude).

😂😂😂
Popcorn at the ready!

Please show him this thread so he can quickly retract his proposal and make a hasty escape!

Oh dear… I may have low standards but…I’m actually quite please that mine were private, not over planned and a surprise without strangers around. Having a photographer around would have totally ruined it for me… and I say that as some who has photography as a hobby.

Besides… who would want to look at those photos a few weeks down the lane?

Oh she's not being bullied, fgs!
She's posted willingly, folks have got an opinion. That's the way it goes.
Oh, and being in your 20s doesn't mean you're a delicate flower.

Right, so in your opinion, the boyfriend not only should have booked a trip to Rome, bought a ring and proposed... but also booked in a videographer who followed them around?
Right.

Getting old or not, you are so right.Nowadays people are so concerned about living life through a lens; they are missing the actual live event.