AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

Proposals should be intimate not public occasions.

'Aren't the type who I'd expect to understand'

Wow. So everyone between the ages of 40-80 is exactly the same, with the same views and opinions?

Lovely ageism there OP.

You are just making yourself sound worse.

You just take a grinning selfie or two and the ring! Honestly who needs American faff?

‘Lovely ageism there OP.’

LOL I thought the same!

Grow up and get over yourself!

😂

Well if showing off all the time and plastering every single thing that happens to you is "modern times" then it definitely is for worse and not better.

We got engaged 46 years ago (you know in the dark ages). It was no big production, just the 2 of us and he didn't get on one knee but it was still very special. We were going to be married and spend the rest of our lives together which, surely, is the important bit?

We are still together and still happy and in love. Most of the couples we know who had big showy proposals (although none had a photographer) and weddings are now divorced, many after only a few years

I’m early 30s as are all of my friends. Not a single one of us got photos of our engagements

And the conception of the first baby? It would make for such a lovely video at the gender reveal/baby shower

Most people look back on special events by using their memories.

Are you sure you're old enough to marry OP?
You sound rather immature.

What?

YABU

I thought "modern" meant that young women didn't expect fancy proposals from men, and either proposed themselves or just made a joint decision that they would marry?

I'm not sure why you think people getting engaged 20/30/40 years ago wouldn't understand. You've assured us the photos/video would be for your own personal memories and not for social media. Do you not think that people bothered with photos or videos 20/30/40 years ago?

Ah - I have it. Modern generation have short attention spans due to too much phone scrolling so they need the photos to remind them of what happened. Fair point OP.

ha some of these posts from others are brilliant it’s nice for a change 😂

I’m sorry, but you really need to get a grip. Do you want to make a commitment to spend the rest of your lives together? If so you are incredibly lucky. If this isn’t one of the happiest moments of your life so far, then I feel very sad for you and your fiancé.

In case you aren’t aware, there’s this button you can tap on the camera app to turn the camera round so you can take a photo of yourselves. The kids these days call it “a selfie”, I believe. Maybe try it.

My husband proposed to me in 1782, and he’d arranged for a portrait artist to capture the moment so I could remember our private moment fondly. So as you can see this is not a modern phenomenon and my husband is clearly a better man than your fiancé. I wasn’t going to hang it in the parlour, but what is the point of making facsimiles of such moments in one’s life if one is not going to put them where all of one’s friends can see it?

(Some - ok, all - of the above is completely made up.)

LTB

You'r being mad. Don't ruin what should be a happy event with petulance and vanity. It's his engagement too BTW- maybe he wanted to live in the (special) rather than breaking out a recording device.

This has given me the ick! A lovely, romantic moment between the two of you and you’re upset you can’t share it on social media or with friends?

My husband proposed to me in 2007 in our bedroom. We were both a bit drunk and for the first 5 minutes I thought he was joking as we’d only been together 6 months. We laugh often about that night and we’ve been married nearly 17 years.

@KatieHW can you give us an idea of how he proposed so we can picture it in our minds?

What do you mean he did nothing? He proposed to you! Your entitled and ungrateful attitude is not going to serve you well.

When I see proposal posts, I think how unromantic they are. Because there would have been somebody taking photos there unless it was a selfie. And if it was a selfie, it feels so performative. No thanks.

Your life is not content to be consumed.

You have a lot of growing up to do. Social media is not real life.

Tbh, it sounds like this marriage won’t work. If he can’t even get the engagement right in your eyes then you are probably not compatible

and honestly, you have a long life ahead of you and there will be lots of special moments. You don’t need photos to remember.