AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

Extremely good point!!

Ha ha brilliant too old to understand maybe just more grown up than you kids. You should have said no until he gets the production right.

Surely we’re past that? We’ve even had postmodernism. According to Google it’s now metamodernism.

Oh, for the good old days…

This. It should be a private moment between you and your fiance.

This is so clearly a wind-up and/or a bored Daily Mail journalist, but in the event that it isn’t, have a lovely life with your husband and I hope it all goes ok for you.

Honestly, as an outsider, and if I was your now fiancé, this would be such a red flag to me. It shouldn’t be important.
If this is enough to upset you, you are going to find wedding planning and the execution of the wedding day unbearably stressful.

Will you be filming the wedding night ❤️

Modern times has nothing to do with it

Things like engagements should be private and 'in the moment'

If there'd been a photographer at mine I'd have turned him down!

I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.

oh I love a bit of MN ageism in the morning!

I seem to remember having cameras 40 years ago … But I’m not sure we’d evolved opposable thumbs so long ago so we couldn’t operate them

I got engaged a year ago with a print out of the ring because it didn’t arrive on time.

You're being utterly ridiculous.

You sound vacuous OP. Your friends want to “see what happened”? Well your words and describe it. Just like the olden days 😆 Not everything needs to be recorded for posterity on social media 😂

There really isn’t a wide range of views as you claim.

The vast majority think your behaviour is totally cringe

I can’t think of anything less romantic than a camera in my face 🤣

It’s fine that you wanted a video of your engagement. But maybe your finance didn’t want anyone else there. The engagement isn’t just about what you want. It’s a moment where the two of you enter into an agreement to marry.
I understand wanting a photo to document the moment, but you can easily take a photo of the two of you with the ring afterwards.
I think it’s silly to ruin the nice moment by feeling upset about it not being filmed.

Exactly 😆
Not even a very narrow range.

Well then you must LTB. Don't marry him, don't have kids with him he will only disappoint you. Just imagine if he didn't photograph your vag at the exact moment a baby was coming out!

Haha yeah. She could have saved herself a fortune by just not having a photographer.

My husband proposed 53 years ago; I'm a tad insulted to find I'm now a 'type' who doesn't understand 'modern times'.

Ridiculous. Poor bloke.

Lots of people want to live their lives behind a camera and capture every single moment. Live in the moment for once.

You sound like you are going to be a right bride zilla

Grow up

Good grief, however did we manage before Instagram!?

cos if you can’t post it on social media then it didn’t happen.
No.
you sound entirely too immature to understand or be considering marriage.

Are you in the USA, OP?

A much younger friend of mine (late 20s at the time) got engaged a few years back and sent me photos and possibly a video (can't remember now) and I couldn't work out how they'd been taken without her noticing. She obviously thought this was completely normal and, of course, I was far too polite to say anything other than "congratulations" etc. But it just seemed really odd to me to have set up photos of something so personal.

She then also posted on social media when she "said yes to" her wedding dress and also likes to post about DC's key milestones.

But she's American and lives in the USA, so I just assume this is all a bit cultural and maybe also generational. I'm not aware of anyone I know in the UK who has arranged anything similar.

Perhaps your DP doesn't feel the same as you do about photos in this context and, having weighed it up, decided that his preference not to have photos was just as valid as your preference for them. Which is fair enough.

I'm mid-40s and got engaged (second time around) quite recently. No proposal, just something we've been talking about doing and timing it as right as possible considering the needs of our respective DC. We took photos of us together once we'd chosen a ring.

He needs to get out while he still can. Next thing he'll be in trouble for not having the correct reaction at the gender reveal.

Most people find this shit tacky as fuck.