AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

In which case don’t marry him. Pathetic that a lack of photos are the first thing on your mind. And yes, people who have been married for 20/30/40 years DO understand, that’s why we have been married that long.

Patronising as well! I'm sorry I'm not 'the type' you expected to understand <snigger> but I don't seem to be alone in thinking you might be hard work.

What did you expect your fiancé to do to capture the moment - employee a photographer who would just pop out of behind wherever he proposed to you from?? What’s wrong with a photo to mark the I do like a picture of your ring or one of you together? Is everything about how it looks on social media as if it wasn’t captured then it didn’t really happen?
You say your Fiancé knew that it was important for you to be able to look back on that moment & to have photographic evidence of it & that he’s in some way now ignored your feelings on this. You sound like you need to employ a camera crew to capture all these criticise moments in your life so you can broadcast them & that you are a Zilla in the making! Sorry OP get over yourself!!

Posters are missing the point because you didn't make it, but you're right.

Don't marry a man who isn't prepared to value the things which are important to you.

Pics or it didn’t happen

So you put more emphasis on a picture or video of your “moment “ than on the fact that another person wants to spend the rest of his life with you, forsaking all others?

Going to be a great marriage …

No, darling, we’re not missing the point.
You simply have no point.

Did you say, no, OP? Or ask him to prepare and come back to you when he was organised with same?

If you felt so strongly about it, you should have said no, told him why and advised him to ask again, but properly this time?

Or quite shallow

You mean aside from proposing to you? In what dimension of reality is that not the important part? Are you less engaged because he didn't build in a theatre production?

Do you understand how incredibly vain you are to be embarrassed by your partner not considering that you wanted a photoreel for your audience?

This.

You need to get off social media and live on the real world

😂

Engagements are an old tradition. They were made as binding legal contracts and used for legal and economic reasons to solidify alliances and transfer property and inheritances.

If you’re that modern, why do you even need an engagement? They’re not legally binding anymore. Just get married if you think you live in ‘modern times’.

I’m sorry to be so blunt but I honestly think it’s so silly to want a photograph or video of the exact moment of the proposal. That’s what memories are for and it’s in your head forever. I’m sure you’ll have some nice photos on your wedding day.

Maybe the OP is just with the wrong man.
Perhaps the engagement that wasn't caught on camera, as she longed for, was a bad idea.
I'm sure there is a man out there as vacuous as she is, longing for the opportunity to stage his planned big moment with his simpering bride to be.

And the present fiancé, who has been found so lacking, can move on and find a woman who has her priorities in the right order......just a thought.😏

I think given you boyfriend was asking you to spend the rest of your like with him. You withering on about him not arranging a photographer to capture that personal moment would definitely make me rethink my proposal .

💍
The bigger the better

Wouldn't it have ruined a romantic and deeply meaningful moment between the two of you to have some random snapping away thinking of shots and angles?

Some things are more important than social media.

If you want a photo to share with your news, take a lovely one of the two of you beaming and showing off the ring.

Best get someone at the ready to capture the conception of your first child together!

"I appreciate all the comments and wide range of views.
I do think those who got engaged 20/30/40 years ago are somewhat missing the point, and aren’t the type who I’d expect to understand. For better or worse, we are in modern times now.
I think the point many are missing is that DP knew this was important, yet did nothing with it."

Nope not missing the point at all.

You are already criticising the poor bloke and trying to control what he does and how he does it. Maybe he didn't want to be photographed like that. It isn't all about you and what you want.

Just get over yourself.
You are ruining your own special moment by being ungrateful and wanting more. It bodes well for the marriage.

Are you a member of the Royal Family, a Kardashian, or Taylor Swift?

Unless you are, YABU

Yep, and engagement rings were historically a symbol of ownership.

I love mine, I’m not going to lie, but OP thinking she is more modern than everyone else for wanting to plaster staged photos everywhere is bizarre.

congrats on your engagement

the rest? ageist twaddle from Gen Narcissist

Obviously your fiancé doesn’t agree! Honestly if it’s so important to you that you are still complaining, you aren’t well
matched. I think it might be best to call
the whole thing off. Otherwise this is just going to be repeated throughout the marriage/ your life together and just cause problems.

I am not an older generation and I think caring too much about social media is sad too!

Never mind I expect you'll be divorced within a few years.