In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

[saminamama]

a month ago today DH was told he may be made ‘redundant’, he was essentially sacked with a months notice and he signed a settlement agreement with enough money to keep us afloat for 2 months, after the end of this month.

It took him 2 weeks from finding out he was being made redundant to apply for his first role. Since then he hasn’t secured any interviews, and he’s had lots of ‘chats’ with so and so, but nothing material has happened.

I feel like he is way to slow when applying for jobs, and it’s not going quick enough and by now he should have a few interviews.

Posting as I’m really looking for a consensus as to if what I am feeling is valid, as I feel like I’m at the end of my tether. I darent ask him a question or distract him from anything as he takes so long to do.. anything.

im worried about our mortgage, I work but my salary only just covers the mortgage,

really lost and feeling resentful as it feels like he’s not pushing hard enough,

he’s a great dad and a loving husband most of the time.

looking for positive stories and advice as to how I get through this time.

im feeling so worried it’s affecting my sleep and I’ve been avoiding some of my friends, I don’t often feel in the mood to be around others who are sorted and settled when we are in this boat.

im carrying all the housework and childcare drop offs and pick ups so he has no excuse for not sitting and applying for roles, but feels quite futile to be honest, doing all the washing and cleaning.
if he is so slow and easily distracted/harassed and can’t cope no wonder he was sacked, awful thing to say but I’m wondering if it’s true

Daft.

How quickly people find a new job involves so many factors: the sector they work in, where they live, their age (ageism is a thing), their level of skills, experience and qualifications...

The fact that you found a job quickly does not mean everyone else can. That's just basic common sense.

I am glad he is getting balls rolling.
You did not give him time enough. The job market can be rather brutal in some sectors. And you were far too pushy and distrusting of him. You are scared, of course. I bet you he is too. And ge is the one on the spotlight, so ease up a bit.

I think there’s two separate issues here and some people are conflating them:

• The job market at the moment is brutal, particularly white collar jobs. Worst its been in about 30 years. People saying he needs to get on his bike and find something either don’t work in knowledge industry jobs or are being goady. It could easily take a year for him to get another job. Having coffee with recruiters actually isn’t a bad approach
• But, he can certainly be doing more to help you at home. Job hunting is tile consuming but he’s perfectly able to combine this with pulling his weight

Update he has had interevires for 4 separate roles, he didn’t get 1, he’s waiting to hear back on 2 and is having a second interview for one of them (one he really wants)
really really hoping that he gets it, so that I feel like I can breathe and live again and enjoy life again and not feel guilty for every pound I spend
and book a 4 day trip away to Spain or something
book a pedicure
Rejoin the local gym
take my toddler to Clarks for some new shoes
do a next order
join dance classes (toddler)

Keeping everything crossed OP

Good luck to him, hope he gets the one he wants

Hope he gets it OP!!

Good luck, sounds like there has been some positive progress and if he doesn’t get these at least he is getting interviews. The time spend on the cv was probably worth it

Just to say OP my son has also commented that the recruiting process seems very slow at moment - companies are using long application windows to get the right people rather than just get someone in hence why it probably seemed slow start - he’s in work but looking around and just now getting calls back 3 weeks after applications

Unless he is an actor, why doesn't he look for a job instead of for a "role"?

Go away

All the best to your DH, OP. Hope to see you back here with good news.

My husband was made redundant a year ago and he still hasn’t found anything. However, I think it is to do with his age.

What a weird thing to say

How do you support yourself for a year without a job

Good luck to your husband 🤞. But you’ve just had a financial wake-up call, you have really low savings and significant debt, and your first reaction to him getting a job will be to fritter money away on unnecessary rubbish? I’m surprised you don’t at least want to build up a 12 month buffer first for the next time?

I assume that that people claim benefits, use savings, had some redundancy pay or a financial settlement or are being supported by a partner who has a job.

The job market is not great right now so it takes people longer to find work. Not to mention that for older workers, disabled people and young people with no experience it is especially difficult to secure a job quickly.

But not take any job until you find a suitable " role" then? I can't imagine benefits would cough up for a year of being picky

There aren’t “any” jobs available
There are jobs that people are suited to and Qualified for
They aren’t going to give somebody who spent 20 years in project management on IT systems a role in Tesco’s for obvious reasons
Equally they aren’t going to give an 18-year-old waiting for their A-level results Sole charge of HSE to budget for and see if they can roll it through to completion
The take any job fallacy is exactly that

Exactly that ! And it’s what some people just don’t quite get -

I had to listen to this bollocks about four months ago. Imagine if I’d have been wasting my time working in McDonald’s for £13 an hour rather than filling out application forms for the 120 grand a year job I landed. 🙄

Err actually " they" do. My friend is hr for a supermarket. Many of the jobs are taking by " overqualified" people because of things like childcare or merely needing work.
There are shelf stackers with degrees as hours work for them

Courier jobs are easy to come by as well.
.
McDonald's have quite a few graduates working for them also. MY DS was one for a few months while he looked for something else ( all 2025 info before people ramble on about " back in the day"

I’m not sure about this. When I got made redundant from a highly paid professional role, I got a part-time job in the coffee shop near my house whilst I was jobhunting. It kept some money coming in, kept me sane and I spent the afternoons doing job applications attending interviews, etc. Maybe I was lucky but it kept me going through an incredibly difficult period.

It didn't take 168 hours a week, every week for a year to fill in application forms though did jt?

If you were supporting yourself ( or got someone else to do so) while not " wasting time working at McDonald's" then fine

If you getting govt support then not fine

You don’t fill out application forms for 120 K job and if I was entitled to government support, I would a bloody well claimed it. I’ve paid enough tax.