In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

[saminamama]

a month ago today DH was told he may be made ‘redundant’, he was essentially sacked with a months notice and he signed a settlement agreement with enough money to keep us afloat for 2 months, after the end of this month.

It took him 2 weeks from finding out he was being made redundant to apply for his first role. Since then he hasn’t secured any interviews, and he’s had lots of ‘chats’ with so and so, but nothing material has happened.

I feel like he is way to slow when applying for jobs, and it’s not going quick enough and by now he should have a few interviews.

Posting as I’m really looking for a consensus as to if what I am feeling is valid, as I feel like I’m at the end of my tether. I darent ask him a question or distract him from anything as he takes so long to do.. anything.

im worried about our mortgage, I work but my salary only just covers the mortgage,

really lost and feeling resentful as it feels like he’s not pushing hard enough,

he’s a great dad and a loving husband most of the time.

looking for positive stories and advice as to how I get through this time.

im feeling so worried it’s affecting my sleep and I’ve been avoiding some of my friends, I don’t often feel in the mood to be around others who are sorted and settled when we are in this boat.

im carrying all the housework and childcare drop offs and pick ups so he has no excuse for not sitting and applying for roles, but feels quite futile to be honest, doing all the washing and cleaning.
if he is so slow and easily distracted/harassed and can’t cope no wonder he was sacked, awful thing to say but I’m wondering if it’s true

DH has faced two redundancies in the last 10years. During Covid redundancy he decided to pivot slightly in his industry - 14months. Recently, 4 months. He’s at senior level, excellent reputation in his industry, but you can’t magic jobs and interviews from nowhere within 4 weeks. It was a full time job tweaking CVs, chasing ‘chats’ and looking for opportunities. While at home he also took over the large proportion of school runs, cleaning and cooking. I think it can also depend what level you are in the industry and what your industry is. It’s tough out there.

I was made redundant last year, had best part of a year's notice, so not as quick as your DH.

I started looking for work in April - and the start of that was working on CVs, LinkedIn etc. - had nothing by the time I finished in the job at the end of September, no interview, not a single response, nothing. I was fortunate to get another job quickly once I was unemployed but that was through someone I knew through the old job. Trying to get something through contacts/networking doesn't seem completely unreasonable in the current climate.

Recruiters have to have these "pointless chats" especially if he is on a high salary in a senior role

They can't just spec him out to potential employers if they have never even spoken to him

It takes time and I can't totally get your frustration when you are looking after the kids and exhausted. I do think he is taking the piss with going swimming and leaving you to sort everything

Get him to get on LinkedIn and start approaching the hiring managers himself. If he can target businesses that are in the same sector he has worked in etc

I don’t want to be bullish but, no it couldn’t be. If they didn’t resign it cannot be constructive unfair dismissal. If it’s a sham redundancy there is relevant case law, but not for constructive.

Yes sham redundancy - apologies for not using the correct terminology, it was a long time ago but the outcome was the same regardless.

Fucking hell. I’m glad my DH didn’t have this attitude when I lost my job

@saminamama all those chats with recruiters are a necessary evil. At your husbands level, a lot of jobs are through networking. He was made redundant. That’s a self esteem killer as it is.

in the current market he is very very unlikely to find a new job in 2 weeks: you’re being completely unrealistic

a necessary evil ? I bet the recruiters that spend eight hours a day on the phone to the clients trying to secure people positions Would love to hear that their candidates think of them.
The margins are so tight these days it practically is charity work

Apologies if I’ve offended you Ms Recruitment company . But what I mean is: he’s not chatting away to recruiters for the fun of it

You don’t sound very sorry
perhaps if he had of been networking and chatting to recruiters for the fun of it, he wouldn’t be in the position he’s in now.
Most of the good jobs are never advertised
Just a thought

”you don’t sound very sorry”. 😂.

i appear to have hit a nerve.

what I’m trying to convey to the OP is that speaking to recruiters and having chats with them is part of the job search (in fact,
for many of us, it’s how we find our next role)

It might not be that he’s refusing to apply; it’s that the roles themselves are being erased. I’ve had to retrain and start over at nearly 40 because the video game and film industries fundamentally collapsed under the weight of AI and mass layoffs. This isn't isolated to just one sector, either - AI is hollowing out careers across the board, and there simply might not be a 'job' left for him to go after.

I can't agree with people saying its only been a month
I was made redundant in January on a Monday and had a new job by the Friday. It is one that pays 8k more.

Well if you managed that it's great evidence that no one else should be struggling.

You’re very lucky. It’s difficult atm.

Well that’s great for you, of course it’s not impossible but just because it worked out that quickly for you it doesn’t mean it’s a reasonable expectation for everyone

Good for you. I lost my job in April (actual job ended at the end of May) and didn’t start a new one until July

Especially since being a single mother with two kids will definitely not allow the OP to keep an expensive house and stay on maternity leave/work very parttime.
Sometimes it can’t be avoided, but as a reaction of a husband being made redundant from well paid job and being a bit shell shocked for 2 weeks its - very mumsnet (i.e. completely out of proportion).
i swear some people have no idea of real life….

Surely that depends on what sector you are in, competition and salary level - at the higher ends the process is longer and less opportunities unless with a very in demand skill and not many candidates

There are people who take months to find a new job. It can be hard out there

Crass comment.
perhaps you were underpaid before…

Op

as always two sides to this
i have been in similar situations a couple of times. These things really do take time. Many many seemingly pointless discussions are all part of it. It only takes one to hit gold
as well as agents and networking he should obviously be trawling LinkedIn, job boards etc. all takes time

but otoh yes it took too long re the cv. And of course many people looking for work currently have a job, so there is no reason why job hunting should be more than a couple of days plus couple evenings a week.

rest of time full on household management. Other than the breastfeeding he should be doing the lot….. you should both have equal downtime

Hit a nerve? No you’re just being incredibly rude about the very people by your own admission that are able to help in these situations to navigate through AI and avoid the dreaded ATS and clueless talent acquisition team
Let’s hope you don’t find yourself in need of a role with your poor communication and lack of manners
You’ll be in the shit 😂

My partner took 9 months to land a new position, and even that is a temporary contract.
IT management. They were following up 10+ leads per month, and basically landed the role via networking.

Lots are in this position right now, millions in fact. It’s a crisis and largely down to AI. It took one of my student’s a year to get employed after graduating (saw on LinkedIn). It’s sadly just very common right now.