To think it’s odd not to check on your children at all?

[Summernightsmummy]

I’m looking after a friends 6 year old and 9 year old kids for 3 nights (from yesterday afternoon) while my friend goes to London with her sister to see some west end shows/musicals for her birthday (my friends birthday). Her children have been with me since 1pm yesterday and my friend hasn’t messaged or called me even once to ask how her children are. I’ve messaged my friend with how her kids are and messaged her when the kids wanted me to tell her that they said night last night and she hasn’t even read the messages but she has been on WhatsApp since. I couldn’t imagine going away for 3 nights and not checking how my child (I have a 5 year old) is like this and checking that my child is ok. AIBU to think it’s odd not to check on your kids at all to see how they are? I think it’s odd behaviour from my friend not to check how her children are and not to check that they are ok.

Here’s your medal🏅

I don’t know, you would need to ask the OP.

Oh I don’t know, daughters dad hasn’t checked in to see how she is for 19 years.

But what’s your thoughts, you’ve stated they’re not hurt, unwell or unhappy, how do you know that?

Do you think getting the messages, seeing them on the phone, but not opening them and responding is rude? Do you think it’s acceptable behaviour, like “well the kids are with you” not my problem, it’s meeeeee time?

Im interested to know your thought process, that thinks this is acceptable behaviour for a parent.

Do you think that’s good? Or do you think it’s dreadful parenting?

I think the sarcasm went right over your head there

I don't have children but I always check up on the dogs if I've left someone else in charge while I'm away!

I think that she should at least phone them to say goodnight. Also it would be polite to check with OP as she is doing her friend a massive favour! Its disrespectful to say the least .

Probably 🤣

I do think its odd, yes. If she is a lone parent its lovely that you've given her this time, but she should still check in, say goodnight to the children when theyre asking etc in my opinion.

My toddlers dad hasnt been in touch for 4 months and counting now, hes dad of the year

I don’t think it’s odd for her not to proactively check, as she will assume they are in safe hands.

However I do think it is really rude of her not to bother to read your messages or answer your calls when you are looking after her children - aside from the fact she doesn’t know if you are calling about a genuine emergency it’s just dismissive and rude.

Personally I wouldn’t have her children to stay again if I wasn’t confident I could get hold of her in an emergency.

Sounds like out of sight out of mind. Shocking behaviour

If the kids were hurt or sick or unhappy, then OP would have told us.

I didn’t say anything is acceptable, I’m
saying calling the mum disgraceful and saying she doesn’t care about her kids is unfair.

She obviously trusts you to look after the kids so no need to phone every hour.

Well no, not every hour, that would be ridiculous.

But this is day 3!!!

Who phoned every hour?

I think you’re wrong, her behaviour is disgraceful and she is acting like she doesn’t care?

Maybe she does care, but nothing in OPs posts makes it sound like she does. I mean the OP maybe asking can she administer medication (subject of another post), but can’t get a call answered.

That's shocking, what if there was an emergency or something was wrong with her kids?

You are just ignoring the fact that OP has contacted this mum at the request of her children who want to speak to her.

As for:

'If the mum is away there’s going to be nothing they can actually do in the event of an actual emergency anyway.'

the mind boggles. So if one of the children was in a serious accident, you really wouldn't expect OP to contact the mum to let her know?

Of course not…. I mean she couldn’t come back all
the way from london, could she? She’s got tickets to shows and Facebook to update!

I mean when they’re with my brother/SIL or my dad overnight I don’t really check on them. I used to ring to say goodnight and have a chat but they don’t want to talk to me 99% of the time because they're playing with cousins or hanging out with grandad. If it was a friend I would probably contact a bit more… it is a little odd but maybe she’s just having a really good time.

Would you also ignore messages and calls?

No but if she’s at a play phone will be silenced anyway. To be honest if my kids are in the care of my family members I don’t check my phone as regularly because I 100% know they can deal with any issues that come up - so if I was going somewhere my phone would be off I probably wouldn’t leave them with my friend I’d leave them with a relative. Her phone is probably just off though and while it’s a bit weird and not great I doubt she’s abandoned her children to join the cast of Wicked or anything like that.

This is so weird. I’d have to comment on the fb pics and say ‘child’s name was really wanting to speak to you last night am glad you’re having fun!’ It’s beyond rude and selfish!!