To think it’s odd not to check on your children at all?

[Summernightsmummy]

I’m looking after a friends 6 year old and 9 year old kids for 3 nights (from yesterday afternoon) while my friend goes to London with her sister to see some west end shows/musicals for her birthday (my friends birthday). Her children have been with me since 1pm yesterday and my friend hasn’t messaged or called me even once to ask how her children are. I’ve messaged my friend with how her kids are and messaged her when the kids wanted me to tell her that they said night last night and she hasn’t even read the messages but she has been on WhatsApp since. I couldn’t imagine going away for 3 nights and not checking how my child (I have a 5 year old) is like this and checking that my child is ok. AIBU to think it’s odd not to check on your kids at all to see how they are? I think it’s odd behaviour from my friend not to check how her children are and not to check that they are ok.

The fact she isn’t opening/ replying to your messages is very strange. Are you sure she’s ok?

She should have been in touch out of courtesy to you if nothing else. Ungrateful and rude.

I find thst strange. If I was even for a night I’d to say night night at the least. It’s not about trust or worry, it’s about letting your dc know you’re thinking of them.

It's plain weird

I think she's up to something and doesn't want to be reminded she has a family back at home.

The fact she hasn't opened your messages is very very strange.

I had a couple of friends as a kid who had shit parents (different parents, different kids)

One had a lot of kids, but only one daughter so the boys were ignored and basically got nothing for Christmas and birthdays. Daughter got loads. The boys were unpaid child care from the age of 10. The parents, when they weren't talking care of the younger sister, didn't know where the boys were and didn't care.

Another boy was born when his mum wasn't married or with anyone, she met someone, married and had more kids. The first was just ignored, again never any presents, jumble sale clothes when the others had new...

Some parents are shite

Very strange. I’d not have her children again as it’s a long time without their parent checking in with you.

Have you had them before? Is there a father if there’s an actual problem?

Have the children asked to speak to her? Mine would be asking all the time!!

Very strange my kids would be on my mind constantly I would text at least three times a day I would need the reassurance they’d be ok otherwise I just couldn’t relax

I’d call her first thing in the morning and ask if she’s ok. Then I wouldn’t look after her kids again. Bloody rude of her and she’s making a massive assumption that her kids are ok without speaking to them herself at least once. They could be bloody miserable for all she knows. Sorry you’ve been placed in this position, it is weird to ignore your own children at that age.

what happened when you called her?
or are you to busy slagging her off on mumsnet to call her, if you’re actually concerned she isn’t ok and isn’t getting your messages

I have tried to call her a few times and it just keeps going to voicemail and she hasn’t called me back either.

I would never leave mine for one night let alone three so given the fact she's leaving them at all, it probably shouldn't be too surprising that she's not particularly bothered about them.

Yes, they’ve been asking to speak to their mum and they have been asking to say night to her too and I have told her that in the messages that I have sent her but she hasn’t even read my messages.

Yes that’s very strange. And so sad the kids want to speak to her and she’s not even sending messages.

let’s hope she just really needs the break and is usually attentive.

She will probably have read your messages when she received the notification.

If you WhatsApp she has seen it but has chosen not to open it and respond...to me that is worse. She's seen it pop down and gone....nope.

To me that would make me not want to babysit again.

When I went on a hen weekend, leaving DH at home with DC 8, 7 and 14 months I rang 3 times a day 😆 for the 3 days (2 nights)I was away.

How rude that someone doesn’t actually open a text from someone. Unless it’s an appointment reminder or an auto text from a company.

But what about not answering calls... deeply suspicious that she's off doing something naughty, or is just an absolute cow.

when my nephew was 11 he stayed with us for a week. BIL called my husband to ask a favour and I insisted that DH put Nephew on the phone to say hi as he hadn’t spoken to his dad all week. BIL was a single dad and nephew had no contact with his mum.

BIL was surprised that he was here because he had forgotten who was looking after him and thought that he was staying with someone else. We lived 4 hours away and he just didn’t give a 💩. Never ever provided any money either for these long term stays.

Rude as hell to drop your kids off for 3 days and not be contactable in case of an emergency. I wouldn’t look after her kids again.

Ok judgypants!

I'm not the most maternal of mothers but I can't imagine doing that. Firstly because my children would want to be able to speak to me. Secondly because I would be overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation for a friend willing to have my kids for THREE days and nights. That is so kind and generous of you. And she's ignoring your calls??? Rude fucker.

"Needs a break"? Don't we all dear. You can still call and say goodnight to your children!

Yes, I think there’s a good chance the messages are coming up on her Home Screen so she’s getting updates. I guess it is rude not to reply to messages though. Just to acknowledge the messages

Well I wouldnt have any child of mine with anyone I didnt trust so when they are are away what is there to check up on? I presume the people they are with dont need me checking they are doing a good job? so unless I speak to the child themselves if there was anything wroing I would expect to be contacted by the adult

I dont see how not cheking up means we dont care to me it means the opposite

Looks like they're your kids now, OP...

I was left behind for a weekend by my dm when I was a child. She went out of the country. It felt very long and I missed her a lot. I would've rung my kids at those age to say goodnight. Now they are teens I just whatsapp them directly or speak to the younger one. How are the children are they missing her? Have they commented on her lack of contact? Bit mean of her really.