To think it’s odd not to check on your children at all?

[Summernightsmummy]

I’m looking after a friends 6 year old and 9 year old kids for 3 nights (from yesterday afternoon) while my friend goes to London with her sister to see some west end shows/musicals for her birthday (my friends birthday). Her children have been with me since 1pm yesterday and my friend hasn’t messaged or called me even once to ask how her children are. I’ve messaged my friend with how her kids are and messaged her when the kids wanted me to tell her that they said night last night and she hasn’t even read the messages but she has been on WhatsApp since. I couldn’t imagine going away for 3 nights and not checking how my child (I have a 5 year old) is like this and checking that my child is ok. AIBU to think it’s odd not to check on your kids at all to see how they are? I think it’s odd behaviour from my friend not to check how her children are and not to check that they are ok.

Call the fucking police

Poor kids

Some people are just very thick skinned. She'll breeze back home and be completely oblivious.
Wonder what the fuss is about. But so rude to just ignore your attempts at contacting her.

Yes, we all know that on mumsnet. But it’s a likely reason why she’s gone AWOL. That or she’s come to harm somehow.

Oh sorry, missed the part about being with her sister.

Id comment on her social media picture “kids are missing you and I haven’t received a reply to my texts - checking you’re ok and could you pop a quick text and photo for the kids to reassure them you’re ok? Thanks!”

🙄

Talk me through the phone call

The children aren't mine, take them away,

Oh. As detailed as that eh?

How did you come to have the children in your care madam?

Well I agreed to babysit them until mum came back and she's coming back tomorrow

We'll leave you to it then madam.

Is he back OP? What has she said?

The mum asked me to take care of them for three nights. She's overseas and now not responding to my messages but posting on Facebook and what's app. I now no longer wish to care for them as mum has abandoned them.

Baby sitting isn't looking after them for three nights whilst mum and auntie get pissed up overseas.

London isn’t overseas? I think you’ll find OP lives in the UK, she also knew where they were going and agreed.

However, the DM is a disgrace.

It’s pretty shit parenting.

I find this very strange.
I couldn't go away and not check on my children.

Very odd I think. I don't call and speak to my kids directly (when they're at their dad's) as it upsets them but I always check in once a day and make sure they're okay. Even though I know they are safe and with their other parent!
Bizzare not to check up at least occasionally

Yes you did. Read your post: no mention of the children asking to speak to their mother.
Don't know where you're getting the equivalence of the children being sick or unhappy as I have never said that, it not being part of the OP's post.

She has chosen not to respond to a wish for direct contact from her children.

She’s only just got back now so I’ve said I will have her children overnight again tonight because they are already asleep!

Wow OP she’s got back at this late time!! No wonder you said you would keep the kids again. What time was pick up meant to be ?

Idk if you realised it would be this late. Did you manage to keep your composure with her?

Guess she thinks you’ll call if something urgent happens? It is a bit weird, maybe she’s carried away in the moment and fun she’s having. She clearly trusts you.

The OP did call - several times.

I didn’t mention the kids wanting to speak to their mum / wish her goodnight because it doesn’t necessarily mean the kids are sick or hurt or unhappy that their mum wasn’t speaking to them. If the kids were any of these things, the OP would havre said. It doesn’t mean I missed it.

Don't know where you're getting the equivalence of the children being sick or unhappy as I have never said that, it not being part of the OP's post.

Because you’re responding directly to my post which said ‘None of the OP’s messages to her have said that the children are sick or hurt or unhappy and the kids are with a trusted friend, so it’s not fair to say the mum doesn’t care about her kids.’

Was the plan for you to look after them until a reasonable time yesterday? That’s poor if she’s returned very late. She should have been upfront that she needed you to have them until Friday.

If the OP is asked to look after the children again, I think she should just change her perspective on all this. It's a chance for the children to have their own time away from their mum, and vice versa. If nothing bad happens (eg a child is injured, or is desperately missing mum) then simply have fun with the children within your family, with no mention of mum or attempt to contact mum. Tell mum in advance that you will only contact her if you really need to but that she's free to contact you. It's no big deal.