To think it’s odd not to check on your children at all?

[Summernightsmummy]

I’m looking after a friends 6 year old and 9 year old kids for 3 nights (from yesterday afternoon) while my friend goes to London with her sister to see some west end shows/musicals for her birthday (my friends birthday). Her children have been with me since 1pm yesterday and my friend hasn’t messaged or called me even once to ask how her children are. I’ve messaged my friend with how her kids are and messaged her when the kids wanted me to tell her that they said night last night and she hasn’t even read the messages but she has been on WhatsApp since. I couldn’t imagine going away for 3 nights and not checking how my child (I have a 5 year old) is like this and checking that my child is ok. AIBU to think it’s odd not to check on your kids at all to see how they are? I think it’s odd behaviour from my friend not to check how her children are and not to check that they are ok.

Wow!

There’s nothing anxious attachment style in expecting the mother of two children you are minding for several days to have the manners to acknowledge messages set .

Its basic manners and courtesy.

Some of these replies are astonishing

It’s not what many parents would do, for sure, but calling her disgraceful is dramatic when the kids are safe and happy with their entrusted care giver.

I actually think it’s really rude to be constantly messaging with nonsense

are you being paid for this service OP?

I don’t think your friend should call you to check that the children are alright. Because, obviously, they are all right otherwise you would’ve contacted her.

On the other hand, you are doing her a favour and I think it would be polite and acknowledging the favour, to check in that you are managing ok.

If she’d bothered her arse to acknowledge the first message, like anyone with basic manners, the OP may not have messaged again.

There is no defence to ignoring all messages. Especially the one where her children wanted to speak to her. Even if it was to reply to say that she thought it would upset them more or whatever.

Not showing the OP basic manners is totally out of order even if she thinks the OP shouldn’t be messaging.

Are the kids happy?...welI I guess she'll never know.

I can't believe some people wouldn't check in on their young children.

I'm getting visions of the character Denise from the Royle Family!

My DS is 20, I still call/text him to check in if I’m away.

Unlike me? Save the personal attacks please.

Op's post was dripping with judgement!

Their father or grandparents, different to friends.

You were uncontactable, working, not on a jolly.

Um, calling someone judgypants is the definition of a personal attack!

I do too and he doesn't live with us,but we still message to say we're going away.

I wouldn’t call to speak to my kids as they’d get upset and remember I was away.

but I would check in with the adult looking after them to see how they were doing

The mum is posting pictures so she is well.

None of the OP’s messages to her have said that the children are sick or hurt or unhappy and the kids are with a trusted friend, so it’s not fair to say the mum doesn’t care about her kids.

If you can’t switch off from worrying about your kids, that might be surprising for other people on the thread.

But the OP has messaged and the mum hasn’t even read them, despite being active on WhatsApp and social media.

that, in itself is rude.
your friend offers to do you a huge favour and look after your children and you can’t even be arsed to read a message from them?

The children have asked to speak with her. You missed that bit out.

well if the friend is not trustworthy then that’s a whole separate problem

She hasn’t read the messages or answered calls, she doesn’t know what the situation is. It’s unbelievably rude not to acknowledge messages or take calls.

No, I didn’t. It’s natural that the kids want to speak to their mum / wish her goodnight but that’s not the same as the kids being hurt or sick or unhappy.

Again, she is probably reading the messages as they pop up on her screen. Just because OP isn’t getting read notifications, doesn’t mean the messages aren’t being read.

@nomas , here we go again 🤦‍♀️

And the calls………..

Please don’t try and say the DM is right, you can’t possibly believe that?

Its rude as a minimum!

Out of sight, out of mind, does not include your children. Well for responsible parents it doesn’t anyway.

yeah bit weird.I leave my kids for 2/3 days a time with my parents but usually in regular whatsapp contact even if we dont speak.

If I was told that one of them wanted to speak to me I'd call asap.

hope she responds soon. I'm sad for the children. I wouldnt want to look after them again tbh.

I never said she is right. I’ve said that it’s not what most parents would do.

But people are calling the mum disgraceful and saying she doesn’t care about her kids, which is unfair given the kids are safe, not sick or hurt or unhappy.

I think if OP messages her to say one of the above has happened, and the mum doesn’t respond, that’s the point I would get worried.

So there not unhappy that they want to say goodnight but mummy won’t take their call? They’re happy about that are they?

I don’t think so!