For asking my partner not to sleep naked

[Em111110]

For some reason, my partner of 13 years has recently started sleeping naked. By recent, I mean the last few weeks. He says it is freeing and he sleeps better naked. There are occasions where we have fallen asleep naked in the past but we mostly wear pjs or at least underwear. The main reason is we have an 11 year old daughter, but I am also a bit of a clean freak and he is a typical sweaty farty man and it it gives me the ick sleeping naked in our sheets. My partner also doesn’t sleep well and gets up numerous times through the night, leaving the room to go for a drink, bathroom etc naked or kicks the sheets off so everything is on show. He says I am controlling for asking him to wear at least underwear to bed but I don’t think it’s appropriate for him to be naked when we have a nearly teenage daughter. AIBU?

He absolutely should not suddenly decide to get up in the night and wander around naked when you have an 11 year old daughter.

Sleeping naked is fine and you would be massively unreasonable to make him endure worse quality sleep just because you feel a bit weird about the sheets.

He needs to cover up when walking around the house though.

You need to teach your daughter about knocking and waiting when coming into bedrooms, and do the same for her - she will be wanting her own privacy soon if it hasn't already started.

If he sweats a lot, then maybe that's why he wants to sleep naked. As for farting, as far as I'm aware there are no gender differences in this area, and little you can do about it when you're asleep.

I think wanting him to wear at least underwear is a reasonable expectation, especially in the height of summer, as it gives a breathable but hopefully somewhat protective barrier between genitals/bum and bed.

No one wants sweaty ball smell emanating from their sheets, and surely you'd need to change your sheets as often as you wash your undies, if sleeping nude!

And he should definitely be covering up if leaving the room - at 11 your daughter is far too old to be confronted with her father's tackle in the middle of the night, should she happen to cross paths with him when going to the loo.

I sleep naked but I wear a dressing gown if I need to go to the loo in the night as we have a 12yo.

Can you sleep in separate rooms OP? It sounds like it would be a good idea.

He very clearly has an off suit...

I started sleeping naked in my 30s. No reason other than that the penny finally dropped that I could avoid annoying fabric riding up at night by not wearing it. And it's so much more comfortable. It certainly doesn't make me feel younger, or older, or anything deeper than just comfortable!

If DP described my naked body like the OP describes her husband's, it would be hard to come back from. If your partner's naked body disgusts you that much - or if you know your naked body disgusts your partner that much - surely the relationship is dead.

Unfortunately you can’t tell him what to do? Yes you can. And you can report his naked ass to social services before he traumatizes his own daughter.

BS. Put a fan on. Sleeping in underwear or shorts is not going to make someone massively sweat more.

Separate single duvets and he washes the base sheet and his duvet every few days. I think it's gross from a hygiene perspective

Social services have actual work to do. Protecting children from harm. Please do not encourage people to waste their time with nonsense!

He can put something on when he leaves the room but wear what he likes in the bedroom.

I have always slept naked. If I need the loo in the night I would not get dressed. My children are asleep and so don’t see me.

But they have seen me naked plenty of other times and don’t bat an eyelid and there is absolutely nothing creepy about it.

😆

I'm sure you do other things with him in the bed and you're both naked?

If you're such a clean freak that you can't have a man in the house being a man, then, what a miserable life you'll both have going forward!

Tell him to put shorts or a dressing gown on when he's outside of the room at night. I would agree your daughter doesn't need to see him naked.

However, his room and his bed is his sanctuary and he can sleep naked, if he wants? If it bothers you that much, they have beds that are 2 separate twins you could consider or separate beds, altogether? Or, tell him to sleep on the floor with his manly, shedding self.

Yes
I am getting images of drippy-just had a half assed wee-penises.
I wouldn't like sleeping next to someone who gets very sweaty either. But disclaimer that I am a lesbian (and live alone) so there's some boas here!

Boas-bias. I don't sleep with huge snakes (even though they don't sweat and I assume have adequate dressing gowns etc)

Bloody autocorrect.

If your children did feel uncomfortable about seeing you naked, have you made it possible for them to tell you without feeling bad about it?

I'm not one to be precious about nudity - my teenage daughter will happily walk in on me and chat away when I'm naked and dressing after a shower, for instance. But I've never inflicted my nudity on them, if that makes sense - I wouldn't just wander around the house naked where they could randomly encounter me.

I feel that as a child, sometimes it's difficult to tell your parents when they're doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable - especially if they're behaving as if it's totally normal. So imo, parental nudity should be 'opt in' for kids, not 'opt out'.

Yes absolutely.

And to be clear your example with your daughter is the kind of thing I’m describing. I’m not naked watching TV or cooking dinner.

If you don’t like it OP then sleep in another room, but you can’t force him to wear clothes in bed, it’s his body!

My husband would always pop a dressing gown on if he was going downstairs for something and we have sons (and an ensuite). I can't understand why your husband would be wandering the house starkers when you have a teenage daughter. As a teenager I'd have been mortified to encounter my naked dad in the hallway.

We sleep naked , kids knock before they come in. If one of us leaves the room in the night we put a dressing gown on. You are more likely to sweat with clothes on!
This does remind me of SATC when charlottes husband wants to sit naked of the white settee 😂

He shouldn't be walking around bake with kids that age, but it's weird that you object to him sleeping bed naked.

I find it very strange that anyone does not sleep naked. DH and I have never worn anything in bed.