For asking my partner not to sleep naked

[Em111110]

For some reason, my partner of 13 years has recently started sleeping naked. By recent, I mean the last few weeks. He says it is freeing and he sleeps better naked. There are occasions where we have fallen asleep naked in the past but we mostly wear pjs or at least underwear. The main reason is we have an 11 year old daughter, but I am also a bit of a clean freak and he is a typical sweaty farty man and it it gives me the ick sleeping naked in our sheets. My partner also doesn’t sleep well and gets up numerous times through the night, leaving the room to go for a drink, bathroom etc naked or kicks the sheets off so everything is on show. He says I am controlling for asking him to wear at least underwear to bed but I don’t think it’s appropriate for him to be naked when we have a nearly teenage daughter. AIBU?

Oh this got me my first lol of the day, thank you!

I’ve been with the same bloke since I was 14, I’m 50 now 🤣🤣🤣

We’d come in FROM THE CLUB at 4am and still shower.

We like to be clean in bed. In all of our home. We even - gasp - take our shoes off at the front door! 🤷‍♀️

I really struggle to understand this mindset where someone's own partner's penis is somehow gross or terrifying in any context other than sex. I cuddle my partner naked all the time in a non-sexual context - in bed or when one of us has just got out of the shower or is getting changed or whatever. I don't think 'OH NO HIS PENIS MADE BRIEF CONTACT, EWWWW! because it's just another part of his body with which I'm already well-acquainted. Sometimes it's sexual, sometimes it's not.

It was genuinely only when I started looking at Mumsnet that I encountered this extreme penis-horror. I don't know any women in real life who have this attitude at all.

So you wash your bedding multiple times each week? 🤯

So I was thinking this may not be nice if you’re none too friendly - I then realised that in boxers or pjs it would also be none too nice, if you’re not too friendly, so no difference.

So, I’ll maintain my position of everyone being able to wear, or not wear, what they choose in their own bed.

The comments on here continue to be hilarious!

Who said I have sex multiple times a week. I’ve got small kids 😂

Well I’m weird as I’m funny either way feet too.

I agree. There are some right pearl-clutchers on here, makes you wonder how they ever managed to conceive children! 😃

I sometimes think that a lot of mumsnetters may have only got married and had sex in order to have children

Sorry, thoughts and prayers etc 😂😂

Nothing to do with being unreasonable!!
The same way he is allowed to sleep naked you're allowed to request that he wears a gown when stepping out ot the door out of respect for your daughter! but, also living together is about partnership and commitment to each other, to respect boundaries and negotiate your shared living space AND compromise to meet halfway (always following a tranquil mature conversation)

100% this.

Hear hear.

MN is in general a very anti-sex place, and on top of that there's an extreme body-horror (and germphobia) prevalent here. Almost every time you see someone refer to a body part - their husband's penis, a woman at the swimming pool's arse, a random stranger's elbow - it's with disgust. I don't know how a lot of these posters get through daily life.

I just happened to randomly find this thread, and yikes! Skid marks, pubes, scary penises...geez, why do some of you even bother to sleep with your husband? My DH hasn't worn anything to bed in the 16 years we've been married, not do I want him to (I actually told him he better not be coming to bed with clothes on...LOL). And if I don't want a penis next to me in bed, I will sleep by myself.

I wonder if some of these posts are even real.

Your post is weird, telling your partner he needs to sleep naked

Why would you wear clothes to sleep in? That just seems totally counterintuitive.

I couldn't sleep in underwear.

However, I would have an issue with somebody doing this if they left skids in the bed! Have been a few grim threads about bum crumbs in the past. I always shower before bed.

I find it comfortable like I assume a lot of people do, do you not put your kids on pjs?

My husband stopped wearing clothes to bed long before we met, but you missed my point. When two people are in a relationship they should enjoy each other and not be disgusted by each other's bodies. If that is the case sleep in separate beds.

We have one son who just turned 9. He typically sleeps in his underwear, but when it is warmer he might sleep naked. I've never thought anything about it. My brother always slept in his underwear. I guess I've always figured that's how boys sleep.

Exactly. Nudity among family is not weird. I generally throw on a dressing gown but there might be times I don't bother if going to the loo, my ds knows that people have bodies. He is unharmed.

Eh? Seriously why are so many people disgusted at nakedness?

Presumably he was naked when you conceived your child.
Totally bonkers.

Exactly. It’s also good for kids to see normal bodies. The only reason I could see this as odd would be if he’s not her actual father. Or if you don’t trust your DH around your daughter for some reason, then he shouldn’t be in the house full stop.

If the kids want to be more modest that’s also fine and normal.

Otherwise it’s a non issue.

Yes, but they would quite often pull them off during warmer nights, which is absolutely fine and understandable. I wouldn’t want DP or I to sleep in pyjamas at any time, I’d be much too hot and I’m sure they’d get all twisted and rumpled up after my tossing and turning!

I’m not disgusted by nakedness at all but people judging others who choose to sleep in underwear or pjs as they are more comfortable isn’t nice either, each to their own