To think some people on here make too many excuses for parents feeding their kids unhealthy food to the point they become overweight or even obese?

[Giselle374]

I know a lot people are in really difficult situations financially, and the country overall has become harder and harder due to COL.

But I feel uneasy with the way some posts on this seem to imply that being in a hard financial position means unhealthy food almost can't be avoided.

People usually choose to have children, and food is a basic thing. If you didn't wash your child, or clothe them as best as you could, would that be similarly excusable? Arguably food is more important than many other potential areas since cancer and other illnesses are a very real danger if kids are overweight or obese young.

My mother had financial difficulties when I was young: she was a single parent and on minimum wage, and she hated cooking, ate very badly before I was born. But she ensured her meals (porridge, fish, eggs, veg based mostly) were healthy even if they were plain. I was barely ever allowed sugary or processed food. That's one of the things I'm most grateful for.

I do understand families in a depressing situation with few things for the kids to enjoy use food as something enjoyable sometimes
..areas need more resources, green space, libraries etc .

This isn't to deny the challenges of feeding kids healthily. But I think some posts on here lean too far to taking responsibility from the parents,,and I don't think that's helpful.

I'll take that as a no then. You don't understand.

In this chat forum on obesity you're making assertions regarding genetics without any undrestanding of the most basic biological concepts involved! This is why you're wrong I'm afraid. You are not grounded in science.

I suggest before you become opinionated about whether genetics and environment interact with regards to obesity and dismissing and mocking the whole idea, you should understand the fundamentals at least.

But the fatties are just GREEDY you know!

'Why don't you care about protecting people from exploitation? Why don't you care about protecting children?'

Well that's a bit of a leap isn't it. You're like a tabloid reporter taking what someone has said and twisting it .

People have free will and free choice, if they really think eating a load of ready meals and desserts is ok I can't help them . The fact is they know it isn't.

Anyone who has kids should feed them healthily but many don't. Some off to McDs as soon as they're onto solids. People know its isn't healthy. It's those unhealthy and obese parents that don't care, not me.

Please don't mock and call obese people fatties.

I suggest we keep to the topic that many parents overfeed their kids based on their own very bad choices then hide behind 'it's not my fault it's my genes/insulin/ hidden sugars not forgetting my hormones' as parroted on this very thread.

There's plenty of scope to allow for personal agency and responsibility while also recognizing that people live in an increasingly obescogenic environment (in terms of food and physical activity) and that there are genetic differences in how people respond to that environment.

It's not either/or but understanding the context (biological and evrironmenal) in which these choices are made.

I'm a huge fan of being evidence-informed and data-driven rather than just pointing the finger and shaming. If you want to see change, you need policies which are based in facts and evidence, not opinions.

Not dessert ?! 😮

I know. Slippery slope to insulin resistant/epigenetics/hormone fuelled/ upf/ not my fault/ no one told me there was SUGAR IN IT victimhood isn't it?

I haven’t RTFT but it is a complex and nuanced issue, and don’t forget that at the other end of the spectrum some of us are dealing with children with severe restrictive eating disorders like anorexia. I see the childhood obesity issue (and the rise of eating disorders in children too) as hugely multi faceted and complex.

For a start, the sheer volume of choice in supermarkets, the marketing of foods (not just junk food but ‘health’ foods too). As mass production of food has grown, marketing and technology has grown, the amount of ‘stuff’ in the world (not just food but clothes, electrical goods, beauty products and stuff) has exploded. I’m not sure why, for example, there needs to be 50 cereals (at least!) on offer in supermarkets. Well, actually, I do, because brands need to push products, product development and marketing create jobs etc etc. There is an argument to say that if we simply got rid of most ‘unhealthy’ foods the economy would collapse.

It’s also controversial but having two working parents and the ease of things like takeaways, deliveroo, (admittedly not everywhere), ‘fast’ food, stuff that can be microwaved in two minutes etc, the food noise in every single space, social media…. It’s all too much.

And like with many things, it’s often the ‘worried well’ middle classes who are fretting over whether their bread counts as ‘UPF’ who really don’t have much to worry about, vs the mum struggling to feed her kids.

For me personally, I have 3 kids who couldn’t be more different. One suffering with severe anorexia who’s ’recovery plan’ includes stuff like Kit Kats, ice creams, crisps etc, one who is sporty, eats anything, would as happily eat edamame beans and hummus (I know, I know) as he would a doughnut, and one who is autistic and has a very limited variety of foods. Like I said, complicated.

'If you want to see change, you need policies which are based in facts and evidence, not opinions'

Such as healthy eating advice everywhere, food labelled clearly and plenty of encouragement both online and in the media not to feed our kids crap?

'It’s also controversial but having two working parents and the ease of things like takeaways, deliveroo, (admittedly not everywhere), ‘fast’ food, stuff that can be microwaved in two minutes etc, the food noise in every single space, social media…. It’s all too much.'

This is true but if you're a parent in the cereal aisle we all know absolutely that oats and muesli are healthy whilst Kellogg's rice crispie choc bars and Coco Pops are not yet many choose the chocolate crap. We have posters on here bleat that it's all hidden upf and no one knows or they can't help it. They do and they can.

I am interested in what food is available in your house, if there’s no UPFs, no sugar, nothing unhealthy ever.

Are your kids ever allowed an ice cream at the beach? Or a chocolate bar as a treat? Everything they ever eat is home made, and has absolutely no sugar in it ever? Do they eat exclusively pulses?

You must have some very compliant children, and an awful lot of time on your hands.

Yeah there’s always an excuse on the internet “you don’t know their life”

well I lived with one. Same house same kitchen same bathroom. The only privacy was our bedrooms. Her toddler was morbidly obese. Her cupboard in the kitchen was full of nothing but chocolates and biscuits and crisps. Her section of the fridge nothing but junk food like chocolate yogurts and fruit shoots. Forgive my French but she was also a complete cunt. And yes she was responsible for her toddler being obese

When did you weigh someone else’s toddler, and pop their info into the paediatric BMI calculator?

He was visibly morbidly obese! As for your snarky comment in all honesty I probably could have weighed him if I wanted to I literally lived with her and she was forever leaving him alone

What on earth do you mean 😂

You would potentially think by sight that my son is obese. I can confirm that he isn’t, he’s plain old overweight - because I know his height and weight measurements, and you… don’t.

I get the feeling the reason you dislike this woman isn’t anything to do with her fat kid, because even you’re aware it’s none of your business. He’s not your kid, and it’s not your fridge full of fruit shoots. Mind your own and focus more on her being a “cunt” and less on her child.

My aforementioned ex partner had never heard of a UPF. We had (I'll correct myself I tried to have!)a conversation along the lines of healthy diets etc etc and I had to explain to her what something processed was, what foods she ate that had the most calories/saturated fat etc etc as she was trying to lose some weight.

She simply did not get it.

@Llwenbaukler "Forgive my French but she was also a complete cunt" genuinely made me laugh, and I have had a crap day, thank you😆

Someone a long time ago (completely forgotten who) told me that with foods, if it has to be advertised, your body does not need it.

I am sure it is not valid in every single case, but for the most part, I agree with it.

It is my business, being a fat kid is physically and emotionally unhealthy, not being able to run and play with friends, teasing, I know people who were fat kids and lost the weight as soon as they were old enough to control their own diet. Guess what. They have loose baggy skin hanging from their stomach which they cannot get rid of and are super self conscious about.

I am not talking about you or your son. I’m talking about the son of a woman I used to live with and he was visibly morbidly obese. Her cupboard was visibly full of junk food as well as her side of the fridge. There really was no excuse.

Parents should have a ball park figure of what a child needs calorie wise, that is not difficult or controversial. The child does not need to know.

Jesus, even the vet has posters about calories for average sized pets and warnings about portion size, snack sizes, snack calories for us owners.

No I’m still not understanding.

Being a fat kid is physically unhealthy, for sure. But that’s not your fat kid is it?

His future saggy stomach won’t be your business either. It’s still not yours.

Which brings me back to it not being your business, because neither the food, the child nor the future problems are yours to do anything about.

Nobody sane is calorie counting their children.

Nobody.

I actually weighed my son a few weeks back, because the paediatrician needed his weight and he wouldn’t let her do it, so we did it at home.

When I mentioned it to my sister, she rightly said that under usual circumstances - people aren’t weighing their kids. They don’t know their child’s weight, and they don’t encourage them to develop food complexes.

Adults are messed up enough, let’s not pass it on to our children.

Where do you draw the line with this thinking? If someone’s beating the crap out of their child is that just their business because it’s their child? Not giving a diabetic child their insulin is just the parents business? I take it your mother fed you a relatively healthy diet and you do not have saggy loose skin due to what you ate before you were old enough to know what “calories” meant?

Social services is a thing because children’s safety isn’t just their parents business

My mother fed me crispy pancakes and oven chips. She’s 64 and still wouldn’t know a calorie if it danced round the room in a tutu.

And I doubt anyone would report a parent to social services over saggy skin. Did you?

Yes, but that's clearly not enough. Exactly why we need to understand the drivers, including the genetic and environmental ones. Shame is obviously not enough.

Also, if we are focused on child health, poor physical fitness actually has a greater impact on health than obesity alone. Of course the two often go together but not always and many healthy weight kids are actually in poor fitness. So it's not enough to focus on the food side alone, we need to look at how we can get kids fitter and more physcially active. Again, some of this is on the parents, but a lot is on the environment (and actually today's parents are far more hands on parenting than earlier generations where kids could just play out)

What do you mean by calorie counting?

You know ball park figures about what calories are required for babies, toddlers, young kids, older kids. Its fuel intake. Not dieting. Its not a 'food issue', its basic health. Like you know how many minutes to wash your hands or do your teeth or how many hours sleep, or how many oz of milk.

You know these things.