Am I being harsh to finish with my date over his ‘home cooked’ dinner?

[WeeksJa]

I’ve had a few dates with a man over the last couple of months, and he invited me over to his last night for what he promised would be a ‘home cooked’ dinner. He knows I like my food and eat healthily/well.

This is what he served up:

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

It just felt a bit…low effort. Not what I’d describe as ‘home cooked’.

My friends are divided - a couple say to finish it, a couple say to give him the benefit of the doubt, feedback my disappointment and see if he can redeem himself.

Thoughts welcome!

i think i would be really happy if someone did that for me as long as it tasted ok!

I cook with spices but don't grind them fresh. Would that count as home cooked?

Not if you buy them from Lidl

😂

🤣🤣

Wow you are high maintenance. I’d be happy with someone making an effort.

I’m sorry, are you royalty?
You act like it.

Leave the poor guy and let him find someone that appreciates his efforts instead of dealing with Hyacinth Bucket (BOUQUET) for much longer.

Yes, what ever happened to “thank you for the meal”?

Yep.

To me that’s home cooked food. It was cooked in his home. What did you expect him to do?

If you think his level of cooking is never acceptable and would mean he would never be able to cook for a family long term, enough so that it’s a red flag for a long term relationship then you clearly aren’t compatible.

Although it isn’t him.

Perhaps not but surely that wouldn’t be a dealbreaker if he was willing to learn, and he excelled in other ways? Nobody is perfection.

I voted YABU, but because I think to just finish it over this rather than communicate expectations would be harsh if its otherwise been great. Not because I think there's anything wrong with your expectations!

I'm sorry, were you on a date, or judging a round of Masterchef?! He's looking to be your boyfriend, not your private chef.

This thread is hilarious.

I mean yes it sounds a bit shit but maybe he’s not much of a cook.

The OP clearly just isn’t that into him and that’s ok, but she doesn’t sound very nice.

Having said that it’s quite refreshing to read a thread where someone stands by their standards rather than coming on to moan about their crap DH / cocklodger DP who’s moved his kids in, forcing her to “blend” their families, everyone is miserable but the OP still won’t end things etc etc.

And you stayed friends with them despite this terrible lack of judgement? Who doesn't manually harvest their own squid ink? Savages 😫

weirdly nobody would have an issue with throwing him back/not fucking him if you weren’t quite so condescending about him.

YANBU.

I think if he’s not much of a foodie, it won’t get any better. Does he enjoy and can afford to eat out a lot? This would make a difference to my decision.

My DH doesn’t cook. In over 20 yrs together he’s attempted to cook dinner about 5 times, and it was rubbish every time.

My ex was a brilliant cook so I didn’t realise just how bad DH was going to be in the kitchen.

I Iove DH very much, but looking back, it might have been better if we’d not got together and I’d found someone who was more domesticated and enjoyed nice food as much as I do. We don’t ever eat any meals together as DH is fussy and doesn’t enjoy cooked food. 😩

Agreed, I think food compatibility is almost as important as financial compatibility, if you eventually want to live together. If you don’t want to cook all the time then you’re committing to eating food you don’t like for half the week.

I am a bloke. I'm not great at cooking.
But I've been happily married to an amazing woman for 15 years. I'm so glad she didn't ditch based on the first meal I cooked for her!

What? Don’t they breed and raise their own organic squid?

I've been married to DH for 25 years. He made effort with cooking for me when we first met but he's so hopeless at cooking that it was on a par with this. On the day he proposed he put a lovely bottle of red in the fridge : (

I didn't judge him for any of it though as he was lovely and still is. He's still crap at cooking (and only chills white) but brilliant at lots of things. I've been really ill and I was glad of what he put in front of me when I couldn't even get out of bed for months at a time.

I must have rock bottom standards.

The starter was microwaved and I think he over done them

The post tense of "overdo" is "overdid". It isn't two words, either.

HTH

Ugh.

Rock A+ standards. Keep on swimming.

You are the people who we need to love and continue in our society. Keep on swimming xxx

Sorry, should have said had a friend. I of course cut her off as soon as I found out. She's probably one of those fatties on S&B now.