Am I being harsh to finish with my date over his ‘home cooked’ dinner?

[WeeksJa]

I’ve had a few dates with a man over the last couple of months, and he invited me over to his last night for what he promised would be a ‘home cooked’ dinner. He knows I like my food and eat healthily/well.

This is what he served up:

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

It just felt a bit…low effort. Not what I’d describe as ‘home cooked’.

My friends are divided - a couple say to finish it, a couple say to give him the benefit of the doubt, feedback my disappointment and see if he can redeem himself.

Thoughts welcome!

It's not being able to use commas correctly that would have me running for the hills.

Edited to say sorry for the duplicate post; I got an error page, so thought it hadn't posted.

You had to edit that seven times to get it right? 😂

I thought it was just me. Every time I see posts from this user, it's always about agreeing with women, no matter how unreasonable they may be. And yes, anything else is misogyny. 😂

I think that man has had a very lucky escape.

It's definitely a pattern!

😂😂😂

Such a lovely person.

eta: worrying comma use again.

Bloody hell.

You want a man who's a Michelin chef.

You sound ungrateful.
He was making an effort.

(I don't know what the starter is- never heard of it.)

Of course she can. And any for any reason/no reason at all, I don’t think anyone is disputing that.

But it is odd the way she talks about it as a ‘reward’ for sufficient effort, implying he should be lucky to fuck her.

After her reaction, I doubt very much he was bothered about a shag

Wow, you’re horrible!! “He admits himself he’s punching!” 😶

I originally voted YABU but have changed my mind. I think the way we cook and eat give insight into the way we make love, and his lacklustre effort and questionable tastes do not bode well! In terms of compatibility at least.

OP has her priorities askew, the lady I spoke of would kill to have two kids even without a father in the picture .. but the time had passed for that . There is no such thing as perfection and if you chase it you will be sorely disappointed .

It's you that's reporting all the comments that YOU don't like/agree with. Very obvious.

You missed the bit about giving him the chance to redeem himself 😄

Do these comments make you feel any better about yourself?

You sound fucking nauseating.

Oh well, good luck with that.
He's had a lucky escape.

Maybe read your posts back and develop a bit of self awareness over how up your own you come across.

Nothing to do with having 'standards' at all.

Decent blokes sometimes can't cook that well.
He tried.
Arseholes can be great chefs but are still arseholes.

This hasn't really got anything to do with standards or worth, it's about compatibility and you're couching you being a bit of a dick in the wrong terms.

You sound like an unpleasant person and I think he’s had a lucky escape to be honest with you.

I actually think most people don’t enjoy cooking from scratch, it’s labour intensive and stressful for some people, hence there are so many convenience foods available to buy.

You can also be overweight and cook from scratch a lot. I find a lot of good cooks tend to use a lot of calorie dense ingredients for flavour, such as butter, cream, lard, etc so you’re being a bit of an arsehole to talk about overweight people as if they don’t cook decent, tasty food

I get that a partner being able to cook is important to you, it’s the way you speak about others that’s the problem, and the way you haven’t even given the poor bloke a chance over his cooking. It sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to end it, if you ask me, else you could have had more of a discussion about it with him.

FYI: ‘home cooked’ is not synonymous with ‘home made’

Lol. My DH is ok in the kitchen but it makes him stressed so if he cooks he does easy stuff, meal kits, pizza, whatever. He is 1000% better at making love and at showing his love in hundreds of other little ways in our day to day life. I know which one I prefer.

Probably every single part cooked from scratch!
There's no way a 3 course meal isn't an effort - even if he'd bought it all from M&S!

As a PP has said, that's a huge amount of waffle and deflection to basically admit you have had your head turned by a buff ting at the gym.

Beware though, if you haven't dated a serious gym goer before, he will eat chicken and rice every fucking day. He will be more interested in his macros than any kind of flavour in his food, especially if he is bulking. However cute he is, he will bore you shitless (ask me how I know!!)

You give the impression of being quite shallow (the sort of person who makes TikTok videos and insists on tapping everything with their false nails for no reason?) so perhaps you'll be fine.

Nomas can have a rest now at least, so that's something :)

Poor guy - I’d probably ‘cook’ similarly and I’m a woman 😂 it’s just not something I’d enjoy or want to be good at tbh.
Fortunately H is much better than me.
I’m the mum who bought a cake, unwrapped it, knocked it about a bit and put it in a tin to send to school for the home made cake stall 🤦‍♀️

Well I could hardly cook when I met my husband 20 years ago and am pretty glad he didn’t dump me because of that

(I’m a great cook now!)

Did he sell himself as a chef?
Home cooked.. cooked at home.

I cook with spices but don't grind them fresh. Would that count as home cooked?

I'd assume you've got the ick so that's it anyway.

My stepdad was a chef and master baker and never cooked at home for his family.

Saying cooking something from a packet is a 'red flag', other comments like 'know your worth ladies x' and moaning about the 'mental load' - I have my doubts about this whole thing. Absolute shit.

Yep. Absolutely it sounds arrogant.

How mean spirited do you have to be to conflate failure to produce Michelin starred meals for people you barely know with being somehow sinister and a potential 'red flag'?

The guy clearly has had a lucky escape.