Am I being harsh to finish with my date over his ‘home cooked’ dinner?

[WeeksJa]

I’ve had a few dates with a man over the last couple of months, and he invited me over to his last night for what he promised would be a ‘home cooked’ dinner. He knows I like my food and eat healthily/well.

This is what he served up:

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

It just felt a bit…low effort. Not what I’d describe as ‘home cooked’.

My friends are divided - a couple say to finish it, a couple say to give him the benefit of the doubt, feedback my disappointment and see if he can redeem himself.

Thoughts welcome!

She’s already finished it.

Thank you, I’ve ’raised my bar’ to quote the term I have read a lot on here.

In my experience most gym boys who can be bothered to be regular to the gym can cobble up some delicious healthy meals. I’ve stolen a lot of recipes from them. They don’t just go to lift iron, they know very well that nutrition is key for what they’re looking to achieve and there’s no better nutrition than the one you make yourself.

Either the OP or the friend.

That’s more effort than what I’d go to. I’m a crap cook so would probably got for a meal in a box type thing (Indian/Chinese)!

I don’t think reading the OP’s posts equals being the OP.

So your now ex-dinner date wasn't buff? Gosh, I'm surprised with your high standards you gave him the time of day!

Actually I find gym boys tend to like one kind of food only - chicken breast, broccoli/salad and maybe some sweet potatoes or a little rice.

It's healthy but certainly not Michelin-level which might be a problem for our haute cuisine OP over here.

How do you know there was no veg in the curry? Could you quote the post where the OP tells us what was added to the spice and sauce mix?

Maybe he didn't have hrs to prep something from scratch, it's not like he used a frozen curry, most ppl use shortcuts, I can make curry but I tend to use tinned tomatoes and curry paste rather than fresh tomatoes and loads of herbs and spices, same with chilli, I'll use tinned tomatoes, frozen peppers, onions and mushrooms, even restaurants use shortcuts

I wondered the same!

He might live off protein shakes and a meal delivery service.

Hopefully you'll like the way he cracks you open a Huel...

There was no veg. Only chicken.

Let him read this post first, so he knows what he’s getting into!

🤦🏻‍♀️

Because her OP literally sets out the meal:

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

How old are you?!

So anyone who disagrees with you is a sock?

Look you're not into him. It's fine. Don't pretend it's about the meal or your high standards.

I was raised a similar way and taught myself how to cook as an adult. It's no one's fault how they are raised but it is a choice to not learn once someone becomes an adult and I wouldn't find that to be very appealing in a potential partner.

Especially when we are talking about men and the fact that far too many of them still expect women to do the majority of cooking in a relationship.

I don't think it's sad. I just don't have any desire to teach a grown man how to cook.

But she didn't say in her OP what he had added to the kit, did she. But somehow you knew that he didn't add any veg. I'm not sure how you knew that, unless you were there.

Feel free to ask MNHQ, that’s what they’re here for.

If you’ve talked a lot about food & he’d bigged up cooking for you I can see why shop bought stuff was a disappointment. I think it really depends if you were expecting something a bit more fine dining. We’re any of these food items things you said you liked? Or random selection?

I’d also look for ambiance - were there candles, good music, table set nicely, wine, nice nibbles and aperitifs? Was his place today and welcoming? Was he attentive, interesting and thoughtful in conversation? If the overall dinner/evening package was good then you might be more forgiving of this first food effort.

I suspect there’s more than just a microwave dinner under scrutiny here.

How did he receive the feedback? What response would make dinner date 2 more likely?

I am staggered by this thread. I consider myself a proper adult - middle aged - have hosted people for years both casually and formally. If I wanted to be quick I wouldn’t hesitate to use jars. My focus would be on everyone having a good time. Who seriously cares??? And if the evidence was hidden - would you know they had used jars? I absolutely wouldn’t.

This has been a hell of a lot of words just to say the OP has had her head turned 🙄