Am I being harsh to finish with my date over his ‘home cooked’ dinner?

[WeeksJa]

I’ve had a few dates with a man over the last couple of months, and he invited me over to his last night for what he promised would be a ‘home cooked’ dinner. He knows I like my food and eat healthily/well.

This is what he served up:

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

It just felt a bit…low effort. Not what I’d describe as ‘home cooked’.

My friends are divided - a couple say to finish it, a couple say to give him the benefit of the doubt, feedback my disappointment and see if he can redeem himself.

Thoughts welcome!

I’m a certified omnivore but I love the McPlant too.

Well you said “could she teach him?”, that’s a little different.

But the reason was that he had failed to earn her favours, stop pretending you don’t understand the difference.
Or maybe you really don’t??

She hasn’t said most of those things. That’s just made up. She said a desperate MNer can have him after several awful posts to her. I think she is remarkably restrained tbh. Bravo to her.

Is food cooked at home not home cooked food?

Again, it doesn’t matter what the reason is. She can refuse to have sex for whatever reason she wants.

I'm wondering the same thing!

We have no idea whether he is a prize or not. All we know is that his food didn't meet OP's standards (or yours). OP sounds pretty full of herself and very much like Lady Bountiful deigning to give this peasant another chance if he apologises and grovels enough.

There is obviously no chemistry there because if she had really found him attractive, I doubt that she would be as fussy about the food.

You’re spectacularly missing the point. Of course she can choose to never have sex with him. That’s 100% her prerogative.
It was that that she was presenting having sex with her as reward that he had to earn and that he’d failed to win that prize.
Red flag central.

So she has stated that some mumsnetters are desperate, she said all of these things.

As I said I haven't read all the posts and some have been deleted, but she comes across as arrogant & conceited. She's playing to the crowd now, I can't believe she is really that up herself.

of course she can, it explains the low effort he has apparently made cooking. I’d not bother making much effort and reflect her effort in bed.

I think it depends on your ages. If you are late teens or early 20s, this is fair enough. Someone older should know how to cook properly really. I wouldn't be impressed if someone served me UPFs, and it does feel low effort. If time is an issue, there are still plenty of nice meals you can make from scratch that don't take very long. I cook multiple world cuisines from scratch and have a very well stocked pantry, it's just life experience. I think it's not just about the food/meal served as such, but says a lot about your lifestyle and how you live your life. Pretty much everyone in my social circle knows how to both cook and bake. I am sure OP is thinking about whether they are compatible or not, based on what he eats/cooks.

Indeed

How do people think it’s acceptable to say things like you just have? Mind boggling.

How sad. I was raised in a household with a mum who used Knorr packets for everything, so I had no clue how to cook from scratch – and I lacked the confidence to try. It wasn't until I met my partner in my thirties, who loved cooking, and he showed me how to use fresh herbs and spices that I improved and now I cook everything from scratch. But imagine if he'd dumped me just because of the way I was brought up around food, which was no fault of mine.

He has replied, a load of nothingness to be honest. In summary - said that he considered what he did to be making an effort and that he really likes me.

I’ve politely replied to say I don’t feel we are compatible and that I’ll be moving on, and wished him well.

I have been chatting to someone at the gym recently, he’s usually at the same class as me on a Tuesday. Hopefully he will be there tomorrow 😅

He could have just rung for a delivery or got ping dinners... Its not amazing haute cuisine but not awful....I am fussy about food and a good cook and I would be happy if a friend did this ... Its about the company. Surely at this stage... Maybe you'll be doing him a favour by dumping him.... By demonstrating that you value how well someone can cook over their character.....
Best get that on ur checklist early on to save time (ps. Generally chefs can be a nightmare to live with and live on junk when not working so maybe decide what level of cooking expertise is your cut off point)

They haven’t slept together though.

But what if gym boy can't cook either? Perish the thought.

Good. At least you know he doesn’t have a one off valid excuse.

Onwards and upwards, OP!

His response showed that you are not compatible, so your instincts were correct.

Don’t doubt yourself.

Hopefully he will finish it.

Are you the op, @nomas?
You seem to know even more than she does about the whole shebang?

I mean with a body like that I doubt he’s living off crap from Lidl.