Am I being harsh to finish with my date over his ‘home cooked’ dinner?

[WeeksJa]

I’ve had a few dates with a man over the last couple of months, and he invited me over to his last night for what he promised would be a ‘home cooked’ dinner. He knows I like my food and eat healthily/well.

This is what he served up:

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

It just felt a bit…low effort. Not what I’d describe as ‘home cooked’.

My friends are divided - a couple say to finish it, a couple say to give him the benefit of the doubt, feedback my disappointment and see if he can redeem himself.

Thoughts welcome!

So what? Perhaps that’s all he could afford or maybe he likes that particular brand.
Doesn’t mean he’s a horrible person. The OP on the other hand…🤷‍♀️

Yup

Jesus, now buying food from Lidl is a dumpable offence?

What’s wrong with being single?

No they aren’t. They’re calling her out for being rude and just plain nasty.

Christ on a bike...was the color of his socks off putting too? I hate that.

What has OP said that’s nasty?

I think the post by Hecatee was so bad that it made me gasp. Scroll up, it’s a few posts up.

Imagine thinking it would be fun to teach a grown adult basic life skills. Raise the bar.

She sounds extremely unpleasant to me, hence the deleted posts.

Nothing. But it’s a bit rich when you’re calling everyone else desperate

This one hundred fold. As an add on she is so patronising and demeaning, totally up herself. She must be incredibly beautiful because her personality is rotten.

Fine for a mid-week meal for family or yourself. When you’re trying to impress someone and have told them how you’re going to cook them a home made meal, serving Lidl jar food does not reflect that aim.

What has she said that was demeaning?

You sound like hard work - be honest with him, let him see the real you and he can decide if he wants to be himself or stay with you and try to live up to your standards.

@WeeksJa states know your worth - she is right, we all need to do this.

What she is missing the point is knowing what is 'of worth'

If she really feels that being a cook from scratch person outweighs what I stated earlier (page 14) then a long term relationship may be a long way away.

Really disingenuous to pretend OP hasn't been nasty. The punching comment and withholding sex as a reward are two examples.

And one experience of cooking does not make him a bad cook or a tight git.

She didn’t call everyone desperate.

Not only he's tight as fuck and a shit cook but he thinks junk food is a option when it comes to dinner time. I'm fully aware there's tons on here who think junk food is a good meal option but it's clearly not one for the OP as she sounds quite health conscious. Sounds to me it may not be a case of low effort but different values when it comes to health and life styles which is a problem in itself.

She’s calling people desperate for apparently not having the same standards as her. She sounds nasty to me.

I can’t see that post as it’s been deleted.

YABU. Honestly, OP, you're coming across like a complete diva here. Food is not the be-all and end-all, and there are far more important things to focus on when dating someone new. It's got nothing to do with 'standards' or accepting beans on toast ffs, eating together is supposed to be about the company, not whether it's taken someone all day to prepare some gourmet feast.

Having said that, judging by the tone of your posts, I think you'd probably be doing the poor boy a favour if you did dump him. Unless, you know, he dumps you first because he has 'standards' for how his dates treat him.

Are you always so ridiculous?

I know. But I don't think that there's any hope here on this thread. We see many self righteous people on MN, and those who are here for self gratification, and who will not shift from their stance, regardless of their seeming to recognise that they're not always right, I do wonder what the point of MN is sometimes.

This thread reflects this situation. The OP has said initially that she would like guidance on her issue, but will not take anything on board.

For me, yes, she has given me the opportunity to comment on her situation.

He cooked for you and it was in his home, ergo it was home cooked!
He needs to dump you, not the other way round. Who would want to date someone so pompous? Talk about being full of your own self importance.

I'm dying to know what you "bring to the table" OP. You talk a lot about what you "deserve" and how you expect more effort, but what effort do you make and why do you deserve so much from others? What do you contribute?