Cards, private or not?

[impatientfury]

Not something I have a bee in my bonnet about, just a thought really.

MIL turned up for son's birthday yesterday and within 5 minutes, told us she was going to go and read the cards (in the living room, we were all in the kitchen). It is also our anniversary and SS 18th birthday v shortly so a mix of cards out.

I just wondered if you would consider cards a free for all or private? To my mind, they could have sentimental words meant for you personally in them, for instance our anniversary cards. And I guess the answer would be not to display them, but this is our home, I'm not pinning them to a notice board on the village green, I should be able to put a card on the window cill from my husband? I guess I just find it slightly intrusive, to not even check first? Am I weird?

Probably stems from the fact I find her very unaware of herself. We get on very well but she is quite oblivious at times.

Anyway, cards, private or free-for-all?

It would never even occur to me to read the inside of anyone's cards.

I think cards are private and reading other people’s cards is rude

It's rude in my opinion fine to look at the front that's why they are on display but not to read the personal message inside I don't even know why someone would read it x

On display means the outside is on display. I don’t expect people to pick up my stuff and open it. Fine look at the pictures but keep your hands off

This would be my view I think. Plus she’s MIL, she’s family 🤷🏼‍♀️ I would fully expect anyone to look at cards I had displayed in my sitting room. I know you probably don’t feel like this OP but to me it’s a nice thing that she’s interested. And happy anniversary btw! 💐

I've never known someone to read cards on display?! Like why would it be interesting? They're primarily just going to say 'Happy birthday bob, love some rando' or be soppy and cringe for a stranger to read so I just wouldn't bother really. It's about the pictures on the front of the card isn't it?

I would be happy for my Mum to look at cards I've displayed and therefore by default, my kids other Granny would be treated the same.

Cards on display are not private. Not sure what heartfelt message could be.

On display in a room you have family and friends in? Public.
Put up in a bedroom? Private.

I mean, the punchline is on the inside, right?

Yeah I agree, it's almost oddly nosy isn't it. Im finding the people that do do this seem to be responding quite aggressively so maybe that tells me something in itself.

i think it’s rude and a bit odd. Would never occur to be to read someone else’s cards.

It is a strange thing to do and really wouldn’t be interesting to me. I’d look at the front if I was in the room but wouldn’t go out of my way to see them and certainly not pick them up.

I was always told you look with your eyes, not your hands. If you need to pick it up, that’s nosey.

I think if anyone read the cards my OH and I write to each other they'd die of embarrassment and certainly wouldn't read them going forward 😅

I think it’s really rude to read people’s private messages. I don’t care if they’re on display or not.
The very point of a greetings card is that you can stand it up somewhere and look at it for a few days. You shouldn’t have to hide it away for fear of nosey visitors thinking they have a right to read it.

If they are on display in a living room or such like they are open to be read by anyone. Keep them in the bedroom if you don't want them read by anyone else.

Wow! Woke up snippy this morning did we?!

I wouldn't be offended if someone did so but I'd be a bit surprised? Like what's the point kind of thing?

Interesting read for me. When I was about 11-12, I was in the headmasters office with my mum and was bored while they were talking. I was stood by the wall and he had loads of cards and postcards etc on a display so I started looking at them and reading. He told me right off saying they were personal and I was nosy. I was so embarrassed as they were on display so assumed ok to read.

I personally wouldn’t start to read someone’s cards in their home however I wouldn’t be bothered if someone read cards in my home if I’d displayed them in a family area. Anything that I don’t want reading I would display in my bedroom

I was at my friends house once and sitting on her sofa. Her birthday cards were on the mantelpiece and I could see straight into the card from her partner. He had written ‘to xxx’ ‘from xxx’. That was it.

She often says he doesn’t do romance but I thought it was very sad. This is why we shouldn’t read others’ cards.

My MIL does this and I think it's really rude! My mum always comments on the pretty cards, but would never dream of picking them up and reading the inside. Neither would I.
As someone else said, if someone has left their diary out, or a file, does that mean it's ok for anyone else to read it? If course not!

I would find this rather odd and nosy tbh.

I think of cards as private but I don't know why. I just remember the first time someone read one of mine. That jarred, and it's never stopped feeling weird to me. I wouldn't do it, but it's clearly a common phenomenon.

No, I think it’s rude and nosy. As PP have said, the picture is public but the message is not.

I may be influenced by how my late father behaved when I was living at home. He’d read ones in my bedroom, so there was no privacy save for hiding them away.

And he really pored over them. I have no idea what he found so interesting. After one row when I told him to stop it, I asked why on earth he wanted to read them anyway. He said “I just like to.” To me it’s a lesser version of those people who, if left alone or with a spare key, would open drawers. It’s a slightly compulsive nosiness.